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If you could take one item from the Ancient Tab into real life, what would it be and why?


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I would take a stack of Thulecite, bring it to Harvard, blow everyone's minds with the discovery of a new element, and rake in the dough from my discovery until I'm rich enough to spend the rest of my life in paradise.

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Magiluminescence Assuming I have Nightmare Fuel to fuel it too.

OR

Star callers staff: cool mini stars and warmth with lots of uses. I would also go out and cast a few stars around for the Homeless in winter for warmth.

Edit: The Staff has up to 70 days of dwarf star time in it :D

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I'd probably take the houndius, thought about magiluminessence but then realised I wouldn't have the fuel to keep it running, I thought about the lazy explorer but figured its teleportation range would be too short to be able to telepoof out to town for groceries and back. So I'm going with the houndius, incase I got any invaders. >.<

 

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33 minutes ago, pyroisshy said:

Deconstruction Staff.

With it i can deconstruct any food and find out what it was made from, so i would use it to find out how to mass produce the McRib.

I would join with you, but with the construction amulet. we would mass produce McRib's even faster than Mcdonalds.

in all honesty, not just harping on someone else's joke...the lazy forager. it would make cleaning my room filled with 2 other people's shite infinitely easier, especially since my pockets are just as large as the survivors.

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34 minutes ago, pyroisshy said:

Deconstruction Staff.

With it i can deconstruct any food and find out what it was made from, so i would use it to find out how to mass produce Krabby Patties.

Next Spongebob movie confirmed to be a DST crossover: Plankton's Quest For The Deconstruction Staff.

 

anyway, the ancient item i would take is your mom because bigger is better :-) 

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Clearly, I would take the pick/axe. I can finally prove to the world that gold has a potent utility use while simultaneously breaking a rock and chopping a tree! /s

As for a serious pick, I would take the crown. I always loved seeing ancient designs, and not only does this have that, but it even has the handy dandy function of basically becoming a portable shield every couple seconds, which is always something neat. And if you needed to, you can always wear it as a fancy fashion piece.

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39 minutes ago, Terra M Welch said:

It's 2020 and "your mom" jokes are still a thing? They aren't even funny.

I guess you're right /:

In all seriousness, I had a thought that i might take the belt of hunger, too bad that's just a normal magic tab item (which is weird to me because its ruins-based) so that i could take a motherly bite out of world hunger, even with a single belt! Here's how: if I got my hands on a construction crew we coud probably get it around her finger. (your mom's finger, ofc) If the ring fits, it could cut world hunger by ~20%, and your mom would lose a good bit of weight. And before anyone mentions, I know this could mess with the earth in a few ways, probably causing a few earthquakes*, but i believe this would actually lower the odds of world destruction and/or prevent another "giant diarrhea" event, and keep our toilet paper/water supply up. This would be really bad right now, as we can not leave our houses, due to the oh so painful cooties outbreak... If you are too young to know, in 1988 humanity fled to the bludwerntigoonusz's flying saucers to escape the before-mentioned giant diarrhea event, so anyway anyone who was a baby/unborn 1922-1924 wouldn't know what I'm talking about. (im not that old my grandpa told me about it) Anyway yeah, since we haven't had alien technology available since then, we really should do this whole "ring of hunger" thing, or blow up the planet before your mom hands us eternal (diarrhea) damnation.

edit:

*earthquakes due to a significant change in the earths overall size

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1 hour ago, pyroisshy said:

Deconstruction Staff.

With it i can deconstruct any food and find out what it was made from, so i would use it to find out how to mass produce the McRib.

But isn't knowing how to prepare the McRib also essential to mass-producing it? 

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I don't think i'd have the courage to bring anything from the Ancient tab back home for fear of flooding the world with unknown evils. I'd like not to have Them or any eldritch horror rising up and consuming all of earth because we brought something using NM fuel to operate and therefore bringing an item with their influence along - influence that They may use as a channel to expand their power...

If I could bring along an item with unforeseen consequences nullified, I would bring along the Star Caller's Staff. 

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I'm with OP on this one. A stack of Thulecite is the most economical advantage you can get, and I like money. Everything else will *eventually* run out as you cant have a way to refuel things.

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45 minutes ago, Canis said:

I'm with OP on this one. A stack of Thulecite is the most economical advantage you can get, and I like money. Everything else will *eventually* run out as you cant have a way to refuel things.

YEAH BUT IT AIN'T IN THE ANCIENT TAB!!!

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id get a bunch of deconstruction staffs and tear a bit off of something manmade w/ good/cool base components, and boom, now I can duplicate stuff irl, including the staff itself since the inability to do so in game is just balance so I win life!

Like, tie a bunch of dogs together and deconstruct that, boom I cloned dogs.

Such immense power would be scary so actually I don't win cus I ain't smart enough to know what to do w/ the ability to clone things w/o any sort of butterfly effect or unintended consequences, so best bet is to not take any of these. @wagstaff

4 hours ago, GetNerfedOn said:

I don't think i'd have the courage to bring anything from the Ancient tab back home for fear of flooding the world with unknown evils. I'd like not to have Them or any eldritch horror rising up and consuming all of earth because we brought something using NM fuel to operate and therefore bringing an item with their influence along - influence that They may use as a channel to expand their power...

If I could bring along an item with unforeseen consequences nullified, I would bring along the Star Caller's Staff. 

so pretty much this but with my house getting nuked instead of haunted by super demons

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