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Tips on how to survive Summer (irl)?


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It's as hot outside during the day as it is inside my house. I'm almost overheating. I tried washing in a cold shower, but that only helped me for like 5 minutes after I finished. May be I could go to the store and buy a water melon and put it on my head? May be that could help? Or find a giant cube somewhere and tie it to my head with ropes? May be I should make a whirly fan or get a proper fan, though not sure how much that'll help.

 

And quick, I need solutions asap, else I'm gonna be dead due to heat before you click that post button!

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Try traveling to the closest swamp to your environments and tear some reeds on the shore of the lake.

You will have to tank some mosquito bites, but don't worry. Malaria wears off just as quickly as your body does!

 

Next on your list will be gathering spider silk. Never worry about toxic arachnids catching themselves onto your hand, all you have to do is to violently panic and stun them until they either fall back and slay you by quickly leaping over your corpse and knocking you into an intense pain by biting, or by directly pricking their jaws against your future sore skin, leaving you no resorts but screaming in the middle of the forest without anyone there to help you!

 

If you managed to downright complete the list this far, you are on your merry way. The last requirement is to find the nearest desert in your region, a trivial thing to do if you ask me, and rashly collect some cactus flowers from the said plant. It always works! It only causes open inflammations and skin infections, but if your arms resist until the end, you can finally (somehow) craft a piece of greenlike cloth with the same arms, even with a comfy popcorn pattern on its surface! You have now survived the summer!!

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1.)Plant a tree
2.)Wait until it grew a bit and has a nice treetop
3.)Extirpate horse-flys and mosquitos
4.)Buy a lounger
5.)Get some ice cream
6.)Wait until summer is over
(Seriously though I know how you feel, Germany is afflicted by the same heatwave)

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I tried to make something that looks like the whirly fan, but it doesn't help. Ain't nobody got the time to run around the house. all day or outside for that matter.

 

Actually, may be I will go outside and stand under a tree... Lets see how well that works out!

 

And I think I'll go to the nearest kiosk and buy some ice cream...

 

And probably will have to go to the shopping center to get a proper fan.

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Carve a head-shaped hole into a watermelon and wear it as a hat. Then tie a freezer-sized ice cube on top of the watermelon. Place a Straw Hat on top of the Ice Cube. Carry an umbrella in both hands and hold them over your tower of hats and hat-like apparel.  No restrictions in real life.

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MAN UP SON

GOTTA FACE YOUR PROBLEMS
IT'S NEVER TOO HOT

YOU'RE TOO SOFT

NEVER GIVE UP

SKY'S THE LIMIT

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

(seriously do believe in yourself,)

DRINK LOTS OF ICE WATER

AIR CONDITIONING

CHEAP ASS DOLLAR STORE FAN THINGS (with like the water sprayer sometimes, idk)

GET HIGH WITH USED NEEDLES

OKAY ACTUALLY DONT DO THAT LAST ONE

THIS BELONGS IN THE OFF TOPIC SECTION
NEVER GIVE UP

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MAN UP SON

GOTTA FACE YOUR PROBLEMS

IT'S NEVER TOO HOT

YOU'RE TOO SOFT

NEVER GIVE UP

SKY'S THE LIMIT

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

(seriously do believe in yourself,)

DRINK LOTS OF ICE WATER

AIR CONDITIONING

CHEAP ASS DOLLAR STORE FAN THINGS (with like the water sprayer sometimes, idk)

GET HIGH WITH USED NEEDLES

OKAY ACTUALLY DONT DO THAT LAST ONE

THIS BELONGS IN THE OFF TOPIC SECTION

NEVER GIVE UP

I don't even know... What are you, a frenemie of mine?

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MAN UP SON

GOTTA FACE YOUR PROBLEMS

IT'S NEVER TOO HOT

YOU'RE TOO SOFT

NEVER GIVE UP

SKY'S THE LIMIT

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

(seriously do believe in yourself,)

DRINK LOTS OF ICE WATER

AIR CONDITIONING

CHEAP ASS DOLLAR STORE FAN THINGS (with like the water sprayer sometimes, idk)

GET HIGH WITH USED NEEDLES

OKAY ACTUALLY DONT DO THAT LAST ONE

THIS BELONGS IN THE OFF TOPIC SECTION

NEVER GIVE UP

I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL

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