Hey, Forumers. You had better find something to eat before night comes...

[Percival]

PHAHAHAHAHAAHAHH.

[Battal]

Charlie... Carter?

 

Battal ships CharliexDork Carter. Confirmed.

 

Putting only her first name would have been awkward, so I improvised.  Deal with it.

 

EDIT: And they ship eachother anyways.

Edited May 15, 2014 by Lord_Battal

[Spinorex]

*Obviously fantastic recording of yours truly*

I feel so happy that those kids are gone Those ungrateful urchins...

 

-I-I mean what a shame! What a shame indeed...hahahahaha.

[Percival]

I feel so happy that those kids are gone Those ungrateful urchins..

 

Children are ungrateful little bastuds that swallow up your money. Like drugs.

[KidneyBeanBoy]

So they scream at the sight of a man with grey skin (who's wearing GLASSES of all things. They should've felt mildly confused at most.), but not a giant voodoo doll and, well, battal?

Humanity's in trouble. We might have to commit genocide.

Edited May 15, 2014 by KidneyBeanBoy

[Strangerdanger101]

Obviously dragons are the best storytellers.

Nah, just kidding. If i told a story it would probably be something about dragons and fire (OF COURSE!!) and then that very dragon comes to life somehow and brutally mauls me. It would also probably eat all the children so don't actually do it.

[KidneyBeanBoy]

Obviously dragons are the best storytellers.

Nah, just kidding. If i told a story it would probably be something about dragons and fire (OF COURSE!!) and then that very dragon comes to life somehow and brutally mauls me. It would also probably eat all the children so don't actually do it.

What about "Poof, the mundane dragon"? Man, that brings back some ****y memories.

And if were doing this, I guess I'll nominate myself I guess.

Edited May 15, 2014 by KidneyBeanBoy

[Spinorex]

(who's wearing GLASSES of all things. They should've felt mildly confused at most.)

I'll shove these so-called "non-scary glasses" right into your eyes so hard that they become your new lenses gosh darnit. We'll see who's laughing at who then. So unless I die or are incapacitated for no particular reason suddenly or if you are significantly stronger than me which you probably are then YOU ARE DONE FOR BUDDY.

[Strangerdanger101]

I'll shove these so-called "non-scary glasses" right into your eyes so hard that they become your new lenses gosh darnit. We'll see who's laughing at who then. So unless I die or are incapacitated for no particular reason suddenly or if you are significantly stronger than me which you probably are then YOU ARE DONE FOR BUDDY.

This is why you don't make Spinorex mad.

[KidneyBeanBoy]

I'll shove these so-called "non-scary glasses" right into your eyes so hard that they become your new lenses gosh darnit. We'll see who's laughing at who then. So unless I die or are incapacitated for no particular reason suddenly or if you are significantly stronger than me which you probably are then YOU ARE DONE FOR BUDDY.

Hey, I have glasses too, and I'm not against them. I'm just saying they aren't very intimidating.

And even if I am stronger than you, you'd probably succeed anyways. I'm not that good at fighting.

Edited May 15, 2014 by KidneyBeanBoy

[Percival]

I'll shove these so-called "non-scary glasses" right into your eyes so hard that they become your new lenses gosh darnit. We'll see who's laughing at who then. So unless I die or are incapacitated for no particular reason suddenly or if you are significantly stronger than me which you probably are then YOU ARE DONE FOR BUDDY.

 

May I suggest a better alternative?

 

Snap the hinged legs of the glasses off, and shove them into the victim's eyes slowly, so as to ensure the maximum amount of pain possible. Afterwards, shatter the lens, if you can, into four seperate pieces of glass, cutting the sides of the person's neck. Pulling out the legs of the glasses out of the victim's eyes, try to keep the shattered pieces of glass attached to the end of the legs, whichever is fine, and shove them into the persons ears. After that, you should reach into the victim's now exposed eyes and pull out all the nerves you can. Grope the receptors like you're a messy child with spaghetti.

 

Then put the entire mixture of flesh into a pot and boil for thirty minutes.

Edited May 15, 2014 by Pecival

[Spinorex]

Hey, I have glasses too, and I'm not against them. I'm just saying they aren't very intimidating.

And even if I am stronger than you, you'd probably succeed anyways. I'm not that good at fighting.

So if you have glasses now and if I shove my glasses so hard into your eyes that they become your new lenses...

does that mean you have double glasses now?

 

Well either way, if I have glasses and if my OC was strong, which he somewhat is due to the enhancing and powerful properties of nightmare fuel, wouldn't it just mean that people would underestimate me and therefore I would have the upperhand in a battle? Plus I'd have better vision. That's always a plus of glasses. Vision enhancing effects for lenses designed explicitly for that purpose. What an idea that is. Truly.

 

Edit:

May I suggest a better alternative?

 

Snap the hinged legs of the glasses off, and shove them into the victim's slowly, so as to ensure the maximum amount of pain possible. Afterwards, shatter the lens, if you can, into four seperate pieces of glass, cutting the sides of the person's neck. Pulling out the legs of the glasses out of the victim's eyes, try to keep the shattered pieces of glass attached to the end of the legs, whichever is fine, and shove them into the persons ears. After that, you should reach into the victim's now exposed eyes and pull out all the nerves you can. Grope the receptors like you're a messy child with spaghetti.

 

Then put the entire mixture of flesh into a pot and boil for thirty minutes.

Seems like a good plan.

Edited May 15, 2014 by Spinorex

[KidneyBeanBoy]

So if you have glasses now and if I shove my glasses so hard into your eyes that they become your new lenses...

does that mean you have double glasses now?

Well either way, if I have glasses and if my OC was strong, which he somewhat is due to the enhancing and powerful properties of nightmare fuel, wouldn't it just mean that people would underestimate me and therefore I would have the upperhand in a battle? Plus I'd have better vision. That's always a plus of glasses. Vision enhancing effects for lenses designed explicitly for that purpose. What an idea that is. Truly.

Edit:

Seems like a good plan.

Yes.

I guess, but they would also be more relaxed and thus better at critical thinking.

Yes, I was about to agree as well. Much more creative. But then, there's the fact I'm completely made of stone, so that would complicate things.

Edited May 15, 2014 by KidneyBeanBoy

[Percival]

I'm creative when it comes to suffering.

 

I even have my own enemy list to type down creative suffering when I get bored or uninspired..

Edited May 15, 2014 by Pecival

[Spinorex]

I'm creative when it comes to suffering.

Isn't that the entire point of your writing thread?

[Percival]

Let us not derail anymore, both because I don't want to make Battal annoyed, and also I don't want to see my thread coalesce and combine with this one in some sort of psycho mutation.

[Spinorex]

Let us not derail anymore, both because I don't want to make Battal annoyed, and also I don't want to see my thread coalesce and combine with this one in some sort of psycho mutation.

I sense a crossover series.

 

 

Also, the story I starred in was both brilliantly written and had no flaws whatsoever and there is nothing anyone could do to make me say otherwise.

Edited May 15, 2014 by Spinorex

[Battal]

On topic now.

[Parrotoss]

Anyone know Aku? The stories with the children remind me a lot of that one episode.

[Hugos10]

 

It's Time for...

 

Storytime with Spinorex

 

A recording by Eternity Inc.

 

 

*Children flock into the classroom, speaking random chatter*

 

*Collectively scream upon seeing Spinorex*

 

"Calm down, calm down!  Surely you've seen a walking shadow with red eyes and glasses before!"

 

*Screams continue*

 

"MOOOOOOOMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

 

"I'M GOING TO READ THIS STORY WETHER OR NOT YOU STOP SCREAMING!"

 

"ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS A CATERPILLAR.  THE CATERPILLAR ATE LEAVES!  LEAVES!  AND IT LIKED THEM.  BUT THE CATERPILLAR WAS SO UGLY THAT THE BIRDS WOULDN'T EAT HIM, AND THIS MADE HIM FEEL SAD.  WHICH DOESN'T REALLY MAKE SENSE!  I MEAN, DID HE FEEL LEFT OUT OR SOMETHING?  IS IT SOME KIND OF CATERPILLAR AD TO BE VICIOUSLY TORN TO SHREDS BY A FLYING DEATH MACHINE?  I DON'T KNOW AND I DON'T CARE!  BACK TO THE FREAKING STORY!"

 

*Screams continue, even louder.*

 

"ONE DAY, THE CATERPILLAR WAS SO SAD HE WANTED TO HIDE AWAY SOMEWHERE SO NOBODY WOULD SEE HOW UGLY HE WAS!  SO IT CLOSED ITSELF UP IN A SILK BLANKET AND TRIED TO HANG HIMSELF ON A LEAF  HE JUST GOT STUCK, AND WAS LEFT HANGING THERE!  SO HE DECIDED TO TAKE A NAP!  WHEN HE WOKE UP, HE WAS A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY!  HE FLEW OFF, FLAUNTING HIS BEAUTY, WHEN A BIRD SAW HIM AND TORE HIM INTO LITTLE STRIPS!  THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS DON'T SHOW OFF OR YOU'LL BE KILLED BE A GIANT BIRD!"

 

At this moment, a giant bird flew past the window and saw the children's "Wall of Fame", which depicted all the good little children's hard work.  The bird attacked.  Nobody ever saw the children, or the entire classroom, ever again.  The above recording, which ended in the sound of shattering glass and more screaming, was found in a large pile of dung.  Lord Battal, the Supreme Overgod of Hell, refuses to release any information on the children's whereabouts. 

 

I'm Charlie Carter, reporting live from Max News.  Back to you, Cthulhu...

 

 

I thought that Spinorex's would have something to do with me, but a Giant Bird is okay, too.

[Willette]

I like the moral of that story. Keep quiet, always keep quiet...

[Percival]

Keep quiet, always keep quiet...

 

Here.

 

*sprays mystery gas into your face*

 

It will help you 'sleep'.

[Crapplejacks]

Here.

 

*sprays mystery gas into your face*

 

It will help you 'sleep'.

 

Hey, that's the stuff my mommy puts in my milk before I go to- *collapses, never to wake up*

[Battal]

Segment 26

"Retribution"

 

    In the ancient ruins, Spinorex and Hugos struggled to their feet.  With a single look, they silently agreed that fighting really wasn't going to help anything at this point.  Only a few seconds after making this conclusion, Hugo was sent back to the ground by an overexcited hound.  The animal ran around a corner and disappeared from view.

 

While Hugos lay struggling for breath through punctured lungs, Spinorex limped off after the hound.

 

* * *

 

  Battal leapt out of the way as the creature lunged, breaking the column which had served as his cover.   The lorem swung around to face him again, growling furiously.  "Get to a smaller area!"  Maxwell shouted suddenly.  "It won't be able to catch you as easily!"

 

     He began to stomp his feet and wave his arms around wildly, to attract the frog's attention.  But, as it turned out, that wouldn't be necessary.  As the frog approached Maxwell, the ceiling suddenly exploded, and a familiar red shape dropped in onto its back.  That was all Battal saw before he backed into the hallway, slamming the door behind him.  He ran into the nearest room and dove under the bed, hoping enormous monsters mutated by magical gems wouldn't think to look under it.

 

    After a few minutes of ribbiting, screeching, and general chaos, Flintface let out a pained cry, and the sounds of splintering wood rang out from the hallway.  The door to Battal's hiding place suddenly broke apart, admitting the enraged tallbird.  Splats of blood hit the floor as it ran to the corner, and, quite ironically, tried to hide from the frog as well.  What a twist.  Battal thought dryly, hoping Flintface wouldn't try to hide under the bed next.

 

 

 

    

[Spinorex]

@Spinorex - Official Reviewer

Is this real life?