Jump to content

Petition: Add Steamed Hamsandwich to DST

Recommended Posts

MAXWELL: Well, Warly, I made it... despite your directions.

WARLY: Ah, Team Captain Maxwell! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!
WARLY: [gasp] Oh egads, my meal became wet goop! But what if... I were to purchase Wilson's meal and disguise it as my own cooking? [to himself] Oh ho ho ho ho... delightfully devilish, Warly!
[cue song]
Warly with his crazy explanations,
Maxwell is gonna need his medication,
When he hears Warly's lame exaggerations,
There'll be trouble in town tonight!
[end of song]
WARLY: Maxwell, I was just, uh... just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
MAXWELL: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Warly?
WARLY: Uhh... no! That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having! Mmm... steamed clams! [beat] Ooh...
[a few moments later]
WARLY: Maxwell, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers!
MAXWELL: I thought we were having steamed clams.
WARLY: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams! That's what I call hamburgers!
MAXWELL: You call hamburgers "steamed hams?"
WARLY: Yes. It's a regional dialect!
MAXWELL: Uh-huh... uh, what region?
WARLY: Uhh... upstate New York?
MAXWELL: Really? Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams."
WARLY: Oh, not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression.
MAXWELL: I see. [beat] You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Wilson's base.
WARLY: Oh ho ho ho... no, patented Warly burgers. Old family recipe.
MAXWELL: For steamed hams?
MAXWELL: Yeah, so you call them "steamed hams" despite the fact they are obviously grilled.
WARLY: Ye- hey- you know, the- one thing I should- excuse me for one second.
MAXWELL: Of course.
WARLY: [YAWN] Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all, I'm pooped.
MAXWELL: Yes, I should be- Good Lord, what is happening in there!?
WARLY: Meteor Rain?
MAXWELL: Uh- METEOR RAIN?! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the biome, localized entirely within your base?


MAXWELL: May I see it?


WARLY'S MOTHER: Warly, the base smell horrible!
WARLY: No, mother—it's just the meteor smoke!
MAXWELL: Well, Warly, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good ham.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Please be aware that the content of this thread may be outdated and no longer applicable.

  • Create New...