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Petition: Add Steamed Hamsandwich to DST


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MAXWELL: Well, Warly, I made it... despite your directions.

WARLY: Ah, Team Captain Maxwell! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!
MAXWELL: Uhh...
WARLY: [gasp] Oh egads, my meal became wet goop! But what if... I were to purchase Wilson's meal and disguise it as my own cooking? [to himself] Oh ho ho ho ho... delightfully devilish, Warly!
MAXWELL: Uh-
[cue song]
Warly with his crazy explanations,
Maxwell is gonna need his medication,
When he hears Warly's lame exaggerations,
There'll be trouble in town tonight!
[end of song]
MAXWELL: WARLY!
WARLY: Maxwell, I was just, uh... just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
MAXWELL: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Warly?
WARLY: Uhh... no! That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having! Mmm... steamed clams! [beat] Ooh...
[a few moments later]
WARLY: Maxwell, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers!
MAXWELL: I thought we were having steamed clams.
WARLY: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams! That's what I call hamburgers!
MAXWELL: You call hamburgers "steamed hams?"
WARLY: Yes. It's a regional dialect!
MAXWELL: Uh-huh... uh, what region?
WARLY: Uhh... upstate New York?
MAXWELL: Really? Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams."
WARLY: Oh, not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression.
MAXWELL: I see. [beat] You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Wilson's base.
WARLY: Oh ho ho ho... no, patented Warly burgers. Old family recipe.
MAXWELL: For steamed hams?
WARLY: Yes.
MAXWELL: Yeah, so you call them "steamed hams" despite the fact they are obviously grilled.
WARLY: Ye- hey- you know, the- one thing I should- excuse me for one second.
MAXWELL: Of course.
WARLY: [YAWN] Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all, I'm pooped.
MAXWELL: Yes, I should be- Good Lord, what is happening in there!?
WARLY: Meteor Rain?
MAXWELL: Uh- METEOR RAIN?! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the biome, localized entirely within your base?

WARLY: Yes.

MAXWELL: May I see it?

WARLY: No.

WARLY'S MOTHER: Warly, the base smell horrible!
WARLY: No, mother—it's just the meteor smoke!
MAXWELL: Well, Warly, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good ham.
WARLY'S MOTHER: Help! Help!

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