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Hey, Forumers. You had better find something to eat before night comes...



67 members have voted

  1. 1. What do you think about this new story type thing.

    • Really cool, have my reputation!
    • It's neat.
    • Eh, meh...
    • Nah.
    • I wish it would die in a muddy ditch, alone, without friends, family, or HOPE!

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Segment Five

"Yes, these have names now"


           Battal spent the entire night watching the fireworks display cast its colors across the sky.  It cooled his nerves a bit, something he needed after his maddening encounter with the Grue.  As dawn approached, the fireworks became less and less discernible, until finally they faded out of sight.  Their echoing booms stopped as well, suggesting they were no longer being fired at all.  Battal cast away the ashes that had been the grass tuft, and stood up.  Taking a few minutes to eat some food and regain his strength, he began his trek to the place the fireworks had been launched from.  Hopefully, he could find shelter there, and not a trap or empty camp.


          After much walking, Battal sat down to rest, at a place he hoped was safe.  He then examined the wound at his side.  It was far worse than he had thought.  The cut was caked with mud and dried blood, and snippets of grass were inside the wound.  It didn't seem very deep, but it was quite lengthy.  Battal was no doctor, but he knew he had to attend to the wound, lest it become infected and kill him.  First off, he dragged himself to a nearby pond.  A largish frog sat near the edge, but luckily, decided to ignore him.  He splashed water on the wound, attempting to clean off as much mud and blood as possible.  That done, he tore off some cloth from his jacket, and wrapped the cut in it.  It would do, for now.


       More walking, and Battal knew he had to be near the camp of the firework-launcher.  Pushing his way through a thicket of trees, he found himself in the middle of a sizable camp.  The ground had been cleared of grass, leaving only dirt.  There was a tent, fire pit, science machine, the works.  But it was deserted; there was not a person in sight.  Battal sat down next to the fireplace in despair.  Perhaps the firework-launcher had left in the morning.  Maybe this had simply been a temporary location for him.  Either way, nobody was here.


A rustling in the bushes brought Battal out of his thoughts.  Something was moving through the thicket.  What was it?  Had the tallbird hunted him here?  His question was answered by a pale, suit-clad character entering the camp.  Upon seeing Battal, he raised what looked like some kind of strange rocket launcher.


"Who the hell are you?"


(Sorry for the short one today, I'm going to be busy)

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Seriously? What about all the jokes you could make about me saying "Who the hell are you?" Firework questions, camp show offs, hound attacks, and anything of the sort are ar YOUR fingertips.

Now work so that I can enjoy the production.

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Segment Six

"Campfire Stories"


Jakob sat down next to the blazing campfire at the center of Blewcheese's camp.  Taking a stick he had sharpened earlier, he impaled a chunk of meat and held it over the flame.  A few minutes later, Blew joined him.  They sat in silence for a bit. 


"So...." Jakob began.  "How did you build all this stuff?"


He gestured to the camp around them.


Blew shrugged.  "I didn't.  I found it whilst exploring."  He popped a roasted berry into his mouth.  "No clue who made it, though."


"Whoever they are, they're probably long dead."  Battal sighed.  "Eh, well.  They're probably enjoying a pina colada in an Eternity Inc suite right now.  As should I," he added, "had I not gone to goddamn sleep!"


The fire flared upwards in response to Battal's anger.


"But, I suppose, that helps us.  We have a nice camp now, instead of being in the middle of nowhere."  Blew reasoned.  "And maybe if we keep shooting off fireworks, more people will find us."


"As well will plenty of other things."  Battal responded.  "I was about to be eviscerated by the Grue before it ran over here.  We'll have to be careful."


Battal checked his morsel, and, finding it cooked through and through, began to eat.  Again; not at all food of the gods.  Battal looked towards the broken crock pot nearby, his stomach rumbling.


"You tried that thing out, yet?"  He said, gesturing towards it.


"Nope.  Haven't gotten the resources to fix it."  Blew said, turning to the device.  "Although I suppose it could be a good investment in the future."


"We'll have to go out and gather resources, in the morning.  A lot of stuff needs repairing in this place."  Battal decided.  He suddenly winced, due to a sharp pain in his side. 


"What is it?"  Blewcheese asked.


"Uhh..." Battal said, agony streaking through his body, "You, um, see any strange creatures lately?  Like...house-sized red tallbirds?"


Blew shakes his head.  "No, nothing like that.  Why?"


Jakob groans.  "No time to explain.  You...you got any aid stuff?  Parchment, spider glands, stuff..."


Battal then passes out.  Again.

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I'm going to rip your head off with my bare hands.

This both slightly disgusts and relieves me. Logically, I would be relieved. But the method of death seems to fit the main idea of an inhumane execution. Edited by KidneyBeanBoy
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Yeah you do. The meat you are made of is made from a pig's head.

no it's not lol read my bio


I'd suggest taking him out of the fridge and watching him slowly rot. Much more fitting.

no lol i don't rot


Doesn't matter.

uehueheuh watcha gonna do

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no lol i don't rot

uehueheuh watcha gonna do

Everything has an expiration date. Trees, creatures even the universe will dissapear eventually. It's a simple fact. Thankfully, we live long enough that there really isn't any need to complain.

Holy **** that was dark.

Edited by KidneyBeanBoy
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Everything has an expiration date. Trees, creatures even the universe will dissapear eventually. It's a simple fact. Thankfully, we live long enough that there really isn't any need to complain.

Holy **** that was dark.

not me

I'm alive, thus I can't spoil. I CAN'T DIE FROM AGE EITHER LOLOLOL

ok let's stop derailing

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