jonyi Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 I decided to write a story about adventure mode Hope you like it, and please give me some feedback Chapter 1I had it all… I was king in a world created by myself, but I wasn’t the highest ruler. I still had to answer before my so called friends: The shadows… I wasn’t allowed to leave; I was a prisoner Recently I discovered a way to release myself of this prison! I created a portal (some call it a door) to the world I habited… But They found out, and I spent 2 weeks in pure agony as a punishment. But 2 weeks is a lot of time to think, and soon I thought of a way I could escape! I had to build the door. But the door couldn’t lead directly to me! So I made 5 more worlds. They (the shadows) would think that I was just messing with my victims, and when They do find out what my real plans are, I will be already free!! I made three first possible worlds. One where’s eternally winter; another where the weather is always cloudy with a high possibility of precipitation; and an archipelago, full of dangers and beauty. The fourth world was a peaceful and tempting land, but I knew my victims wouldn’t stop. In the fifth world Day never comes, so it’s eternally night. It’s harder to find food and the pieces. The sixth world is my world, the world where I’m prisoner. I can leave for brief moments, but at a terrible cost… Every time I leave They hurt me in ways I didn’t think were possible! There was only one way that allowed advance to a new world: they had to assemble a machine, whose parts are hidden, somewhere in the land.So I did it all… But so They wouldn’t get suspicious I had to perform! I would act like I don’t want them to advance to the next world. I would pretend that the fourth world was an attempt of persuading them to live in that world forever, when actually I know they would never do that, because they hate me, as I hate Them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poldur Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 It is a bit short to give you real feedback but it is pretty good because it is a good description of the Mode and why Maxwell would act as he does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonyi Posted July 16, 2013 Author Share Posted July 16, 2013 I have more, I just wanted to give you a sample first, to see if you like it or not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zomnat Posted July 17, 2013 Share Posted July 17, 2013 moar moar moar moar moar moar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poldur Posted July 17, 2013 Share Posted July 17, 2013 Yes, I want more of your Story as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonyi Posted July 17, 2013 Author Share Posted July 17, 2013 (edited) Chapter 2The first one to find the door was a scientist. A gentleman, may I add. He was smart and elusive; a perfect candidate! His name was Wilson Percival Higgsbury.He slowly opened his eyes, just to see me in front of him. I decided to tease him a little. “Oh, You found my portal did you? You’d think you would have learned your lesson by now. Hmm. Let’s try something a little more challenging, shall we?” I said.He got up to see nothing but snow around him. I thanked Them for giving me the power of listening to other peoples thoughts. Where Am I? Why as the winter came if this is only day one? This must be the “a little more challenging” part he was talking about…He looked back and saw a backpack. He picked it up and analyzed it. It had soma grass, a heat stone, some logs and an axe. He immediately started to chop down trees, because he knew he had to build a campfire, or we would freeze to death. He placed the heat stone next to the fire and waited for it to be completely charged. While waiting he decided to trap some rabbits for some rabbit earmuffs. He made the earmuffs and returned to the campfire just in time, because he was starting to freeze. He picked the heat stone, and left. Meanwhile, another victim was about to find my door… Now I just had to join them. That way it would be easier for them to find me. This one was a female. Her name was Willow and she had a strange power… She could create fires out of nothing but air.She entered the portal… it took her to the same world Wilson was at. Wilson was searching for a place to set camp when suddenly he saw a woman appear next to him. She was passed out. He ran and hid himself behind a tree. Not much time after I appeared in front of her. I told the same I told the other one and then left. She was still trying to get up when Wilson appeared from behind the tree. He walked slowly towards her. She opened her eyes and saw a skinny and dirty hand. It belonged to a man (Wilson). He helped her to get up. “Who are you ?”Willow asked “My name is Wilson Percival Higgsbury and I’m a scientist.” Edited July 17, 2013 by jonyi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonyi Posted July 17, 2013 Author Share Posted July 17, 2013 please give me feedback Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blewcheese Posted July 17, 2013 Share Posted July 17, 2013 I love it! Can't wait to se how Wilson reacts with willow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonyi Posted July 18, 2013 Author Share Posted July 18, 2013 If you want me to post more, let me know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blewcheese Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Do I have to scream it to the world? Yes I want more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonyi Posted July 18, 2013 Author Share Posted July 18, 2013 Does anybody else want for me to post more ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poldur Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Yes, I would like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonyi Posted July 18, 2013 Author Share Posted July 18, 2013 Chapter 3They decided that two people had better chances of surviving than one, so they teamed up, just as I wanted them to do. Wilson and Willow spent half an hour talking, but suddenly he froze. He stopped walking and stopped talking. Willow noticed what was happening and ran back to Wilson. He was pale and looked scared. He lift his arm and pointed at a faraway mountain. Except that wasn’t a mountain. Mountains don’t have horns, hoofs or a giant eye in the middle of its face. It was moving! It was a living being and it was heading their way. They had to move, but Wilson wasn’t walking, and she was too weak to carry him, so she did the only thing she could think of. She burned his hand. He screamed, slowly looked at his hand and then at Willow. “Sorry” she said“It’s okay. It worked!” he said with a smile in his face“We have to go” she saidHe nodded, agreeing with her. They had to go, unless they wanted to be squashed by a giant walking mountain. The beast was called Deerclops. It has the power to destroy everything that stands in its way. They started to run as fast as they could, but it wasn’t fast enough. It was getting closer… Suddenly Willow had an idea. She grabbed Wilson’s arm and ran to the forest.“Why did you do that?” Wilson asked with a confused face“Wait a second! And stay behind me…” Willow said with little flames in her eyesWilson did what she ordered. Without warning whatsoever she ignited herself on fire completely and, surprisingly, without harming herself. How can she do that?! –Wilson thought – She has some strange powers…She started to catch on fire any nearby trees, thereby creating an impenetrable wall of fire. They were safe, at least until the fire catches them. Deerclops turned around and disappeared. Willow ran into the fire and, somehow, “absorbed” the fire. Wilson was stupefied! It had worked. Without even thinking he ran to Willow and hugged her. She pushed him away from her.“What was that for?” Wilson said“Y-you hugged me…” Willow said with a scared voice“And?!” he said looking at Willow“Don’t ever do that again!” she ordered looking awayHe obeyed without questioning. She obviously had some troubles. Of course I knew the cause to this situation. Poor girl… It must have been hard on her to lose her parents like that. Of course I have the lost the ability to feel anything but pain in a long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zomnat Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 aaahhhh! we need morezomnat: don't leave us hanging!ramona: c'mon man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonyi Posted July 18, 2013 Author Share Posted July 18, 2013 If you want more just let me know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonyi Posted July 19, 2013 Author Share Posted July 19, 2013 Anybody ? If you want me to post more of this story, just reply to this and I will post it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poldur Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Of course we want it, you don't have to ask every time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blewcheese Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Agreed. More more more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonyi Posted July 19, 2013 Author Share Posted July 19, 2013 Chapter 4Night came and they set camp in a clearing, in the middle of a forest. It was perfect. They had space and the protection the trees provided. They had killed a few, what they call, rabbits on their way, so now they had food. I, evidently, knew the real name of those insignificant rodents. They are called jackalopes. They’re identical to rabbits, but have small antlers growing out of their head. They’re relatively small, but they give good amounts of meat. Anyway, Wilson and Willow were sitting around the campfire cooking the food they had picked. Wilson was still questioning himself about Willow. Willow, seeing the concern in Wilson’s eyes, decided to ask.“What’s troubling your mind?”“Nothing you should concern yourself with…” he answered. He turned around and fell asleep.Morning came, and with it the will of figuring out a way of escaping that god forgotten world. They decided to assemble a machine Wilson had found in a book before being trapped by me. Says the book that the machine as the power to transport someone to another world. He had seen a part of that machine in a hill, before finding Willow. He forgot where the hill was, but they decided to head West. They were walking for no more than an hour when reached an area of great danger: the swamp. They didn’t know what to do… Should they try to run across it or should go around it? “I think you should go for it!” I said, appearing right next to them.“You?!?” they said, in chorus“Yes me! And you should hurry. Night’s almost here and Charlie gets very playful at night time!” I said, right before vanishing into the ground.“You bastard” Willow said, but I had already disappeared “If we want to get to a safe place to spend the night we should get going” Wilson said, trying to calm her down“Okay” She saidThey started to run, dodging the tentacles that emerged from the ground. Wilson looked right and saw an almost destroyed pig house. “We can spend the night there” He said pointing at the grass around the house.They were getting closer when, suddenly, the door of the pig house opened, but the creature exiting the house wasn’t a pig… It was some sort of mutants. It was similar to the pigs, but it was green and had gills on the side of its head. It was coming their way. Wilson started to run, followed by Willow. The creature was fast, but they were faster. They lost him, but now they were in the middle of the swamp, and had to build a fire because night was coming. “We have to stop” Wilson informed“Why’s that?” Willow asked perplexed“Because night’s coming and we have to make a fire”“No we don’t…” she said with a mysterious smileWhat do you mea…?” He was interruptedWillow was no longer a human being. She was a human torch. “Follow me” she saidThey dodged mosquitos, frogs and tentacles and, eventually, managed to get out of the swamp. Just in time to see the sun rise. They were safe, for now…Please give some feedback ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geni0529 Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 that was awsome !!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonyi Posted July 19, 2013 Author Share Posted July 19, 2013 thanks c: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonyi Posted July 22, 2013 Author Share Posted July 22, 2013 Anyone wants more ? o.0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonyi Posted July 28, 2013 Author Share Posted July 28, 2013 no one ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CREU Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 me , wilow OP lol, nice story! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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