update questioner246 Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 hello! this is my first Don't Starve story i will post the first part and if you like it i will post the second part and so forth. hope you enjoy! pt.1the noise from the ground grows louder the closer i get to it,but i NEED the amulet, i know what will happen when i try to grab it. i just can't do it, i slump to the ground, i NEED the amulet... A-HA! my fishing rod! this will be risky i know that, but i have to try. i position myself right in front of the amulet and cast, DANG! to far! i reel in and try again.Time seems to go in slow motion as the line fly's ... Time goes back to normal as the line lands on the amulet and the tentacle burst through the soft ground and i black out... what did you think? Link to comment https://forums.kleientertainment.com/forums/topic/12194-my-story/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarovSoap Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 It lacks pretty much everything. Who is talking, where are they, why/how did they get there? Link to comment https://forums.kleientertainment.com/forums/topic/12194-my-story/#findComment-112814 Share on other sites More sharing options...
update questioner246 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Share Posted March 14, 2013 FINE i'm gone from this fourum... Link to comment https://forums.kleientertainment.com/forums/topic/12194-my-story/#findComment-112884 Share on other sites More sharing options...
a horse inwater Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 i... guess its okay i... kinda like it! Link to comment https://forums.kleientertainment.com/forums/topic/12194-my-story/#findComment-113940 Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormfront Posted March 16, 2013 Share Posted March 16, 2013 not bad I hope you expand on it some more Link to comment https://forums.kleientertainment.com/forums/topic/12194-my-story/#findComment-113960 Share on other sites More sharing options...
toejam Posted March 16, 2013 Share Posted March 16, 2013 HAHA! The exchange:Dude1 - "What do you think?"Dude2 - "I think its not done."Dude1 - "Screw it, Bye."...Stories need a Beginning, Middle, and End. This is part of a good Middle. Link to comment https://forums.kleientertainment.com/forums/topic/12194-my-story/#findComment-113988 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarovSoap Posted March 16, 2013 Share Posted March 16, 2013 HAHA! The exchange:Dude1 - "What do you think?"Dude2 - "I think its not done."Dude1 - "Screw it, Bye."...Stories need a Beginning, Middle, and End. This is part of a good Middle.They asked for feedback so I gave it to them. I was just being honest. Link to comment https://forums.kleientertainment.com/forums/topic/12194-my-story/#findComment-114068 Share on other sites More sharing options...
toejam Posted March 16, 2013 Share Posted March 16, 2013 That's the best kind of feedback ! Link to comment https://forums.kleientertainment.com/forums/topic/12194-my-story/#findComment-114150 Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormfront Posted March 16, 2013 Share Posted March 16, 2013 I hope @update questioner246 comes back aside from it needing proper setup its well written and it would be a shame if it goes unfinished... Link to comment https://forums.kleientertainment.com/forums/topic/12194-my-story/#findComment-114156 Share on other sites More sharing options...
kilozombie2 Posted March 16, 2013 Share Posted March 16, 2013 Time doesn't seem to go in "slow motion" when the writing is as fast paced as it gets.Slow down a bit! Feel free to extend things into multiple paragraphs, otherwise it doesn't even seem like you tried. Link to comment https://forums.kleientertainment.com/forums/topic/12194-my-story/#findComment-114157 Share on other sites More sharing options...
a horse inwater Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 HAHA! The exchange:Dude1 - "What do you think?"Dude2 - "I think its not done."Dude1 - "Screw it, Bye."...Stories need a Beginning, Middle, and End. This is part of a good Middle. i know right? Link to comment https://forums.kleientertainment.com/forums/topic/12194-my-story/#findComment-121186 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now