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The Auditor

'Twas the Night Before....

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The Auditor    10



Twas the night before full moon, when all through the base; Many Creatures were stirring, all over the place

Spiders growled in a fearful refrain; And rabbits awaited to be struck in the brain


Wilson and Willow slept sound in their tents; Picking and chopping had left them both spent

Chester panting away by the fire; They hid from darkness by their overnight pyre


Far and away from sun’s first light; A growl from the darkness gave such a fright

The survivalists sprang from their tents in a blink; Wilson confused asked, “What do you think?”


Willow gazed ‘round with a flame in her hand; “It can’t be the hounds. We just killed a fresh band.”

Spears at the ready and log suits cinched tight; They tried to steal secrets from the pitch black night


But before either could do the very next thing; The ground shook beneath their steel booted feet

When they both realized what it was that they faced; They both yelled, “Run away from the base!”


Alas their shared warning didn’t make it in time; For their unspeakable horror  just had arrived


It had antlers which reached right to the sky; and uni-brow resting atop one red eye

It stood taller than trees and wider than crops; It was none other than the dreaded Deerclops!


Not wasting a second not even a half; The Deerclops turned their base into chaff

Chest after chest he crushed into bits; Nothing was spared from the monsterly blitz


All Wilson and Willow could manage to do; Was to sit idly by and watch the damage ensue

All of their hard work was being destroyed! Wilson was sad and Willow annoyed.


Then Wilson paused for a moment to think; And then with a wide smile, a nod, and a wink

He withdrew from his backpack a fist of black grains; Willow’s eyes grew wide and she exclaimed. "Great Plains!"


Wilson explained “I’ll ice the beast when I’m close by…”, and Willow replied, “ and I’ll light the powder and a blow him sky high.”

They raced towards their camp to put their plan into play; Wilson raised his staff and Willow readied her grains


Their unknowing prey continued to plunder; Unaware that his ass would be blown asunder


A blue flash of ice and the beast was froze stuck; Finally, the two had a bit of good luck

Not wasting a second, Willow planted her charge; And a half a step later, the Deerclops fell large


As dawn spread its light over the place that they fought; They saw completely the damage that had been wrought

Not a structure survived, not even a wall; And atop the debris sat a huge red eyeball


So let this be a tale to heed;

If you’re in winter, run to base ‘B'

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CaptainChaotica    4,311

I did one of these last year, although mine was totally different (and almost nobody noticed it because I posted it at the wrong time.  : P)  Can't remember what all happened in it.  But this one is great, 'cos not only does it all rhyme, but it's good advice:  DON'T BE IN BASE WHEN DEERCLOPS SHOWS UP!  Or the _main_ base, anyway.  :)


Posted December 24, 2016

(sorry if this doesn't quite go here, but "off topic" seemed too off-topic and it's not an _actual_ Tale of Life and Death,so...)

'Twas the evening of winter's feast,

And through the wilderness,

Many shadows were stirring,

With a growl and a hiss.

The survivors were huddled all close by their fire

In hopes that warmth would help them not to expire

The critters were snuggled all close in their den,

Hoping that someone would soon take them in.

And I in my cardigan, and some others in tee's

Had just settled in for a long winter's freeze.

When outside of the gates, there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my tent to see what was the matter!

And what to my suspicious eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and two angry jewelled deer!

With a big mangled driver, with stitched eyes and maws,

I knew in a moment it had to be Klaus.

Out came the weapons--the spikes and the spears,

And soon the whole campsite was loud to my ears.

Wigfrid in her helm, and Wolfgang with his coat,

Swarmed in to do battle with this overgrown goat.

Klaus raised his hands, and to our surprise,

There was suddenly lava, near up to our thighs!

Webber got frozen, and Wilson overheated,

While Wes ate popcorn and watched, staying seated.

But soon it was over, and as he faded from sight,

"Winter's curse to you all!  But it's been a good fight."

As the lava then faded, and melting ice freed our boots,

We knew it'd been worth it, because of the loot.


Not perfect I know, but hey, it was spur-of-the-moment.  (Wes was sitting by not because he can't fight, but because I thought it'd be funny to have someone eating popcorn during all this.  Heh.) 

Sorry I didn't get everyone in.  In case anybody was wondering, the "I" telling the story could be any character, but I was thinking Willow 'cos that's who I usually play.  :)


I notice that we both wrote about what was new at the time--you, the upgraded Feastclops with the laser eyeball--me, the Klaus fight and pets.  Heh.


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