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Greetings gentlemen, is your hair all flat and floppy? Are your parental figures questioning your social life? Is your lover not pleased with your hair? Well then the new, the first of its kind, the science infused Alberto Balsam is just for you! Impress the pig women! Surf the swamp tentacles waves! Perform genocide on an island! It's all yours when you use ALBERTO BALSAM'S ULTRA STRONG STYLING GELLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! S-S-S-S-S-S-SCIENCE!

Edited by Wilson P. Higgsbury
SCIENCE!
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