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About ScienceMachine

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  1. The freedom of choice dictates I should let be your choices in writing methods. Personal tastes says otherwise. While you should be able to convey the sense of confusion and delay, it should be something like watching a 1st person view of a coaster ride; you don't feel the hard banks, twists and turns yourself, rather seeing the motions should imply the induced nausea. This is where clever use of descriptors come in. Stories are meant to be engaging, not sickening; a story that's hard to read is going to be a story seldom read by many. But that's just me, what happens in the future is all up to you.
  2. As I return back to this, I have to admit, I may have lied about not enjoying reading the character's thoughts. As it turns out, I actually enjoy tidbits about a person's thoughts. Oops.
  3. Not a whole lot you could do, really.
  4. William will fight Albert for that title. (Historical in-joke: William was the forum's original Sweeney Todd because of his resemblance to Johnny Depp's.)
  5. I did the editing in Words and the pasted it on the site. :v And really? I guess there's plenty of character, but I felt it was a bit under par personally. *Shrug* The more you learn.
  6. Time for some William action! Let's start from the beginning ...
  7. Whoa boy, that's a lot to get through. Right, praises aside, thank you for enjoying my writing as much as you have~ I don't think it'd be a stretch to say that Terry Pratchett really brought life back into my writing ability. I was in a rough time in my life and I heard a lot of good things about the Discworld, so during a bi-monthly expedition to a mall, I stumbled on "Guards! Guards!" (or was it Pyramids, I can't remember) at the local bookstore. With nothing else to do, I bought it and opened my eyes something new. And now to the rest. I suppose that now that there's law in place, the Lists have been acting up lately. Before Pork-Moore, there wasn't much of in the ways of laws to begin with, so the Lists merely worked off how Naughty you've been to the system they had. Then Pork-Moore had laws, which interfered with the List's systems. Plus, the whole Krampii organization is now in a full upset, Krampii left and right not really sure what's going on anymore. See, that's the idea I presented @minespatch, I work best when there's an extra ear for me to yell ideas into. I think Pork Moore is definitely a better sounding name and a much better hidden reference to Ankh-Morpork (The working name was Pork-Morankh, which was not as clever.) I'll try to get through the slew of corrections and the like, but I would like to remind you that these blurbs are written on the fly without too much thought. Think of the as Draft 0. I've been told that writing has hideous amounts of drafts that we never get to see, and is why making a book takes such a long time. Now that I've written in this thread, I'll be sure to write a bit on William and his "series". No points guessing who the human was at the founding of Pork-Moore.
  8. You know, Webber wouldn't be so bad if reviving him didn't mean leaving a bunch of goddamn spiders on my doorstep.
  9. I hope you remember to review that only chunk of writing I made. :p

    1. Arlesienne


      Thanks a lot, I've been thinking about it while travelling back home, then got buried under work. Off at once!

      Also, silly thing... This stoooooopid thread you guys wanted as a dare challenge with your OCs... I lost it :wilson_facepalm:

    2. Arlesienne


      Done :). Thanks for a nice read! I can help with proofreading next time.

  10. Are ya just going to leave Max on the ground like that?
  11. Hello, please poke me on Monday to review your Terry-bly Inspired Tales. I've read the first one and want to share my opinion, but have to drive 700 KM first. Thanks in advance!

    1. ScienceMachine


      It's Monday over here. :y, here's your reminder, pal.