Asparagus Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 (Warning, it's long O__O) ... I was server surfing again and found a server that only has 2 slots (the host and some other person), I jumped in as the lag-friendly Wendy (have Abigail take over when I freeze in place) When I entered, I checked who I'm playing with, and to my delight, it was Wes... I chatted him/her up and I got crickets... so I just went about my business getting stuff and making science machines and stuff by day 3 or so... still alone... so I wandered some more and when I headed east, I found Wes, wandering about with a picked-up Feather Hat walking around without anything equipped... I chatted him/her again but still no response... then it dawned on me, maybe they're new to the game so I told them to press "Y" to chat... still nothing... I see him going west where my camp was located... I had already pre-built an alchemy engine and have prototyped most of what I needed so I guess there's no harm in it... The coming morning, I set out to go back to base, having collected 2 spider dens and 8 reeds, and silk for tents and stuff... when I got there, the Wes was standing around making stuff in the Science Machine. He/She (I'll go with "they") made a Piggy Back so I assumed he was not all that new to the game... so I made one too... then I placed the Alchemy engine there since he kept coming back to this place... I recon we could just make that place the base... I chatted him, but he still didn't respond... then, for a split second, I thought I was a donkey's butt for making him talk even though her's "Wes"... then I realized that chat is not disabled for him so I was more annoyed... but for good measure, I asked if we could talk in steam... then he/she responded:Then I realized they were Chinese...(EDIT: I meant can you tell or lead me to beefalo?)(I collected the pig skins from that altar) So after that they started talking in fragmented rudimentary English to my relief... We were ding well enough and I had explored quite a bit finding the pan flute and the pig king... to which they were not sure of... (I told them I found the pan flute but their response could only be described as dismissive... so I kept it...) When I entered the desert and chased after the first tumbleweed I saw, I was gifted with gears (1)... I told him that and he said, "come home now" or something to that tone... I still wanted to explore to find the McTusk camps before winter but I obliged... I had stocked up on gold so we had no trouble making the icebox... At this point, we stuck together... north of the base, we found some tracks to which I took point and inspected them... it lead us to the Spider/Rocky areas filled with boulders lay... we tracked down a Summer Koalefant... Since we were already there, we had a non-verbal agreement that we should harvest more spider loot and rocks and so we ventured... I gave him a log suit as he forgot to make one... We relied on Abigail for the most part since I had 350+ ping so I had difficulty kiting more than one spider at a time... We had gathered a lot and we were ready to move west of the spiders to explore another desert (without the dragonfly) but he wanted to destroy 2 the tier-3 spider dens we had just "vacated"... It was refreshing to see people not destroying tier 1-2 dens for a change so I cooperated... we got them and moved a little ways west... what we found there was Chester's Eyebone! As per usual, I let them take the Eyebone but they were reluctant... so I took it and Chester spawned... we backtracked to the base... then dusk fell... the spiders came and they were chasing Wes! I quickly intercepted the spiders with Abigail in tow, the sounds of their screams summoned more of their brethren... I was dodging as best I could and the log suit served its purpose... We took care of the stragglers that Abigail didn't engage... she had no trouble with them... but just when we thought we were in the clear, the spiders pushed her a bit toward a tier-2 den and out came 4 spider warriors. I was alarmed and I knew I had to deal with them to protect Abigail... Wes was battling one of them and some other spiders came out from their dens and targeted him... he died soon after... Abigail finished them off and he immediately bolted towards the base... where the altar was... I didn't want him to use up this emergency revival item and so I made him come back with an "I can revive you, come back"... I spammed him with it... I then Equipped my log suit and braced myself for the health reduction from making a Tell-tale heart... he was revived... We were living well, with a tent (which I never used, *deactivate bragging*), he razed a few trees to make charcoal enough for 2 crockpots, I built a lightning rod among others... when winter was about to come, I asked him again where the beefao are... I guess he (I'll just use him... referring to "Wes") didn't know... where they were so I took some bacon and eggs, (while he still made meatballs) and ventured out to find the beefalo savannas... but then winter came... good thing I had made a heat stone in advance... along with pre-building a tent, firepit, science machine and chest... when I got there, a day later (Piggy Backs are heavy...) I encountered them... in heat... I had to tread carefully... I found a suitable spot, a small "bridge" shaped like a cone, with savanna turf on it... I placed my fire pit, a tent, a science machine, a chest and a sign saying "Aspa's Beefalo Camp. Beware of Beefalo in heat"... yes, it was a ****** bag move to put my name on it, but at this point, I wanted to leave proof of something I did... I then planted birch trees around as I didn't have pine cones... I forgot them at the base... I prototyped a razor and waited for nightfall... I equipped my log suit... I shaved the herd as fast as I could and I readied myself for them waking up... they chased me into the darkness and the torch I held was a godsend... I did commit an error though, I was almost freezing and had to come back to base to light the fire pit and the beefalo followed me there but stopping short to a safe distance... A few seconds passed and I realized that Abigail was not around when I was shaving them... I backtracked... and found Abigail's flower surrounded by meat, beefalo hair and 3 Beefalo Horns!! I exclaimed to myself and clapped for Abigail's sacrifice... I went to gather them headed back to the camp... I proceeded to prototype a beefalo hat and lived in peace with the beefalo and shaved and picked up more beefalo wool for a day, then I went back to base... I neglect to say that I had already disconnected a few times during all of this because of my infamous internet connection... As I went back to base, I handed him 8 beefalo wool and 1 beefalo horn... he then takes his time and eventually makes a winter hat... I gave him more beefalo wool and told him that the Beefalo hat would be warmer... in a kinda surprised and intense sounding chat message and to which he obliged and built one and replied with "ok?" I was feeling sheepish for that... we went to explore the world... me giving chester to him... I found a wormhole just east of the base that directly leads to the one McTusk camp in the forest/grasslands... Abigail took point lead and I supported, she went after McTusk leaving me with the hounds... I had to anticipate 5 second-delays to time my attacks and dodges which were successful... Next was chasing after McTusk and Abigail... he went far from his camp and was now on auto-return (walking) to which I took the shot (or strike) and stun-locked him into dropping a Tam-o'-Shanter, blowdart, and meat... no tusk to my dismay... meanwhile, I get an announcement that he was killed by tentacles... to which I asked him to go back to base so I could revive him... and then a notification that he used the altar in the swamps... O__O I trudged through the snow with a heavy Piggy Back to base wearing the Tam... we cooked, healed, made a habitable dwelling... and all I was missing was and ice staff... Rabbits were abundant nearby and had no trouble collecting 4 rabbits (except me getting disconnected multiple times) I built the Prestohat- Prestohatita- the Top Hat Magic Thingy and proceeded to make an ice staff... now he was following my suggestions and so I thought that it was time to hunt for more McTusk... I came back to the McTusk Camp and he has already respawned (a few days passed)... I dealt with the hounds so Abigail engaged them too to which I would freeze McTusk and since Wes was close enough to him, he would get the cue to hit him... but then Abigail went after McTusk leaving me with the hounds and freeing him to which Wes made chase... After killing thee hounds, I got disconnected, I came back and McTusk was lost somewhere in the adjacent Spider Forest... Wes was in no shape to go there and it was dusk... I got disconnected again, and when I came back:The mark of death is seen in the upper left corner... and Chester is dead, dropping all of his loot... he destroyed the fire pit soon after... I couldn't move... Abigail engaged and fought valiantly but she eventually succumbed, to which my response was the ice staff... he froze... I got disconnected and when I came back, the Deerclops was ravaging the spiders and tearing down trees and he was dead... I revived him, I gave him the pan flute, he played it... without any enemies around... I /facepalm -ed and went ahead and explained what that does... I made another fire pit where the first one was destroyed... we were safe for now... but for how long? We were settling for the evening, still in the McTusk Camp I chatted him multiple times to use the pan flute when the deer clops comes but I guess the language barrier was too strong... so I asked to have it back... Me: Give me the fluteMe: The fluteMe: The rare item...Me: the musicMe: the flute!! And at that moment, the ground was shaking... Me: FLUTE!!ME: GIVE!!ME: FLUTE!! *gives me FLINT* The Deerclops came around and I was stuck... the mark of death was on me... there was no escape, he was first to fall... I perished and became a ghost... he apologized but before I had the chance to say "It's OK, it's not your fault" or even, "HAHAHA, no prob XD" to at least lift his spirits and to show there's no bad blood, I got disconnected... I couldn't find his server anymore... now I must carry the burden for all eternity......... or at least until I go to bed... O__O I guess I should have said "pan flute"... Random server surfing is dangerous to your psyche...Still gonna do it again though O__O (sorry/not sorry for the long post) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derpime Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Maybe if you said:"GIVE ME THE PAN FLUTE"He willl give you a pan and flint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T4T3RGR3NAD3R Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 A brilliant tale of adventure, romance, and tragedy.420/69 Would starve again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daymarish Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Write a book. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzisor Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 @Asparagus, could I please get the narrated version of this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asparagus Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 Write a book. @Asparagus, could I please get the narrated version of this? I'll call it "Asparagus' Chronicles: Curse of the Poor Internet"(jk) But sure, I'll just edit this, if you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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