FanFiction: Guula Foods, Inc.

[g5457s]

In an asteroid named Epyaxa is one of several factories owned by a company called Guula Foods Inc. It is best known for its cheap and famous Guula Bar, noted for its taste and earthy undertones. Some love it for its stomach-churning attributes. For just $1, one can buy a wrapped Guula Bar containing 800kcal of energy and nutrients, enough to satisfy a meal!

Guula Foods has been instrumental in helping many poverty-stricken parts of the universe by providing cheap, all-natural and recycled food. It also has been praised for its continuing efforts in ending hunger and resolving various food crises. Its secret to making its famous Guula Bar is its workforce.

The process into making Guula Bars is a relatively cheap, yet rather difficult method. It involves mushing together any material with any liquid. Once the mush is finished, it is supercooled to -165C (108.5K, -265F) to destroy harmful organisms. Once all harmful organisms are destroyed with cold, unforgiving vengeance, the mush is heated to room temperature. It then undergoes a 21-stage purification process until it reaches an edible state. This is in the form of a compressed, gelatinous, non-newtonian cuboid that is green in color. The cuboid is then wrapped in an attractive package, where it is then shipped to its customers and clients. Unfortunately, because I have zero skills in drawing stuff, the package can't be seen.

 

 

 

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You may stop reading here. This next part may not be suitable for some people.

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Humans and most alien species are too fragile and delicate for such a difficult and dangerous process, especially the supercooling, so Guula has contracted Gravitas to produce 1,500 duplicants for the workforce. That is about 150 per factory. However, the result is failure after failure, as most of them died under extreme conditions. Those that survived either destroyed the equipment, ate all the Guula Bars or puked all over the place as if the product is BAD. Over 10,000 duplicants died. Then something interesting happened. Two duplicants that managed to escape death were left alive in prison-like conditions, producing mush bars without rest under extreme circumstances. When pushed to the breaking point, one of them simply cried his heart out while the other destroyed the Microbe Musher. The one that destroyed the musher is killed while the one that cried is left alive. And boy is that duplicant special.

Guula is also quite fortunate to have that one living, crying duplicant, as according to Gravitas, he is close to the most ideal duplicant, marred only by a Narcoleptic tendency. In fact, he is so good, even Gravitas is quite surprised that such a duplicant came into existence. They even wonder how the printing pod was able to print such near-perfection. He is given a codename: Scrunbo.

 

As a result, another batch of 1,500 duplicants were printed, based heavily on Scrunbo. All of them are 4 different types of males, named Max, Joshua, Hassan and Abe.

 

These duplicants are split into 10 factories, each having 150 workers. The factory layout is simple - a nearly symmetrical square structure in a ruined asteroid. A thick bunker wall prevents pesky space rocks from causing damage.

 

The 150 duplicants working in each factory are given a lifetime supply of Oxygen (around 300,000,000kgs per tile), sleeping quarters, dining areas and complimentary Guula Bars as food and compensation. Each factory produces around 250,000~350,000kcal of mush bars per cycle, though around 165,000 of it is eaten by the duplicants.

The factory is divided into two areas. The upper area is where duplicants rest, sleep and have their downtime. To help with raising morale, Guula contracted an artist by the name of HVWW to decorate the factories.

 

The lower area is where they work. The area to the east is where the liquid is delivered. It is not just water though. Even duplicant messes are used to produce Guula Bars, which is the reason why there are no bathrooms in the factory. This saves a little bit of resources, as duplicants produce messes at more than twice the water they consume. Because of the supercooling and 21-stage purification process, there are no harmful microorganisms or toxic biological waste.

 

These duplicants are constantly stressed to their breaking point due to the extreme conditions they work in. And as expected, they simply cry under stress. Just like Scrunbo, they are still alive, surviving, sort of thriving and crying in 300,000,000kgs of Oxygen pressure per tile at -165C (108.5K, -265F). Even their tears have a purpose though it is not for making Guula Bars. According to CEO of Guula Foods, Inc. Mike T. Egelska, "...Their tears will bring the company into newer ventures and a much brighter future."

The purpose of duplicant tears remains undisclosed.

 

Finally, each factory has an overseer known as the Sky Blue Cipher. It is responsible for the lives of the workers, giving them their work schedule, helping clean up messes, brings material for mush, maintains some aspects of the factory, and more.

And that is how Guula Bars are produced. At the back of the wrapper, it is even said to be "Made by the happy workers of Guula Foods, Inc. Guaranteed 100% worker satisfaction!"

 

"Please....... Help....... Me.............. I am... begging............ you. Please... help...... them. Their....... pain, their agony........ Free them........... please..................."

[he77789]

Why doesn't the water and waste freeze in -165C?

[g5457s]

They're supposed to, but there is a weird bug that causes hundreds of millions of kilograms of solid CO2 to appear out of nowhere, which causes dupes to get stuck or entombed when I'm AFK-ing. I had to increase the temperature from 120K to 270K to prevent the CO2 from solidifying and killing the dupes, therefore making them work with 100% satisfaction for much longer.

[Xenologist]

Harsh. Why don't you get a more pampered factory in a thriving asteroid, making only the most high quality bbq ever, with more than 200 percent worker satisfaction

[g5457s]

I'll make one maybe in the next upgrade. This one is about a giant food corporation with shady labor practices.

[Maxposting]

As Mae started disliking...

[DragonMage156]

Poor dupes. All they want is a toilet and more hygienic living conditions >u<;;

[Xenologist]

On 8/19/2018 at 11:01 PM, g5457s said:

I'll make one maybe in the next upgrade. This one is about a giant food corporation with shady labor practices.

It's the next two updates(?)

 

Spoiler

It's the time to do this

 

[g5457s]

Thousands of cycles have passed (actual in-game: 48) and the workers are still DELIGHTFULLY making Guula Mush Bars! Then one cycle, there is a DROP in worker satisfaction. The workers are ever so slightly less satisfied, but why?

(In Thereminese): "A large space object is heading our way, ETA 120 seconds. We're doomed."

While a few workers are crying, fearing for their lives, most cheered in euphoria, as their work is finally coming to an end...

 

News of the ruined factory spread quickly.
"We are saddened by the loss of one of our factories and our team of duplicant of workers..." said Guula Bars, Inc. CEO Mike T. Egelska in a ThNN news channel interview.
"The protection of our nine other factories will be significantly improved immediately!"

The factory isn't the biggest loss though. The progenitor of the modern duplicant is the greatest loss. Codename: Scrunbo happens to be one of the workers of this factory. No duplicant or any living being can survive such a disaster.

A team of surveyors are sent to the ruined factory to examine and scour whatever is left.

 

That is my sad attempt at building a starship :))

 

They did the best they can, but there is very little to salvage. The destruction is way too much...

 

However, they were quite surprised that one of the workers miraculously survived the catastrophe.

 

However, the mission is not a failure. In fact, it was a huge success, because the surviving duplicant happens to be Codename: Scrunbo. How he survived a disaster of epic proportions remains unknown to this day. But one thing's for sure, more duplicants of superior quality can be printed, now that the progenitor is retrieved safe and sound.

 

In the next fanfiction, Codename: Scrunbo cheated death and has a new lease in life! He is sent to the Eulavi* Asteroid where he is informed that some of his countless descendants live in peace and prosperity, compared to the bitter harshness of the Guula Mush Bar Factory. How will he live his new, hopefully less stressful life? I dunno. :))

 

Edit: Forgot to add this:

For thousands of cycles, we were forced to produce disgusting, diarrhea-incuding mudslop with little to no rest. Food poisoning and diarrhea is rampant. The place reeks of urine and feces. Our tears is the only source of adequately clean water fit for consumption, so we had to cry our hearts out just to lessen the pain even just a little. When we heard a comet is about to smash into the factory, we were all are happy because our suffering will finally come to an end. But...

Why am I still alive? It hurts so much... I can't move... Why... This isn't fair! Why must I live while everyone has died?!!!