Recommended Posts

Extant    256
Posted (edited)

Survivor's log, day 1xxx.

It was a soggy afternoon and I was sitting around my base thinking about what to do this Spring. As my world was old, I had long since done basically everything there was to do. Dragonfly was still in the process of returning from her slumber, Bee Queen had long since lost my attention (as I was simply interested in the bundling wrap blue print), and it was a while before the next new moon.

There was, of course, m00se geese in my world but I still had a lot of weather pains sitting around my home. I had finally decided upon venturing into the rocky biome to take the remaining turf left there to mold into some cobblestone for the rest of the biome my humble abode took space in. Suddenly... I hear a distinctly unpleasant squishing noise and spy a green tint at the corner of my eyes. But of course, tis Spring. What kind of Spring would deprive any player of the joy and happiness that is frog rain?

Already having informed myself of where the m00se geese took residence within the world this year, I grabbed my trusty Krampus sack and shoved off to the nearest nest. Being the generous person I am, I graced the m00se Goose and her family with my presence and that of the frogs. Now, of course, kids will be kids and the moslings didn't much care for the somewhat aesthetically unappealing frogs. With injured souls, but their hearts in the right place, the frogs decided to break the ice by offering them an innocent kiss.

Little did they realize that the Mother had took this act of peace-making as a sign of war. Literally the opposite of what the frogs had intended to do so! Seeing their allies fall to what can only be described as the Holy Grail of all that is Canadian, the frogs leaped to the fray in retaliation with great remorse! After a heated struggle, the frogs had emerged victorious, yet sad.

Feeling sorry for their social mishap, I took it upon myself to lead them to another family that would surely be more open-minded with their antics. Another m00se Goose group to say hello to! Well, surprise, surprise, the end result became the exact same as the prior encounter. Frogs say hi to moslings. Moslings ignore them. Frogs just want attention... Mother m00se/Goose doesn't like what she sees. Epic social interactions! One less byproduct of Canada to be seen in the world...

I began to think hard about how to handle this situation. Two m00se geese had proved insufficient in quelling the lonely nature of the frogs. Naturally, what better company than some friendly, adorable rabbits? Onward, I said! To the wondrous world of Alice and the bunnymen! Thirty extra fluffy rabbits to have fun with! Now, play nice I told the bunnymen. They didn't seem all that interested in the frogs, much akin to how the moslings acted. This incited the rage within and the frogs could contain it no more! Everything... must... suffer! The unspeakable horrors that ensued. If I were to describe what occurred, this story could not be considered PG-13.

My entire vast kingdom of thirty bunnymen... all had perished in a night's worth. Having witnessed such terrible sights, I could take no more and retreated into the caves. Above me, they still sounded. Squish, squish, squish... 'come pay with us' they said... 'it will all be fine' they said... 'we won't hurt you'. I had known better by now. To ashes with the upper world! The sun only amplifies what terror goes on in this crazy land of science and magic! I would rather stay down in the dark depths with my imaginary shadow friends and the earthworm Jims of this world. I would rather say hello to the primordial lifeforms that would eat me within a cycle's notice than say hello to those monsters...

Once my ears could detect their existence no more, I carefully re-surfaced to see the green pastures once more. Littered across the nests and the bunny village were hundreds of pieces of meat. An assortment of frog legs, drumsticks, meat, and carrots to top it all off. Being rather hungry from this excursion, I began lifting them up one by one. Tallying the total of the fallen souls, I came to the conclusion that the number of causalities mounted to the following amount.

2 m00se geese, 30 bunnymen, and 390 frog legs...

I knew for a fact that not all the frogs that had appeared from this storm fell in combat. If I had to fathom a guess, I would say the army consisted of over 500 frogs. And that is my story of how I got frog rain for four days in a row and ended up obtaining enough meat to the point where, several hundred days later, I'm still eating them.

Plz, Klei, no more f00d. Poor little Wundy can't eat it all. I just want to work on my base... plz, hab merci.

Edited by Extant
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this