Your best Griftlands stories!

[AYellowShadeOfB]

We've got a thread for memes and crazy screenshots.

But we haven't gotten a thread for fun stories!

 

Let me start this off, with Smith suddenly getting 2000 IQ.
 

The day is Smith 2. Andwantette is the suitor chosen.

So, Hanbi needs to be deal with, and Ashnitho is looking into the situation too.
Well, I talk with Ashnitho and get the cheese back. Then I say, hey, I'll entrap Hanbi with you.
Well, I go to Hanbi then, with an ulterior motive or two. I convince him that Andwantette has more work, and then he asks who has to die... and I pick Ashnitho.

I go straight to the training facility to pick up a luminitiate. Next time I meet Hanbi, Ashnitho is dead, and he asks for payment... well, I've got payment for sure:  DEATH! During the fight, the witness, Lumax the luminitiate dies, but I finish off Hanbi too.

In essence, I just got a fake reason to talk to Hanbi, eliminated a loose end with him, then got him to eliminate the witness before being killed.
And nobody can suspect Smith - there was a reason to talk to Hanbi, Hanbi came to Ashnitho because "he figured out the trap" and then Hanbi was murdered in a scene where it looks like a luminitiate fought him, and both died.

And Smith's off to do the rest of the job!

[ResettePlayer]

one time during a Rook run Ekel was about to murder some random pal of mine, so I beat her up to save him, regular stuff. Then, leaving the random oppo area to go continue whatever actual quest I was doing, I got a random encounter with a labourer looking for some shills. The labourer was Ekel. Like, just a few steps from where I shot her a bunch of times she's just like "hey man the barons aren't hiring today" and well, Ekel, maybe they don't want to hire you because you were beating the hesh out of one of their taskmasters five minutes ago.

I gave her the shills.

[Prismaux]

I had a really lucky Rook run due to Master Chip once: 

In the Flead Queen battle I improvised a lumin grenade courtesy of master chip. Suddently, things were looking very dire- my allies were either going to die or take a very strong beating, me included, from the Queen's Spine Storm. Then, when it looked like I was going to get booted to the score screen, the grenade cycled back into my hand, and using it I managed to kill all of the six larvae that the Queen had just birthed. BOOM! Next thing I know I have like 8 of the tiny stinger cards in my hand. It was ridiculous. I managed to kill the Queen by just spamming the 0 cost stingers over and over again.
Much later in the run, I was in the bog excursion part where you can betray either Fellemo or Kalandra. I betrayed Fellemo, and after a VERY harsh  battle, I was down to a measly 3 health. I sighed and thought I might I was well give the Glofriam battle a try. I had absolutely no expectations going in with 3 health, but then a small miracle happened; after starting the battle Master Chip gave me the option to improvise a Healing Salve- Was I in the clear? I used the salve, and to my surprise, due to Kalandra's boon, the salve got played twice. I got a (relatively) whopping 20 health. A couple of spare Bog Scimitars later I was back to close to full health. Master Chip was the powerhouse of this run.