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The Optimus Pine Experiments


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DISCLAIMER: This post contains spoilers and replies will likely follow suit. Please press the "back" button on your browser if you prefer to figure these things out for yourself!

And now I will proceed, FOR SCIENCE! :)

Subject: The beasts known as "treeguards", oft times called "Optimus Pine".

Hypothesis: It is known already that playing a pan flute in proximity to the creatures induces a docile slumber. My hypothesis is that there is an easier method to appease them.

Justicifcation: Kevin said so :)

The Experiment: I set off in the morning to the location of a treeguard which I had previously calmed with my pan flute. I have left him in an easily discernible location, apart from other trees so as to easily find him for purposes of experimentation. I brought with me (besides standard adventuring necessities) a logsuit - stowed, not donned - my pan flute (for emergencies), and two stacks of pine cones.

I began by agitating the beast with the sound of my axe against the bark of his charges (the trees). He sprung to life and gave chase. It is fortunate that they are so slow, as I was able to keep moving and test a few methods. I first lured him around in circles (otherwise known as "kiting") for several sixteenths of the day, ultimately concluding that he would not back down of his own accord. I then donned my logsuit, to see if he might mistake me for a tree. This, too, bore no fruits. I began planting pine cones and upon the seventh, he fell into his tree-like hibernation. This was an exciting discovery! I replicated the solution twice, noting that each time a different number of newly planted trees were required to placate him. The first, as previously stated, was seven. The second attempt took only one. And the third and final demonstration required not more than four.

Conclusion: It would seem that the treeguards decide arbitrarily how much botanical philanthropy will appease them each time they are awaken, but the evidence speaks for itself.. planting new trees will placate the beasts. It is yet uncertain if the size of each subject affects its demands.

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