Morgan17 Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 (edited) While Jordan was playing Don't Starve a few weeks later, he noticed that everything had changed. Not only there were updates, but his game had seemed glitchier than before. His characters died at random points. Pigmen had acted starngely around him, saying, "HELP ME," when he got close to them instead of running. Jordan was infuriated. He was going to get rid of this mod once and for all. When he got to the mod button, his mouse frozen, as if intentionally preventing him from deleting the mod. When he managed to try and delete the mod, a message popped up:"I can't let you do that." Jordan was startled. Was the mod programmed to prevent him from deleting it? He tried all he could, but at the last try, he got a different message:"Why delete me? The fun is about to begin....for me...." Jordan asked himself who "me" was. But before he could, two words popped up in red:"YOU'RE MINE" Two blood-red arms popped out of the screen and grabbed Jordan, tightening him to his chair. He tried to break free, but nothing happened. The arms tightened around him. A face popped onto the screen. It said a simple sentence, but in a way only the Devil himself could say it."YOU ARE MINE." 15-11 22-19-16-15-10-20 25-9-3 Edited January 13, 2014 by Mack18853 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneyHam Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 They just get creepier and creepier....also, put all your creepypastas in a single thread, maybe titled "Mack's Creepypastas!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan17 Posted January 13, 2014 Author Share Posted January 13, 2014 They just get creepier and creepier....also, put all your creepypastas in a single thread, maybe titled "Mack's Creepypastas!"Good idea....By the way, did you notice the numbers at the bottom? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneyHam Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Good idea....By the way, did you notice the numbers at the bottom?Yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan17 Posted January 13, 2014 Author Share Posted January 13, 2014 Yes.It's a code. When solved it says 'I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneyHam Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 It's a code. When solved it says 'I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU'Cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClayNorman Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 Well, it was pretty good... until you destroyed my immersion and had two arms come out of the screen and grab Jordan. See, with these gaming creepy pastas you gotta keep it seeming real. The mod was believable as someone with the right skill could totally create something like this and that is what was good. The ending was just kind of a cop out at the end like you got lazy and didn't know how to end it. My only suggestions would be to make it a bit longer and keep the cliches to a minimum. And please, no SPOOKY HYPER REALISTIC EYES, MUCH REAL BLOOD, SO WOW, In the next one. Just fix those things and you'll be set for any more you write! 7/10 would read again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan17 Posted January 21, 2014 Author Share Posted January 21, 2014 Well, it was pretty good... until you destroyed my immersion and had two arms come out of the screen and grab Jordan. See, with these gaming creepy pastas you gotta keep it seeming real. The mod was believable as someone with the right skill could totally create something like this and that is what was good. The ending was just kind of a cop out at the end like you got lazy and didn't know how to end it. My only suggestions would be to make it a bit longer and keep the cliches to a minimum. And please, no SPOOKY HYPER REALISTIC EYES, MUCH REAL BLOOD, SO WOW, In the next one. Just fix those things and you'll be set for any more you write! 7/10 would read again.Hm. I see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClayNorman Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Don't take it to offense I actually do like the idea of the whole thing and the build up, it feels really good considering the modding community with the game. And the whole thing about the hyper realistic eyes was a joke at other gaming pastas that use that stuff as you probably know. I did like it man and I hope you make another, I would love to read it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoffeeBoo Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 To make a good creepypasta, no huge amounts of gore. Makes it too cheesy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan17 Posted January 22, 2014 Author Share Posted January 22, 2014 To make a good creepypasta, no huge amounts of gore. Makes it too cheesy.What kind of cheese? Mozzarella or swiss?But I'm serious. I agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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