Advices for people with high-stresslevel and behaviour / gameplay quirks to *function* on multiplayer servers?

[NPCMaxwell]

OK so my first "real time" playing on a multiplayer server today, a with my own character then b with Wilson.

I am 1000 percent overwhelmed so I keep either

getting lost in not knowing what to do

or

feeling the urge to compulsively hurt my character / neglect their needs in favour of running around searching for something specific that I will probably not find or doing stuff like jumping from a boat in winter, holding a torch while it's in the middle of the night

or

repetitively haunting a gift box as a ghost character because it does this funny jump animation and I can't get my mind to do anything else

 

-> basically normal stress behaviour I show more or less in real life too.

(compulsive writing / overthinking would be one of them too, but the chat in DST is very difficult for me to use...since I never look at the keyboard and usually only use ctrl and alt I often can't "find" the y-button end somehow end up to open the minimap which literally turns me blinder then I already am in a normal DS winter, also once I found the y button I feel like having to check the chat since I may have "forgotton" to read something. I think this is rather normal and just has to do with me never using those things in game (same with the map, I usually ignore it despite for finding the floral poster) )

-> Might also have to do with my usual gamplay stile in soloworld being the "compulsively following a very regional area clearing"-approach that gives me almost no room for tolerance...so usually when I do this and I notice I stray from my behaviour I IMMEDIATELY kill my character so I can reset my action queu and start again.

 

BASICALLY what I meant to say:

Any advice how to make me play the game /normal/ without having to follow sudden / repetitive intrusive stimuli as soon as I feel overwhelmed?

Because I noticed that actually the thougt of having more then one character in the world is incredibly FUN!

It's just that so far my trusty solo game companion artifical Wilson doesn't seem to have bothered by any of my quirks and now my brain is extremly scared of being considered a "griefer" by constantly dying from having to follow my terrible patterns.

(seriously please, my overthinking is killing me today.)

(also I have decided to try spending the next hour to practice a completely NORMAL game in a no-mods-besides-custom-character world to PRACTICE playing NORMALLY [aka not following any intrusive behaviour patterns] but so far I feel like it's almost IMPOSSIBLE for me, so I just literally idled myself to death once again from feeling overwhelmed. It seems my brain just can't focus, other then on regular DS where I usually only play a certain pattern-gameplay every now and then, while having a normal functional survival behaviour in most worlds.)

I think I found something that COULD be working as a bridge between my usual DST-area-clearing gameplay pattern and multiplayer without forcing me to fall into repetitive / destructive disfunctional patterns.

-> collecting recourses calms me down

-> most recourses stack

-> so I could basically focus on one specific resource and keep filling my inventory until I happen to spontaniously need something or stumble upon a special item.

-> afterwards continue the specific gather task.

-> when inventory is filled either build a chest or carry the resources back to base.

-> chose next item to collect.

Basically this will keep me busy and calm for a long time, and I can be told to search for something else / collect something else any time.

[chirsg]

I'm not reading all that. You are literally overthinking it. 

 

Do you know what I did in my first 2 weeks of dst with others? I built a boat with 2 other people in the dead of winter, asking them if they wanted to go on a sailing trip. The wendy was gathering enough birdseeds to eat along the way and the other was getting together all the fuel we would need for light and heat. 

 

The boat was built and the sails were facing the shore. As soon as I unfurled it, the boat exploded, chester died, and I was responsible for depleting our small team's resources as well as the collective on the server. 

 

I've also witnessed 20 kelp plants alight in wildfire because I was loaded in during summer.

I continue to play with others.

 

 

If you are that paranoid about your performance, just base on your own. It's really not a big deal.

[NPCMaxwell]

13 minutes ago, chirsg said:

I'm not reading all that. You are literally overthinking it. 

 

Do you know what I did in my first 2 weeks of dst with others? I built a boat with 2 other people in the dead of winter, asking them if they wanted to go on a sailing trip. The wendy was gathering enough birdseeds to eat along the way and the other was getting together all the fuel we would need for light and heat. 

 

The boat was built and the sails were facing the shore. As soon as I unfurled it, the boat exploded, chester died, and I was responsible for depleting our small team's resources as well as the collective on the server. 

 

I've also witnessed 20 kelp plants alight in wildfire because I was loaded in during summer.

I continue to play with others.

 

 

If you are that paranoid about your performance, just base on your own. It's really not a big deal.

Thanks x) It's not actually about my performance, since I know that I CAN function quite well, as soon as I keep sticking to "my task" (e.g. you can tell me to collect something and I will do so until I have filled my inventory or die) and apart from that I actually consider failure very funny (which is why I often destroy / hurt my character on purpose just for the noise they make)

But what I AM worried about is how I become disfunctional as soon as I feel there is "no specific task to do" or no specific area to "clear" / explore or as soon as I simply feel "lost". The problem is I still want to be of some "use" to the others, instead of making my own base. After all, as I said, it's my first time intentionally TRYING to play WITH others (I have even adapted my custom character to be less of a villain then he was intended to be)

13 minutes ago, chirsg said:

I'm not reading all that. You are literally overthinking it. 

 

Do you know what I did in my first 2 weeks of dst with others? I built a boat with 2 other people in the dead of winter, asking them if they wanted to go on a sailing trip. The wendy was gathering enough birdseeds to eat along the way and the other was getting together all the fuel we would need for light and heat. 

 

The boat was built and the sails were facing the shore. As soon as I unfurled it, the boat exploded, chester died, and I was responsible for depleting our small team's resources as well as the collective on the server. 

 

I've also witnessed 20 kelp plants alight in wildfire because I was loaded in during summer.

I continue to play with others.

 

 

If you are that paranoid about your performance, just base on your own. It's really not a big deal.

Anyway if someone had told me to build a boat and so on, I would feel like I DO have a specific task to do and then failure in doing so would have actually been my favourite part of the adventure

15 minutes ago, chirsg said:

I'm not reading all that. You are literally overthinking it. 

 

Do you know what I did in my first 2 weeks of dst with others? I built a boat with 2 other people in the dead of winter, asking them if they wanted to go on a sailing trip. The wendy was gathering enough birdseeds to eat along the way and the other was getting together all the fuel we would need for light and heat. 

 

The boat was built and the sails were facing the shore. As soon as I unfurled it, the boat exploded, chester died, and I was responsible for depleting our small team's resources as well as the collective on the server. 

 

I've also witnessed 20 kelp plants alight in wildfire because I was loaded in during summer.

I continue to play with others.

 

 

If you are that paranoid about your performance, just base on your own. It's really not a big deal.

Anyway I gave you the "thanks" batch because to me this way of playing (building a boat and sailing to your doom, losing everything people have put their hopes in) sounds like top tier fun adventure you could have in this game to be honest.

25 minutes ago, chirsg said:

I'm not reading all that. You are literally overthinking it. 

 

Do you know what I did in my first 2 weeks of dst with others? I built a boat with 2 other people in the dead of winter, asking them if they wanted to go on a sailing trip. The wendy was gathering enough birdseeds to eat along the way and the other was getting together all the fuel we would need for light and heat. 

 

The boat was built and the sails were facing the shore. As soon as I unfurled it, the boat exploded, chester died, and I was responsible for depleting our small team's resources as well as the collective on the server. 

 

I've also witnessed 20 kelp plants alight in wildfire because I was loaded in during summer.

I continue to play with others.

 

 

If you are that paranoid about your performance, just base on your own. It's really not a big deal.

Ha! You're right I've been overthinking. I just realized I have been in permanent stress the WHOLE day already, so basically it's no surprise I am automatically as well overthinking about playing with others (after all this just another form of "socializing" to me, and I am not known to be a very social person.....apart from compulsive writing/reading things/ constantly obsessing about my own thoughts.) I suppose this will fix itsself as soon as I am a little less stressed irl again.

[Anis5240]

Seriously tho, you can ask/tell people on what (you gonna) to do. Even me playing with friends as Wilson, I'm more than happy to just gather stuff or farming. No real pressure.

Have good communication with people.

[NPCMaxwell]

3 minutes ago, Anis5240 said:

Seriously tho, you can ask/tell people on what (you gonna) to do. Even me playing with friends as Wilson, I'm more than happy to just gather stuff or farming. No real pressure.

Have good communication with people.

Yes probably today I was too stressed to really figure out what to do, because it was my first time actually trying to play without a fix "scheme", so I felt kind of clueless since it was just a normal world instead of my usual approach (deciding one of my usual scenarious and then sticking 100 percent to the "gameplay rules" even if it means having to die intentionally when I stray from it)

Tomorrow / in the future I will probably ask what to do, as soon as I get the urge of drowning myself again or scaring a poor wrapped gift box over and over.

 

[Bughead]

Actually can relate to you, I'm also prone to being overwhelmed and worry in dst even if it's with a friend who's very knowledgeable and being (somewhat) patient with me.

Good team playing is communication, as said above. There's nothing that can't be restored or rolled back, but even if it's a "serious" server no one is failure-proof, and it's a story all the same.

Wishing you good luck on your public server adventures!

[asdsaax]

17 hours ago, NPCMaxwell said:

getting lost in not knowing what to do

So this entire post is basically... No idea what to do + multiplayer presence = stress ?
For me it was a matter of realizing few things and preparing a plan for my gameplay!

So when it comes to Don't Starve the most basic goals that come to mind are:
-Rushing specific bosses (Targeting Dfly asap for fun)
-Progressing Fuelweaver/CC events
-Creative projects (Can be as simple as rushing kitchen before Wendy without geometry placement does it)
-Digging up bushes/saplings/grass and farming with Wormwood players (Though learn proper combinations if you share farmlands or cultivate your own plot!)

And keep in mind that:
-No one will judge you as long as you use resources to progress or make something fancy
-People usually don't contribute much themselves and there are a lot of them AFKing on campfire, so any contribution is cool
-People are usually so chill that you can make calls and they will follow (otherwise you can enjoy Klaus loot by yourself. Hrmph!)

Pro tip for fans of ruminating:
Being inefficient with resources is NOT griefing
DST servers are merely temporary digital canvas and there's a lot of resources that are meant to be used!
You would have to drop thulecite in the water to deserve a side eye so... it's okay if you want to fight deerclops with thulecite club
even if some would reserve it for Fuelweaver

Remember it takes a while to get used to the "active playstyle" and to avoid further stress it's important to know
that sometimes the game won't let you chew as much as you can bite, because certain things are RNG dependent

Happy gaming and luvs

[Cackenberg]

I like the advice here. I still haven't played multiplayer with strangers because it makes me stressed, but I want to do it. I do play multiplayer with my friends but they aren't free very often

[NPCMaxwell]

5 hours ago, Lordowsky said:

So this entire post is basically... No idea what to do + multiplayer presence = stress ?
For me it was a matter of realizing few things and preparing a plan for my gameplay!

So when it comes to Don't Starve the most basic goals that come to mind are:
-Rushing specific bosses (Targeting Dfly asap for fun)
-Progressing Fuelweaver/CC events
-Creative projects (Can be as simple as rushing kitchen before Wendy without geometry placement does it)
-Digging up bushes/saplings/grass and farming with Wormwood players (Though learn proper combinations if you share farmlands or cultivate your own plot!)

And keep in mind that:
-No one will judge you as long as you use resources to progress or make something fancy
-People usually don't contribute much themselves and there are a lot of them AFKing on campfire, so any contribution is cool
-People are usually so chill that you can make calls and they will follow (otherwise you can enjoy Klaus loot by yourself. Hrmph!)

Pro tip for fans of ruminating:
Being inefficient with resources is NOT griefing
DST servers are merely temporary digital canvas and there's a lot of resources that are meant to be used!
You would have to drop thulecite in the water to deserve a side eye so... it's okay if you want to fight deerclops with thulecite club
even if some would reserve it for Fuelweaver

Remember it takes a while to get used to the "active playstyle" and to avoid further stress it's important to know
that sometimes the game won't let you chew as much as you can bite, because certain things are RNG dependent

Happy gaming and luvs

I never rush, rushing means stress for me. I would never do that even if someone FORCED me to. Instead I usually center my whole gameplay around a general goal (e.g. clearing the area goal).

OK so basically it is NOT immediatelly bad when I suddenly for reasons that I can only explain with: "Mind getting overwhelmed or stuck at a certain thought" just stand / run around and idle for a while until I focused again? Without it suddenly feeling that my whole existance is pointless and I could as well "stand next/INSIDE an open fire until my character does this x_x".

 

Anyway thanks for another approach to make me calm down again. I have thought of something myself yesterday

 

(the following scenario works perfectly for me in singleplayer DST mode so I should be able to "convert" it to multiplayer)

 

Yesterday night I have made up my mind how to create a server that is as /functional/ to me as possible with the center goal around having to track down ewecus since my ewecus mod requires the use of steelwool in many recipts while still hopefully being possible to play with another person. Second center goal is base building / exploration with small in-between storage bases/chests as it would be in a normal game.

And to prevent stress: with messurements taken to let other creatures do the "area" cleaning and drops generation that I usually focus on task for us, by having random mobs wars from mods spawning creatures and set pieces plentiful all over.

Adjustment for multiplayer:

"converted" it to multiplayer mostly by making the receipt for telltale heart and amulet way easier so we can craft and carry several of them with us.

22 minutes ago, Cackenberg said:

I like the advice here. I still haven't played multiplayer with strangers because it makes me stressed, but I want to do it. I do play multiplayer with my friends but they aren't free very often

So far I have only played with one or two people in a sever because a forum member here asked me a few days ago if I wanted to play, and the other person is a friend of them.

If I hadn't been asked I would still be too scared for multiplayer I fear.

10 hours ago, Bughead said:

Actually can relate to you, I'm also prone to being overwhelmed and worry in dst even if it's with a friend who's very knowledgeable and being (somewhat) patient with me.

Good team playing is communication, as said above. There's nothing that can't be restored or rolled back, but even if it's a "serious" server no one is failure-proof, and it's a story all the same.

Wishing you good luck on your public server adventures!

I would never join a public server with random people though, since this would probably make my brain have a complete breakdown from anxiety.

But that's ok too. After all I probably shouldn't judge myself too much either based on my gameplay when I am on a high-stresslevel the whole day + inomnia struggle leaving me almost sleepless + when I have happened to not taken my medication the past days. Actually I shouldn't have been surprised that it was a guarantee for me also being stressed in-game.

[Uedo]

I'd recommend farming, learn how to consistently make giant crops. Your team will thank you and you'll have fun along the way. Other than that maybe make your primary focus around finishing the CC or AFW questlines. That'll give you a lot to do. 

If you're unsure of what task you should be doing in regards to that, ask someone. 

Maybe the solution is just asking what you should be doing at any given point, if people are too vague tell them to give you a literal task, it's all helping the overall objectives I guess.

[NPCMaxwell]

42 minutes ago, Uedo said:

I'd recommend farming, learn how to consistently make giant crops. Your team will thank you and you'll have fun along the way. Other than that maybe make your primary focus around finishing the CC or AFW questlines. That'll give you a lot to do. 

If you're unsure of what task you should be doing in regards to that, ask someone. 

Maybe the solution is just asking what you should be doing at any given point, if people are too vague tell them to give you a literal task, it's all helping the overall objectives I guess.

Your idea with the farming is a good one, especially since i haven't spend much time with the DST farms mechanic yet, so I may consider this AFTER extremly early game.

But for me the favourite part of every DST world is actually simply the "collecting" / clearing of anything basic starter resources. My usualy GOAL when I play a DST solo world simply is to "take this from the wilderniss and put it into a chest then seeing the area getting less crowded bit by bit" this is literally my main definition of fun. It's the same addiction as seeing a room full of stuff and sorting everything and putting it into boxes or seeing a pile of wood and cutting it into equal pieces for later use, something I can spend hours on having the time of my life.

 

I suppose this is what I mostly should stick to ^^ I have already told the person who i play with that I am usually perfectly fitted to be send looking for and collecting stuff as it will easily keep me busy and mostly calm so I don't suddenly get weird impulsive urges that have no functional purpose. So yes....maybe I could just make a suggestion when I suddenly get the urge of running around aimlessly to find one particular resource, to make sure if the resource is actually currenlty needed so it would feel less weird that i suddenly run around getting myself into danger and turning into a ghost without it seeming to have a reason to those that don't know what in particular I suddenly felt like searching for.

 

in contrast everything having to do with the AFW vs CC is absolutely not the way I play this game so I will just ignore that part of the game entirely usually (generally all this quests and combat stuff is what I don't like about DST in comparison to DS) although I like AFW in particular but more for the shadow theme / the character design then for the role in the game. When it comes to "quests" I only like the interactions with Perl, but mostly I ignore her too.

[Popian]

It sounds like making a checklist of things you want to do would help, which can be updated as you become more familiar with the flow. (e.g. I only really needed x of this resource)

Something to do with completion like prototyping all crafts can remind you of where you're at and what to do next while also learning more about the game.

[Mr Giggio]

Dude the whole thing is about having fun, u loosing when u too concern about how u winning, u will know u winnin when u enjoying what u doing, back to basics

[Evelo]

I am pretty darn experienced and recently started playing with a friend who is completely inexperienced. So what irks me about playing with this friend?

- Not paying attention to your basic needs. Hunger and Health.
              - If your health is low and you don't know how to heal it up, ask for help. Better to ask than to end up dying.

- Not listening
              - If the people you play with have objectives, or tips on how/what to do, Listen. My friend keeps dying to shadow creatures, so I went insane and showed how to handle them, he tried to replicate and practice. Awesome! After some time in base he went insane and just stood there waiting to die and said, "It's faster for you to revive me than to deal with sanity." That really angered me given it is a fundamental skill that needs to be refined if you want to succeed in the game.

Those are my two biggest gripes I have experienced. So as long as you are keeping awareness and actively learning/participating, you're doing great.
 

 

[NPCMaxwell]

4 hours ago, Evelo said:

I am pretty darn experienced and recently started playing with a friend who is completely inexperienced. So what irks me about playing with this friend?

- Not paying attention to your basic needs. Hunger and Health.
              - If your health is low and you don't know how to heal it up, ask for help. Better to ask than to end up dying.

- Not listening
              - If the people you play with have objectives, or tips on how/what to do, Listen. My friend keeps dying to shadow creatures, so I went insane and showed how to handle them, he tried to replicate and practice. Awesome! After some time in base he went insane and just stood there waiting to die and said, "It's faster for you to revive me than to deal with sanity." That really angered me given it is a fundamental skill that needs to be refined if you want to succeed in the game.

Those are my two biggest gripes I have experienced. So as long as you are keeping awareness and actively learning/participating, you're doing great.
 

 

I am actually not unexperienced I just become unable to focus on anything mostly unable to focus on my basic stats or to actually notice dangers around me as soon as I become stressed, which is rather rarely the case in singelplayer which is why I can survive in singleplayer DS worlds well enough to e.g. have experienced sw seasons and explore Hamlet underground stuff / built myself a home in hamlet. But in DST without permadeath basic survival instincts get easily missing so I struggle more with the if-I-don't-do-exactly-what-planned-before gamestyle I get stressed and end up in ghostform from things that I would usually not blink an eye to. I wouldn't play DST with permadeath / non ghosts either, though as i find them too funny. I suppose i just need to CALM DOWN that's all ^^ wjhich to me usually can be archived by gathering stuff / sorting it.

 

About your friend just idling and wanting to be revived:

xD that's actually not my plan. I am getting rather STRESSED when I am depended on others (granted that should be obvious as I  usually do singleplayer games with no telltale hearts and rather float half the map back to find the floral poster / transform some flowers into evil ones and scare some animals for fun.)

5 hours ago, Mr Giggio said:

Dude the whole thing is about having fun, u loosing when u too concern about how u winning, u will know u winnin when u enjoying what u doing, back to basics

Summed it up quite well, indeed. Maybe I'm too concerned of getting stressed that I get stressed from it. 

[gaymime]

so, i spent yesterday having a good think on this and while i don't know if it is helpful i =think= it might still be worth sharing;

 

if you are so stressed that you find yourself getting locked into idling or a loop then tell someone that you are needing to take a break and log out. it is not rude to need to go especially if you are having a meltdown. noone will be mad at you for needing to take care of yourself and noone will begrudge you if you tell them that you need to go. part of being a good team player is using your words<3 part of being a safe and responsible adult is recognizing that your health is more important than a silly game. maxwell can revive at the postern if he dies, you cannot.

[NPCMaxwell]

46 minutes ago, gaymime said:

so, i spent yesterday having a good think on this and while i don't know if it is helpful i =think= it might still be worth sharing;

 

if you are so stressed that you find yourself getting locked into idling or a loop then tell someone that you are needing to take a break and log out. it is not rude to need to go especially if you are having a meltdown. noone will be mad at you for needing to take care of yourself and noone will begrudge you if you tell them that you need to go. part of being a good team player is using your words<3 part of being a safe and responsible adult is recognizing that your health is more important than a silly game. maxwell can revive at the postern if he dies, you cannot.

OK I will do that next time then, when I notice my mind is overflowing with stress. (I wish I could embrace my mental health more but this will certainly be a step....though if I had a floral postern of my own IRL I would greatly appreciate). After all hearing it from YOU ensures me that it is truly not a bad thing to say until later and disappear during a game.

[asdsaax]

On 7/21/2024 at 11:25 PM, NPCMaxwell said:

I never rush, rushing means stress for me. I would never do that even if someone FORCED me to. Instead I usually center my whole gameplay around a general goal (e.g. clearing the area goal).

It's okay!
Though while listing goals  I wanted to imply that it's good to be mindful of your personal "to do list" and stuff that the game has to offer
so you won't catch yourself goalless and therefore avoid stressful limbo

so rushing isn't a must-have to stay entertained/productive...
but dragonfly practice for kicks on day 647 when out of favourite tasks is surely an emergency option that is good to keep in mind

 

On 7/21/2024 at 11:25 PM, NPCMaxwell said:

And to prevent stress: with messurements taken to let other creatures do the "area" cleaning and drops generation that I usually focus on task for us, by having random mobs wars from mods spawning creatures and set pieces plentiful all over.

I'm glad that you are finding solutions tho!

[NoodlemanNed]

i havnt bothered reading any of the replies to the original post, so maybe this was already said.

I think it can help to make a list of what you feel like accomplishing in a world. Order your tasks however you see fit, or even ignore them entirely, but always have something you can look at when you start feeling overwhelmed.

I also think it can be worth it to intentionally ignore your teammates in this situation as well. Yeah they might get annoyed by it but at least you would actually be functioning which is a big step up.

[NPCMaxwell]

7 hours ago, NoodlemanNed said:

i havnt bothered reading any of the replies to the original post, so maybe this was already said.

I think it can help to make a list of what you feel like accomplishing in a world. Order your tasks however you see fit, or even ignore them entirely, but always have something you can look at when you start feeling overwhelmed.

I also think it can be worth it to intentionally ignore your teammates in this situation as well. Yeah they might get annoyed by it but at least you would actually be functioning which is a big step up.

My playmate gave me the idea to put a sticky note with some pre-base crafts next to my screen, though I must see about that since I often rather focus on the resources not the crafts themselves. I feel this could confuse me more then helping so I instead thought of a sticky note that just had a general ask if we need stuff, collect stuff, then bring stuff to base (base for me means place where other person / campire is standing pre-base) while not forgetting your stats on it.

7 hours ago, NoodlemanNed said:

i havnt bothered reading any of the replies to the original post, so maybe this was already said.

I think it can help to make a list of what you feel like accomplishing in a world. Order your tasks however you see fit, or even ignore them entirely, but always have something you can look at when you start feeling overwhelmed.

I also think it can be worth it to intentionally ignore your teammates in this situation as well. Yeah they might get annoyed by it but at least you would actually be functioning which is a big step up.

Intentionally ignoring would be a very functional option for me, indeed if my brain allowed me to which it will only let me do if I find a repetitive (gathering) task to intensly focus on.

8 hours ago, Lordowsky said:

It's okay!
Though while listing goals  I wanted to imply that it's good to be mindful of your personal "to do list" and stuff that the game has to offer
so you won't catch yourself goalless and therefore avoid stressful limbo

so rushing isn't a must-have to stay entertained/productive...
but dragonfly practice for kicks on day 647 when out of favourite tasks is surely an emergency option that is good to keep in mind

 

I'm glad that you are finding solutions tho!

^^ My character isn't made for combat though. In emergency attack situation his strategy is run-until-safety even if it means letting base behind to be doomed. Even when I play with Wilson and not my custom character I usually still flee rather than fight. I just don't like fighting much and most "rushing" involves fights so they are to me not goals I consider necessary if I can't find a way around them. (consider me a scavenger who rather takes what other people left)

 

I haven't tried out this sever idea yet, though since I have put myself on a recovery-hiatus for this week. I noticed my irl sanity was almost empty which probably added a lot to in-game confusion. But I am sure it's more likely for me to function under the specific circumstances for the server I had in mind.