The End... Or Not?

[The Starver]

Alright, so to give a bit of background, I'm writing a story set after the Survivors escape the Constant, sometime in 1918-1919.

 

Prologue One:

As Jack Carter returned home from the cemetery, slowly slogging through the driving rain, umbrella in hand, he wondered again why he'd had such awful luck all those years ago. To learn his brother William wasn't dead, and was, in fact, alive, then to have that hope snatched from him after that terrible earthquake. Then, to make matters worse, he lost both his daughters. After Abigail had died, Wendy had seemed... distant. Then, she was gone. After all those years, he still wondered why his normally so levelheaded daughter had run away. After no sign, he reluctantly called off the search. For a time, the war drew his mind off things, but now, after the Treaty of Versailles a few months earlier, it all came back to him. 

As he got to the mailbox, he noticed the flag was up. How unusual, he thought.  I hardly ever get mail these days. I suppose it's the tax company, complaining again. But as he pulled the letter out, it was not, in fact, from the tax company. It was from a man he had never heard of, "R. Wagstaff." The address was unfamiliar, as well, one he had never heard of, apparently somewhere in a remote part of Maine. Curious, he opened the envelope, then dropped the letter in the mud in shock. He hurriedly picked it up and rushed in the house, and sat down in his chair to read it.

Dear Mr. Carter, 
I have information concerning your brother, one William Carter. If you are not Mr. Jack Carter, I advise you stop reading immediately. If you are, however, then you will be pleased to hear that your brother and daughters are well, and they would like to see you as soon as possible. Enclosed here is one express ticket, all fares paid, to Augusta, Maine, where I will take you in my automobile to see them. They and several associates are currently staying at my place of residence. However, William has expressed an extreme desire to se you again, and your daughter Wendy expressed a similar sentiment. If you would like to see them, simply mail your response to this address by the next post, but leave it vague. I understand you may think this is a hoax, however, I have enclosed a photograph of him, and a letter written in his own hand. 
        Regards, 
            Robert Wagstaff

    Somewhat stunned, he pulled the tickets, the other letter, and lastly, the photograph out of the envelope with shaking hands. He looked at his brother's solemn face, realizing how much he had changed in twelve years. He looked much less nervous, and he didn't even wear glasses! He also had a rose pinned in his lapel, oddly enough. Then he unfolded the other letter, carefully, as if it were a snake about to bite him.

Jack, 
Please come at once. I have much to tell you, and I cannot fit it all into this letter. When I last wrote, I spoke of a book, which unsettled me greatly... but rest assured, it is no longer an issue. I hope this letter does not come as too much of a shock, and that it finds you in good health. I advise that you tell no one where you are going, for there are machinations at work beyond your wildest imaginations.
    Yours sincerely,
        William
P.S.: Wendy sends her regards, and cannot wait to see you again.

    Jack sank to the floor, hugging the letter to his chest. After a while, he carefully put away the letters and the photograph in the envelope, and composed a reply:

Dear Mr. Wagstaff,
I would be delighted to see what you have found. I will be on my way there as soon as I have my affairs in order.
    Sincerely, 
        Jack Carter

He then put it in an envelope, stamped it, and sealed it, before taking the two envelopes to his bedstand, putting out the light, and going to bed. He did not notice the faint shadowy outline of a hand, which scuttled onto his nightstand, stole a very important key, and scuttled away.

Edited February 27 by The Starver
changed "chapter" to "prologue"

[The Starver]

This is the first prologue. You can expect edits, as it's not completely finished.

[The Starver]

Currently fixing up the second prologue. I'll be posting very infrequently, so don't expect much; I'll try to post my best work, though.

Prologue Two:

Wilson took the little electrical component out of its' housing for the fifth time, fiddled with it, then put it back in and stared at it indecisively. "Stop messing around. I'm sure it was fine the last couple times!" That was Winona, reassuring as always when helping him with his crazy inventions. This time was different, though. This time, he had help. Wagstaff, a genius inventor who was somehow able to project an image of himself into the Constant. The survivors had had mixed feelings about him at first, especially when the rifts opened, but his help had been invaluable as time went on. They had gained many new powers, conquered powerful enemies, and were now focusing their attention on getting home. Of course, there was still the problem of Charlie and Them, but Wilson figured, and Maxwell agreed, that after they got home there wasn't much They or Charlie could do. 

Home. The word held so much meaning. They had to make this portal. Wilson could go back to his experiments... although they might not be any more successful... he shook his head. With Winona helping, he was sure he could figure it out. She had a unique perspective.

But what about Webber? a small voice in the back of his head whispered. He certainly can't come back. He's a spider. Wilson brushed off the thought, but it stuck with him. Webber had taken to seeing him almost as a father figure, and Wilson had no idea how to handle the situation, and the only person who could have helped him, Wanda, had been feeling distant lately. He sighed and turned back to his work. Why did everything have to be so complicated? The shadow watcher behind him disappeared. It had a job to do.

Edited February 27 by The Starver
changed "chapter" to "prologue"

[Dr.Webber]

Could we possibly get animations

[The Starver]

13 hours ago, Dr.Webber said:

Could we possibly get animations

Unfortunately, I'm not an animator. I would enjoy animations, but I don't see them happening.

[Dr.Webber]

1 hour ago, The Starver said:

Unfortunately, I'm not an animator. I would enjoy animations, but I don't see them happening.

I suspect if you ask around and you could probably find someone I really think this has good potential

[JoeW]

Threads in this area of the forums do not get archived so there is no reason to bump a thread unless you have something to contribute to it. 

[The Starver]

26 minutes ago, JoeW said:

Threads in this area of the forums do not get archived so there is no reason to bump a thread unless you have something to contribute to it.

Oh, ok. Thanks!

[The Starver]

Alright, the chapter you've all been waiting for... Chapter One!

Chapter One:

Everything was ready. They were all packed; all that was left was to throw the lever. Wagstaff had warned them about what could happen if the portal destabilized, so Wilson had added a killswitch, on Winona's advice, which Wolfgang was supposed to pull if something went wrong. 
Wilson went up to the lever, and stopped. He remembered pulling a very similar lever, all those years ago. Suddenly, it all came back with aching clarity.
Wilson had just left the university in disgrace. He was broke, and the only house he could afford was a ramshackle cottage way out in the wilderness. He packed all of his scientific equipment into boxes, and left behind everything he'd ever known. He remembered the taxi driver, driving away as soon he had all the boxes out of the vehicle. 
The house was a mess, almost as if the owner had left one day for work... and never come back. There were  cobwebs all over. He opened the attic, and shuddered as some spiders scuttled away, then climbed the ladder. Surprisingly, the attic seemed to have been devoted to scientific research. There were vials, beakers, tubes, and burners, as well as other, more... mysterious instruments that Wilson couldn't even guess at the function of. He pressed on the desk, and a drawer popped out! Inside was a strange pair of goggles. Wilson held them up to his eyes, and blinked. They were quite blurry. Sturdy eyeglasses, he supposed. How ingenious. In fact, he realized, most of what's in this workshop is. 
There was also a key with a disturbing skull on it. He looked around the attic, wondering what it could possibly unlock. Nothing. He noticed that one of the floorboards squeaked when he stepped on it. He pulled on the edges, and it came up. There was a skeleton underneath it! He hurriedly put the floorboard back, and looked some more. His eyes settled on the bookshelf. Perfect. Nobody would think of looking behind that. He shoved his shoulder into it, heaving it across the room. After he'd moved it, he stood there, panting, to catch his breath, then looked, and saw a metal panel with a keyhole in the center. He tried the key. It fit perfectly. He excitedly pulled the cover off the hole... and stopped. It was a radio. But why is it in here? It's probably just a red herring of some kind. It was in very good condition. He turned it over, noticing the writing on it: Voxola Radio Company, Model PR-76.
Over time, he began to enjoy life out in the backwoods. He cleaned up the attic, polished up the skeleton, whom he named Timothy, and started experimenting. He had many failures. Most of his inventions would almost work, before falling apart or exploding. His attic had a corner that slowly filled up with junk. A propeller blade here, a heating element taken from a lightbulb there. Slowly, his experiments got grander, his hope got smaller, and his failures mounted, until the radio spoke to him. 
When Wilson went into the Constant, he was terrified. His life balanced on a thin edge, and he died many times, but somehow scraped by with a touchstone here, a meat effigy there, a life-giving amulet saved him from the Dragonfly, then he took the fight to Maxwell. After entering Maxwell's door, he faced terrible challenges, but nothing could have prepared him for Checkmate. He walked along the path, the strange ragtime music growing stronger, until he reached the Nightmare Throne, where Maxwell sat. All this time, he had thought Maxwell was so powerful, when it turned out he was simply a pawn of "Them," tied to the throne. At the last minute, Wilson decided to try to free Maxwell, but then... 
He remembered little of his time spent on the Throne. It was a blur of darkness, fear, and despair, until Charlie came... and freed him. Then he and Maxwell made the portal, and the rest, as they say, is history. 
He shook his head. It's alright now, he thought. I'll be home soon, then none of this will matter. He pulled the lever. 
The portal began to glow, shaking slightly. He stood straighter, shading his eyes from the brightness. Then, the glowing intensified, and a crackling sound filled the air, and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. Something's wrong.
 "Wolfgang!" he yelled. "Pull the killswitch!" Wolfgang heaved mightily on the lever, and just as the crackling sound was building to a head, the portal powered down, leaving a circle of charred ground around it. Wilson stared ahead, with an odd glow on the points of his hair. Winona approached him, concerned, and he slumped to the ground. 
"Hey, Wolfgang!" Winona called. "Gimme a hand here, would ya? We've got a scientist to take back to his house!" Wolfgang walked over and gently picked Wilson up, slinging the scientist over his shoulder. He carried Wilson back to his house, which was just an abandoned pig hut, but Wilson had made it a tidy little workshop. He gently laid him down on the floor, then left him to sleep away.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Wilson woke up, he had a headache. Groggily, he stumbled to his kitchen, and pulled some meatballs out of the icebox. After he'd eaten, he went over to the little table where he kept his notes, and stopped. Something about a dream he'd had... 
In the dream, he was flying. Over the ocean, far beyond anywhere they'd ever gone. Suddenly, land. It was... firey. There were all sorts of flaming and burning things, firey birds, vents blowing yet more fire into the air... the dream changed. There was a volcano, standing tall over the landscape, blowing magma into the air. Then he was in the volcano, and evil-looking lizards prowled around, but at the very back, he could see... something. Something powerful. Suddenly, a blast of flames went up in front of him, and then he was struggling to lift giant dumbells made of giant potatoes, while Wolfgang and Woodie looked on, laughing.
He shook his head. It was just a dream. It couldn't mean anything. Yet it remained. He just couldn't shake the feeling that whatever he'd seen in that volcano could help them get home. Throughout the day, while he was gathering wood, harvesting crops, or doing various other chores, he couldn't shake the feeling that it was important. 
Finally, he went to Woodie. 
"Woodie, can you help me?" he said.  "I need some wood to fix up the boat." 
"What do ya need a boat for?" said Woodie. "We got everything we need right here."
"I... I just want to take it out a ways, and maybe do... science, um, stuff."
"I don't know... Eh, whatever. All you science guys are nutty anyway. Fine. I'll get yer wood."
"Thanks." said Wilson. "By the way, do you know where Winona is?"
Woodie thought for a second. "Ah... no, I don't. Why d'you ask?"
"Um, no reason, I just, um, thought, um... nevermind." Wilson's mind was racing. If he could get away without Winona noticing, he might have a chance of getting to the volcano in his dream without endangering the others. He'd leave as soon as he had the wood.
"Why are you acting so weird?" Woodie's voice cut through his thoughts. He jumped.
"Weird? Me? Nothing weird or abnormal about this. I'm not trying to take the boat and leave, and I'm definitely coming back... I mean, what are you talking about? I gotta go. Bye."
Woodie looked at him oddly for a second, then shrugged. "Alright. I'll get the wood to yer house in a jiff."
As Wilson ran to his house, he called back, "Thanks!" 
When he was out of sight of Woodie, he turned towards where he'd left the boat. He snuck up to it, then silently cursed his luck. On the boat, Wendy and Webber were pretending to have a tea party, while Warly leaned on the steering wheel, looking somewhat bored, as if he'd rather be anywhere else rather than watching two kids play. Wilson looked on helplessly. The kids looked quite happy, and didn't seem to be leaving anytime soon. 
Suddenly, behind him, someone spoke. "Hey, Wilson, do you have a second? I'd better tell you something." He jumped and turned around, smothering a yelp. "Wanda! What? Shhhh!" he said indignantly, putting a finger to his lips. "Wilson... Oh, botheration, I forgot. But don't think you're off the hook yet!" she added, as he tried to subtly sneak away. "I'm coming with you, and don't you try to leave without me! This is one adventure I'm going to have!" And with that, she pulled out a peculiar watch, with a green gem on it, and pointed it at Wilson. He flinched. "Oh, come on. It won't hurt you. This is just a new invention of mine. It records where you are, and can take me to you, but it ages me something fierce, so I'd rather not use it." She pressed a button, and it glowed for a second, then stopped. "There we go. Also," she said, winking. "I'd imagine the kids would love a boat ride from Mr. Wilson. Anyway, bye!" 
Before Wilson could say anything, she'd activated another of her impossible watches, and was gone. He sunk his head in his hands. Wendy and Webber probably wouldn't be done playing until dusk, and by then it'd be too late to do anything, and the longer he stayed, the more likely it was that he'd be noticed leaving. 
And then it hit him. Of course! he thought, that's what she meant. He straightened his hair, getting shocked by the static slightly, then walked into the clearing. "Hello, Warly! I see you and the children are having a good time. I had an idea. Would you kids like to take a nice boat ride?" Webber leapt up. "Yes, yes please, Mr. Wilson! We wanna have a boat ride!" 
"I would like a boat ride, too, Wilson, please." said Wendy. "Okay, then." said Wilson. "Let's take this nice and easy." He gently eased the boat out to sea, enjoying the feel of the wheel in his hands. 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little later, Warly said "Monsieur, I believe land is that way?" and pointed to the direction opposite the way they were traveling. "Oh... yeah, sorry, that's where I meant to go." said Wilson, sounding distracted. He turned the other way. 
"Wilson, I think I know what is troubling you, mon ami." said Warly suddenly, making Wilson's hands slip. "Y-you do?" said Wilson nervously. "Why, of course!" said Warly. "I feel the same way." Wilson studied Warly for a second. "Wh-what are you talking about?" he said. "I can see in your eyes that you, too, wish for nothing more than to be upon the open ocean, feeling the wind in your hair and the salt spray in your face." answered Warly, smiling ruefully. "Ah, but those days are long gone. There aren't the materials here for a ship like I used to sail." he added sadly.
Wilson pondered this for a while. He wanted to leave by himself, but the more he thought about it, the less likely it got. Wanda had already established that she was coming, and he was feeling guilty about leaving Warly behind, as the poor chef obviously wanted to get back on the water. He noticed that it was getting dark, so he turned back towards his house, and as he did so, he finally came to a decision. 
"Warly?" he asked, in a low tone of voice. "What is it, monsieur?" replied Warly, in a curious tone of voice. Wilson replied, "Well, you see... Wanda and I are leaving for a boat trip for a while, and I wanted to know... if you wanted to come with?" Warly looked at him, surprised. "What kind of a question is that? Why, of course! As soon as we get back, I will pack up my cooking pot and some choice ingredients... but not too many. I must save room for the wonderful ingredients that I remember. Wilson, mon ami, you have filled my heart with joy." Wilson, taken somewhat aback by Warly's thanks, said "Y-you're welcome. I'd love to have you." 
Then he sighed as Webber spoke up. "Mr. Wilson, can I come too? I promise I'll be really helpful, and I won't cause trouble!" 
Wilson replied, "Webber, I can't let you come with. It will be very dangerous, and I'd be worried about you the whole time." 
"Well, that's dumb," said Webber. "I can take care of myself just fine. Besides, I have my spiders. They're my friends, and they'll help me." 
"Webber," said Wilson "you can't bring your spiders. All right, you can bring two, but you need to pack lightly," he added hastily, as Webber reached his hand into his pocket. The last time he'd done that, it had taken ages to get the leftover silk out of his hair. 
With that conversation managed, Wilson sighed with relief as he parked the boat next to his house. He waved at Warly and the kids as they headed to the nearby camp. He went into his house and lit the wax candles on the table, before putting his head in his hands. What had he gotten himself into? Just that morning, he'd been planning to leave all by himself... but Wanda hadn't taken no for an answer, Warly had been obviously pining for the sea, and Webber... well, he was such a strong-willed little kid. It was almost impossible to refuse him. 
He got up again. It's no use feeling sorry for yourself, he thought. Each one of them wanted to come, and they're all able to handle it. Anything that comes along, we'll be fine.
Just then, he heard a knock on his door. He jumped, and ran to the door. When he opened it, he sighed. It was Winona, and she looked mad. 
"What do you think you're doing, Wilson?" she said furiously. "Warly told me that you were leaving on a sea voyage, and so I decided to come over here and talk some sense into you!!"
She slammed her lantern on the table and turned it off. "So. What have you got to say for yourself?" she asked him, with an icy glare. Wilson decided at that moment to cut his losses and make sure he didn't get on the wrong end of Winona's self-made hammer. 
"Uhhh... would you like to come too?" he said nervously. She blinked. "Well, sure. Let me pack up some stuff, and I'll be back in the morning. And you'd better not leave without me!" she added. "Oh, don't worry about that," said Wilson, walking over to his storage area. "Wanda told me the same thing, and I won't be trying to cross her anytime soon. See you tomorrow."
"See ya."
After she left, Wilson pulled his backpack out of a corner. It was an especially roomy one, which he'd stolen from the master thief himself, Krampus, during a confrontation a long time ago. Now, he stuffed things into it he thought he'd need. A Dark Sword, a football helmet, some assorted doodads, a few tools, and his personal weapon of choice, blow darts, which he brought plenty of in different types, as well as a spear. He wasn't sure what he'd need, so he tried to pack light, bringing only what he figured would be essential on the journey. Finally, he grabbed some seasonal gear, because he wasn't sure what he weather would be like, then he put back the winter clothes, and put on his life giving amulet, for luck. Then, he went to bed, after inspecting his packing one more time. 
Meanwhile...
Warly packed up a few things, then took out the machete he kept in a chest, and began sharpening it.
Webber packed his spiders and a few other things, then went to sleep.
Winona put some duct tape and her thulecite hammer in her backpack, and fiddled with a mechanism for a long time before going to sleep.
Wanda tinkered with the working of a particularly obstinate grandfather clock she'd been making to pass time long into the night.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When morning came, Wilson had some waffles out of his icebox, then went outside to check on the boat and get it ready for the trip. To his surprise, Warly was there already, looking at the mast and steering wheel critically. When he saw Wilson, he said "Hello, there! I have been inspecting our ship, and I have good news and bad news. Which would you like first?" Wilson replied "What's the good news?"
"This ship will sail, mon ami, but the bad news is that we'll have to make a much sturdier craft once we have the materials, because the ocean is treacherous and the waves get very high."
"Oh." said Wilson. "Well, that's not too bad. What do you think we'll need?" 
"Well," said Warly, "I am not the expert on this. Cooking is my specialty, and sailing was always Woodlegs' craft, but I think we will need tough vines, tar, and strong cloth to start, none of which we can get here." 
"Okay, then." said Wilson. "We'll just make do, as we always have."
"That is the spirit, mon ami, that is the spirit." said Warly encouragingly.
Wilson helped Warly patch up the boat with the wood he'd gotten from Woodie, and a sewing kit he had in a chest. 
The other three arrived around lunchtime, each with a backpack slung over their shoulder.
"Right," said Wanda. "Now that we're all here, we can leave. Any objections?"
Everyone shook their heads. 
"Alright, then." said Wilson. "We'll eat on our way. Let's go!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As the day wore on, Wilson began to doubt whether this trip was a good idea. After all, it was only based on a dream he'd had... yet he still had this odd feeling, like there was something he was forgetting, and it was at the back of his mind, waiting, waiting, to be remembered...
Then, he heard Warly shout, "Ship ahoy! Man the guns, and batten down the hatches! Looks like a pirate sloop in combat with another crew!" They leapt to their positions, Wilson and Winona on the cannons, Wanda swinging her bladed alarming clock, Warly steering, and Webber poised with a spider warrior in each hand, ready to lob them at the pirates. As they got closer, they realized that the other crew was in a tough spot, outnumbered by the pirates two to one, but the three anthropomorphic wolves were fighting back viciously. Wilson had only a second to process this, though, because they were in firing range, and as Webber tossed his spiders and Wanda lashed out with her clock, Wilson and Winona set to sinking the pirates' ship. Suddenly, the monkeys turned tail and ran back to their ship and quickly paddled away. "Oh, yeah!" yelled Winona. "Run away, like the cowards you are!!" Warly, however, said "Don't get your hopes up, Winona. I think we're in for more trouble." 
He was right. From the depths came three lobsters (or were they crabs?), with gems embedded in their shells. One of the wolves said, "I don't like the looks of this... this seems too easy, guys."
"I'm with the wolf guy," said Winona, "I don't like the looks of this... but it's not my sister's handiwork, I can tell ya that."
Suddenly, one of the lobstercrabs lunged at the wolves' boat, lashing out with its' claws and damaging their hull. The boat lurched, a large chunk of it missing. The three wolves swayed, trying to keep their balance. "Jump over to our boat!" called Wilson frantically, waving his arms. Then he overbalanced, arms flailing, and almost toppled into the water as another of the monsters hit the suvivors' boat. The three wolves looked apprehensive, but the next moment, they had jumped across, carrying the few things they had with them. There was no time to make introductions, though, as the lobstercrabs were circling again, looking for a weak point. Wilson stabbed one with his spear, but its' shell was as tough as stone. Wanda's clock met with similar results, except that was because it had run out of fuel. "Botheration!" said Wanda. "I thought I had fueled it up and brought more with me... oh, blast it, that was a different timeline!" 
Still muttering to herself, she put the clock away, and went to sulk on the deck. Warly pulled a crock pot, a grinding mill, and a seasoning station out of his backpack, before finally pulling out a couple sticks, some extra rope, and a giant potato. 
He tossed them back in the backpack in disgust, then pulled out what he was looking for... his machete! He beat a lobstercrab's claw away, and proceeded to fence with it, claw on sword. Winona grabbed her hammer, and beat at the lobstercrab nearest her. This broke the rest of them out of their shock, and while Wilson ineffectively poked the monsters with his spear, Webber used some blow darts he'd gotten who knows where to shoot at the lobstercrabs' eyes, Wanda used a hambat that looked a little stale to bonk them, and the three wolves got down to fighting. The red-furred one who was wearing a leather toolbelt used a heavy cleaver-type sword, which was the most effective weapon, while his companions, a black-furred, intimidating one, who used an odd-looking guitar that seemed to be reinforced, and a blue-furred one who appeared to be wearing a bathrobe with crescent moons on it, who used blow darts similarly to Webber, also attacked with varying degrees of success. 
By the end of the battle, the wolves' boat had sunk, and the survivors' boat wasn't much better off.  When the lobsters finally died, they rushed around fixing the boat, patching leaks, and sewing the many, many rips in the sail, they finally got a chance to catch their breath. Wilson walked over to the three wolves, who were sitting bunched up in a group, looking upset. "Hey." he said to the red-furred one, holding out his hand. "What's your name? Mine's Wilson. Is anything wrong?" 
The wolf looked away for a while before answering. "My name's Winters. Jason Winters. These are my friends Wendell," he indicated the black-furred wolf, "and Werryn. As for why we're upset, well... it's a long story, and we have somewhere to be. Except our boat is sunk, so we have no way of getting there." 
"Where are you going?" asked Wilson. "Maybe we're going to the same place."
"I doubt it," said Winters. "We were headed to the city of Taminus. That's where we're hoping to right a wrong we've done." 
"Hold up," said Wilson, confused. "City? There aren't any cities here. The closest city is on a plateau far, far, away from here called Swinesbury, at least according to my friend Wormwood."
"Yeah. It's an amazing place! Wonders of technology and even magic are all over this underground city. It's all tied together with the incredible substance, Noxpotentia, which powers all their inventions. The leaders, King Cyclum and Queen Metheus, are just and fair rulers, who have lead the entire Locito people into a time of great prosperity. We're headed there for a... specific reason, which is why we're so upset." said Winters, obviously confused by Wilson's lack of recognition. "In fact, that lady over there even has a tool they made in one of their cities, if not the capital." he added, pointing at Winona. "Huh?" she said. "I made this myself! I didn't get it from anywhere! Why would you even suggest that I didn't make this?" she snapped. "Wait! I didn't mean to accuse you. In fact, now that I look at it, this isn't Locito craftsmanship at all..." he stopped, because Wilson had gotten a strange look in his eyes. "Metheus... underground city... it all makes sense now... but I never imagined it like this..."
Winters looked at him oddly, as if he'd started speaking another language, and was about to say something when Wilson spoke. "Winters... I'm truly sorry. I really am, because I would really like to take you to Taminus. It sounds amazing! Unfortunately, I'm not sure how to say this, but, Winters... the ancients, or Locito, apparently, died out a long time ago. Like, thousands of years long. All that's left of this Taminus, and other cities like it, are a bunch of old, old ruins, with broken clockwork monsters and the guardian of the city." Wilson touched Winters on the shoulder sympathetically, as Winters slumped. "We failed... everyone was counting on us, but we failed... Wilson, I need to tell you and the rest of your friends, whatever their names are, what happened, and why we wanted to get there. Not that it matters now," he laughed bitterly. "I'm Winona," said Winona, setting her hammer down and pointing to each of the survivors in turn. "This is Warly, our resident french chef," Warly smiled and waved. "That spider kid over there is Webber. He's not that bad. Most of the time at least," she added teasingly, and Webber said "I am not!" indignantly. "That weird lady's called Wanda, and she's always a different age, as well as frequently confused." Wanda, not looking up from her work, waved vaguely at one of the cannons and went back to working. 
"So, what's the story?" asked Winona. 
"Well, it all begins in 1986, when Wendell, Werryn and I split ways. Yes, 1986. Got a problem with that?" said Winters, at the shocked glances of four people. "Oh, yes, the 80s. Wonderful decade, just wonderful." said Wanda distractedly. 

"Anyways," said Winters, eyeing the survivors, "We split up. Werryn went to New York City, I stayed in Wyoming, and Wendell headed for Tennessee, or wherever rock & roll was popular at the time. A few years later, Werryn called me up and asked me to come to his house. So I said, sure, and went to his house. I had no idea how this decision would affect my life."

"We came here, but apparently the gateways are funky, because if what you say is true, we got here right around when the... ancients, I guess, met their downfall, at the hands of the fuel that had brought them prosperity... Too late, my friends and I tried to help them close the Gateway, but we were defeated... at the last second, we were blasted through what I guess was the time stream, and landed on an island in the ocean. We built a boat, and then we met you."

Edited March 19 by The Starver
Touched up the end a little bit more

[WinterWondering]

Just read this through, this looks really good! I like your interpretation of the characters, Wilson especially, him being terrible at lying is oddly in-character for him and pretty fun. Wanda's well-characterized as well, I like how odd and off-topic her comments are sometimes, it makes a lot of sense for her and fits her quotes well. Webber and Wilson's dynamic here is explored well too, I love how so many people have collectively agreed either Wilson or WX are parenting him, LOL. I like the smaller details, like Warly having worked on a ship before. Warly is well-written here as well, I like how legitimately kindhearted he is, it balances out the group well. Winona is perfect here, her dynamic with Wilson is quite funny to me. In general, I like how it feels like the characters all know each other very well, and their interactions reflect this. I like the foreshadowing at the beginning, and I think the idea of exploring the Ancients more is a cool idea. Good job!

[The Starver]

1 hour ago, WinterWondering said:

Winona is perfect here, her dynamic with Wilson is quite funny to me

Since I'm still writing, I can't say for sure, but just wait. It'll get funnier. 

One of the things I tried to do was focus on my worldbuilding without being completely canon (Winters, Wendell, and Werryn).

1 hour ago, WinterWondering said:

Just read this through, this looks really good! I like your interpretation of the characters, Wilson especially, him being terrible at lying is oddly in-character for him and pretty fun. Wanda's well-characterized as well, I like how odd and off-topic her comments are sometimes, it makes a lot of sense for her and fits her quotes well. Webber and Wilson's dynamic here is explored well too, I love how so many people have collectively agreed either Wilson or WX are parenting him, LOL. I like the smaller details, like Warly having worked on a ship before. Warly is well-written here as well, I like how legitimately kindhearted he is, it balances out the group well. Winona is perfect here, her dynamic with Wilson is quite funny to me. In general, I like how it feels like the characters all know each other very well, and their interactions reflect this. I like the foreshadowing at the beginning, and I think the idea of exploring the Ancients more is a cool idea. Good job!

Thank you! This is my first real story, so I'm definitely learning.

[WinterWondering]

2 hours ago, The Starver said:

Since I'm still writing, I can't say for sure, but just wait. It'll get funnier. 

One of the things I tried to do was focus on my worldbuilding without being completely canon (Winters, Wendell, and Werryn).

Thank you! This is my first real story, so I'm definitely learning.

Of course! Loving your takes on the characters as well as the new ones you're introducing. Good luck with it!

[Cackenberg]

I like your writing style. 

On 2/27/2024 at 11:54 PM, The Starver said:

Slowly, his experiments got grander, his hope got smaller, and his failures mounted, until the radio spoke to him. 

For example this is a sentence that i thought was nicely done