DST Pilot Episode Initial Feedback

[MrMNWorm]

Soooo... I got a little something that I thought would be fun to share.

I might have written a pilot episode for a DST animated series and entered it into an amateur script writing contest (hosted by ScreenCraft) that is specifically looking for new animated shows. Aside from the entry fee, there was a small additional fee that allows you to get feedback on your script... and I just got mine back. There was a very interesting note I noticed... the lady who wrote the feedback HAS played the game... sounds like she's a bit of a noob... but I would bet money, based off her comments about Willow and Wilson, she went back and played the game after reading the script.

The script's biggest strength is the fan base, which I clarified to her with 4 pages of notes at the beginning of the script. I detailed the game's fan base, arc of seasons 1 & 2 (1 is Maxwell's reign on the Nightmare throne aka the DS solo storyline, 2 and beyond is Charlie's reign aka the DST storyline), brief descriptions about seasons 3-6 and beyond, descriptions of the DST world, and the characters seen in the pilot: Maxwell, Wilson, Woodie, and Willow. Here's what I said about the current fan base and social media stats.

DST has:

25 million+ copies sold
1.4 million+ Twitch followers between the DS and DST channels (same number as The Last of Us I & II, which also debuted in 2013 and was quite popular/successful on HBO's MAX)
362k+ YouTube subscribers where there are 34 animated shorts about DST that have 70 million views combined
337k+ subreddit members
165k+ Twitter followers
42k+ Discord members (5x the Cuphead Discord and they have 3 seasons on Netflix)

Then I mentioned the line of Funko Pops that originally sold for $12.99 and now go for $70 on Amazon, plus the cameo appearance on Peacock's show, Resident Alien, S2E15. Finally, I wrapped up the stats-section with DST's Steam ranking for Concurrent Players that rarely dips below #40 and that it's currently hovering around the #20 position. That stat indicates that for all the projects Netflix currently has in the works (like Assassin's Creed, Tomb Raider, BioShock, Far Cry, etc, etc), DST has more daily players than all of them. 100s of 1000s of players per week and millions per month. "Millions per month" might have been a stretch but I think the rest are all fairly accurate stats.

So that's why she says "pretty big fanbase"... which I agree with her on. DST has a pretty big fan base... and an animated series would make it even bigger.

@JoeW I put you down as the person to contact if they wanted to verify that I have Klei's blessing/permission to use the DST IP... if anyone DOES contact you please, please, pleeeeeease say "yes he does" to them... and agree with the recommendation I made about me being the writer's assistant to the head writer (because thanks to 8,000-ish hours of gameplay, I am very knowledgeable about the game and lore, have humorous/wonderful story-telling skills, and a passion for righting... whoops, I meant riting... oh for the love of science... writing). If anything happens with the contest, you will be the first person to know. Quarter-finalists are announced at the end of this month... but don't hold your breath.

If you prefer I cease and desist all usage of the DST IP, please let me know at your earliest convenience.

If any of the Klei writers are interested in taking a peak at what I currently have and don't mind providing a little feedback/suggestions, I am TOTALLY open to that because if my comedy sketch writing classes have taught me anything, it's that I do my best work with partners. I promise you will only have to read it once (22 pages and reads rather quickly), shoot me your ideas, and I'll take it from there. Feel free to slide into my Forum DMs for arraignments or comment below.

That said, I hope everyone has a wonderful day, and thank you for your time.

-Sincerely,
MrWorm

 

PS: the feedback notes have a few typos and where she says "it would be that hard to come up with dialogue" I think she means "wouldn't". I did include some dialogue but very little and it's all superimposed like the animated shorts... but that's her main suggestion, the show should have voice actors/characters with regular dialogue so the audience can connect with them easier, especially for the non-fan-base viewers (no problem, I can add witty dialogue).

[Capybara007]

Why not follow the comic route which is way cheaper

[MrMNWorm]

@Capybara007 still doing the comedy sketches thing... just took a little timeout to finish the pilot and get it submitted for the contest deadline. 

But basically I'm just looking for any opportunity to get an official writing credit to my name... and I loved writing the pilot script for DST... I would do an entire season(s) if given the chance.