Topic exclusive for Hamlet revenges (sorry klei)

[Frigfrid]

Okay, after losing my 60-day save file (including exploring every island, restarting the Aporkalypse calendar, getting access to the royal galery's items, making a nettle farm, starting my own garden with berry bushes, improved farms, a ice flingomatic and stone walls protecting them from eventual fires caused by guards and starting the plannings to get the Queen's crown back) to a bunch of vampire bats and a bandit at night, this ended up becoming my new idea of a topic.

Mostly because there were more vampire bats than I could even count and a bandit following me. Couldn't even make a torch because stopping for a single second meant dying - which I eventually did because the bandit hit me and dropped my 80 oincs on the ground... which prompted the pig guards to, instead of helping me out with the bats, steal every oinc I had from the floor and let the bandit run away free.

That's the story of how I lost my 60 day save file, folks : - )

Well, my newest save was made just to get some personal revenge. Warning: long post.

Spoiler

Let's start off with character choice: Webber.

The start was already good: I spawned and a Pog was trying to bite my face off even after I put the mask on, which meant my first kill was something that didn't even have to do with the planned revenge.

Not that I regret it though.

Food's gonna be a very important aspect of my art today, you'll see.

Got a science machine done already on the first day, so that's a bonus. Lots of cave clefts around where I spawned, so, this is a good world gen. Too bad the village's not so close though.

Heyyyyy, little buddy, would you like to help me out on wiping a pig village out? :)))

Well, for my plan to properly work, I'll need a bunch of papyrus. Which means...

Chapter 1: It's time to build our own raft!

Yeah, took me long enough to get here, but basically, we can't build our own portable friendship pods without papyrus, can we?

Never too early to get those much needed resources for a proper noggin'. Gotta plan out how to get those spider glands, though, but they'll be fairly easy once I get my armor set up. That'll be for the next chapter though, as well as how we'll make friends with the villagers firsthand to not raise any suspicions. Plus I'll need a place for my villany.

Reminder: never go grab some reeds at dusk. My ears will be glad.

I must admit I got pretty lucky with the lake I chose to put my raft, since I got a whole pack of reeds just on it. It's probably a tad bit more than I need to make an extra spider nest, but the more, the merrier, y'now?

As a quick reminder, it's generally better to make improved nautical objects instead of a raft to explore lakes. In my instance, though, care's kiiiiind of outta the window since this save's exclusively made for revenge. Which means that yes, I am aware of the hazards killing a whole village can bring but I just don't care enough about it.

So um, we got a slight change of plans once we got to explore the jungle...

Which means we've got a gland earler than planned, but it's not enough for what we need and it cost me a lot of health. Fear not, 'tis but the start of a really long adventure in being the villain number one. I miss u Stefan.

Seems like we found the pig farms! That means it's time for...

Chapter 2: Knowing the enemy and being part of the mob

We'll need at least 50 oincs to buy a home, so, stealing the berries posted earlier maaaaaay or may not be what I did.

Which also was kinda costly for my health, but at least I got berries, some meat and a halberd for free.

With enough resources collected to get enough money to buy our own house since I'm too lazy to post every little thing here but you know what you can do to reach that, we can now start building our own comforting little place for evil scheming.

Which happens to be a slanty shanty.

Hilariously enough, it's situated right by the City Hall. Does that mean my first victim should be the mayor? Nah, probably not, for my vengeance is focused especially on those bastards of guards who would rather steal my money than help me survive. With me being a spider now, I'm pretty sure they'd want me dead even more.

With proper time and care, our house can be a home. But for that, we'll have to befriend the people of this town first! Or so they think.

This town's pretty rich of pig workers, so selling rope's the best choice.

That doesn't mean I'm not making the grandpas pay me for berries either.

I was hit by a bandit while screenshooting, so, there's that. Yes, the guards tried to steal my money here as well. I'm bitter.

I gotta admit living amidst the pigs seemed like a reasonable manner to avoid stealing to keep the appearance, but...

I don't really want to, eh. Either way, the farms are pretty far from the town, so I can loot relatively well while also getting my own steamed hams on the meanwhile.

They're obviously grilled.

With time to spare while we gather the necessary resources and money to make my own majestic goth house, we can trim some of the bushes around the town and sell all the clippings in Sterling Through Deli. It's really profitable, and you can even use the opportunity to trade some of those hard-earned oincs in a dinner for yourself!

It's not very profitable if there aren't many hedges around the town though. Which was what happened to me. ^****.

At least we have a pair of shears now, it's more efficient than a machete to cut grass, and that's gonna be useful for rope-farming. Not because of the profits made by selling them, but because they're needed for armory.

With armory made and enough money stolen gained from the townspeople by doing small favours (including collecting poop with our bare hands), it's time for...

Chapter 3: web, reeds, what's the difference?

Obviously this chapter won't be very long, as grinding ingredients for a spider eggsack is... well, boring.

Getting those silks can be a tad easier with a Webber, as he grows a majestic white beard made of silk and it's easily harvestable with a razor. Grinding the glands won't be as easy, though, but all in its proper time: after all, we will need some monster meat to befriend spiders.

This may or may not have taken a tad bit too long to complete (read: I was on my third Temperate once I had enough spider eggsacks). Fortunately, Spider Monkeys aren't the strongest if you use a log suit and a football helmet against them: their damage's reduced to roughly 3 points of health per attack, and a Halberd can slice them in half easily.

I also had to get vored eaten by the BFB to achieve all the needed aspects of this plan, since the Queen's royal staff is on his island, but this is just a small detail and not entirely needed to complete it, methinks.

And that takes us to...

Chapter 4: we will, we will, smash you!

With everything properly set, including the 10 or so spider nests ready in our inventory, we must wait until nighttime so everyone in town will be fast asleep...

Once it's done, we must get rid of the guard towers. For that, we can lure them with a spider nest and help our furry friends destroy them.

It looked like this after the fight:

Oh, and my oincs got dropped, too! One of those guards was responsible for stealing my oincs before.

Planting the spider nest where the guard towers once stood will cause the villagers to panic and often step on the webbing. That means we can even leave the spiders to do the job, if we really want to, but that's not what I have in mind.

Once the guards are dealth with, it's time to start phase 2.

The guards will drop enough torches to burn this whole city down, so, I don't even need to worry about my torch going out mid-burning. I also didn't have this problem when it came to weaponry either, as a single halberd can kill a guard and doing so also gives another halberd back.

Take note that I have to keep myself away from the fire, since I'm not Willow. I do have enough nests around the town to keep the workers busy running away for a while.

Just kidding though. The Executive hammer will come in handy now, since the workers actually ignore the spiders after a while.

I decided to keep the shops since they didn't take part into the mayhem that was the lost save and were always good people to me. Never once did any of the shopkeeps steal my money like these pigs did.

Which comes to the conclusion...

Did I erase a whole town in 3 in-game days?

Yes. Yes I did.

And I couldn't be more satisfied.

Bow down to your new spider overlord, peasants.

So, how was your vengeance?

[Hx380]

The hero we need 

[Kawasaki]

Top 10 anime betrayals right there