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T'was a Tale of the Mucus Creature

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Alriiight, STORY TIME! 


It was day 100 something, I was overstocked with meat and began to jerkify (dry) it. Now that it was Autumn, I wanted to have every piece of warm clothing, so I just sat at my deciduous biome base until I saw a track right next to my firepit, how odd..

Nonetheless, I began to follow it. Just.. running around chasing dirt. Suddenly, I saw a sleeping Red Hound! I ran away and slowly creeped back, which to my knowledge, was the Fire Staff trap. And slowly, I began murdering the hounds with the help of Abigail. I suddenly realized I had a track to follow, which as soon as I pick up the staff, Wendy notes the trail leads nowhere. Oh well, it was beginning to rain anyways, and my sanity took a dive (about 50?). I should've waited until I had better sanity-boosting items. So, I finally decide to go back to base and wait for the rain to stop. I begin searching for more tentacle spikes through a wormhole near my base. Bearger was having fun with tentacles, I guess. After I picked up OVER 11 TENTACLE SPIKES, I just shoved them into the wormhole, one by one. I emerge from the swamp, and there's this animal track again! I then proceeded to follow it. Excited for a Koalefant, I then "Sense the beast's presence nearby." -Wendy. YAAAAY MEA!-

My face turns a pale grey, which is more or less the same color of 'ITS' wool. 

"Son of a cussing cuss word, it's the Drop-Kicker 9000! I shall take you into combat!"

Then I realize my helmet is at 59%, but I fight anyways.

This HIDEOUS snot monster spits mucus at me, trapping me. Mrs. Randy Orton dropkicks me while I'm trapped. My helmet takes a huge hit in durability. "After her, Abigail!" So Abigail proceeded to keep Ewecus in place, while I stabbed her with a tentacle spike. She then shot mucus at me again, and this repeated for about 4 times, as alas, my helmet broke.

On 49 hp, I realized that those 60 damaging hooves would be my end. My legs aren't fat and hard, they're quick and scrawny. So, with this simple leg comparison, I decided to.. RUN AS FAST AS I CAN! The Ewecus still proceeds to run at me, despite the low HP. I make it to my base's nearby touchstone. I then proceed to look for the nearby spider den, as bats may kill spiders, leading to the almighty healing spider glands. Ewecus found me, wrapped me in her cage of mucus. I realized this was the end.

I died to a dropkick. AGAIN (Day 89). But prepared, I revived myself via touchstone, AND DIED AGAIN. Stupid volt goats getting struck by lightning..

In the end, I just revived myself via LGA (which I luckily found within a gravestone), killed Ewecus and the stupid Volt Goat, and enjoyed some ice cream from the electric milk.


Moral of the story:

Ewecus is stupid.

Ewecus is ugly.

Volt goats are also stupid, especially when struck.

Ewecus is fat AND ugly.

Ewecus deserves to die via Bearger.

Eat ice cream after a long day.

Tl;dr? Go read you lazy bum.



I wub u here u go :D

Living pretty good, fought Ewecus and died, also revived and died to a struck volt goat (touchstone lightning), resurrected via Life Giving Amulet, killed them both and had ice cream.

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