Need Help With Video Stuff

[Will]

So, I want to make a Don't Starve let's play.Only problem is that my voice has been diagnosed as a cause to chronic depression and eventual suicide. If not, it makes barf pails everywhere full. So I want to make a text-to-speech let's play using Microsoft Sam.Then the next problem emerges, the only text-to-speech voice on Windows 7 is Anna, and she sucks. Can someone hook me up with a program that has Microsoft Sam, and directions on how to download it? Plz k thnks.