No friends can join

We have tried everything under the sun for my group of 4 friends to try and join each other to play and it always ends with who ever tries to join getting and error saying they were disconnected. This is for xbox one and we have tried this throughout 3 days. everyone's ping is great, the server status for everyone is ??? even public servers, everyones internet is 30mbps, we live in the same country a few states apart and NAT is open and the only thing that we can get to allow anyone to join each other is if we turn off EVERYTHING.