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[Forum game] Sell your product!


Cyborgspaceninja

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Ok so for one, this is inspired by a forum game made by @Asparagus, if you don't know it then check it out! Ok now, here are the rules you must make up some wacky weird obsurd product, & try to sell it to anyone else in this forum. Ok so now I shall start

 

 

 

 

Now here is my big product, The heavy duty yarn ball, ok so your cat can be so cool that it manages to eat your yarnball, you need one of these it is lined with pure titanium and given thorns for extra protection yeah kitty get through this.

 

 

 

 

basically shark tank 

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-- -.-- / -. .- -- . / .. ... / ... -.- .- -.- . -.-- / - .... . / -- .- ... - . .-. / .-.. --- .-. -.. / --- ..-. / ....- ..--- ----- / -... --- .-- / -.. --- .-- -. / - --- / -- . / .. / .- -- / -.-- --- ..- .-. / -- .- ... - . .-. / .- .-.. ... --- / .-- . / .... .- ...- . / .-. .- -. / --- ..- - / --- ..-. / - .- -.-. --- / -.-. .-. ..- -. -.-. .... / -... .- .-. ... / ... --- / -.-- --- ..- / .... .- ...- . / - --- / .-.. .. ...- . / - .... . / -. --- .-. -- .- .-.. / -.-. .- .--. - .- .. -. / -.-. .-. ..- -. -.-. .... / -... .- .-. ... --..-- / - .... .- - / .. ... / .- .-.. .-.. / --. --- / -... .- -.-. -.- / - --- / -... . -..

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Hi.

My name is silvercide, and i would like to introduce to you, an innovative new product by silverco.

The Edible Doorknob™

Have you ever opened a door and thought to your self "Why can't I eat this?" A survey said that it is 100% possible for people to want to consume their doorknobs.

Well, with the Edible Doorknob™ this dream can now become a reality.

We used a special formula to make the doorknob as functional but as delicious as possible.

Now, please allow me to show you the Edible Doorknob™ in action.

looks at small room with a door on display

you hear a loud snap on the other side of the door

"uhhh...the doorknob broke off..."

As you can see it functions even better than any other doorknob on the market.

guy in small room is now banging on the door screaming for help 

And it tastes better than any other doorknob in the world

guy starts to attempt to break the door down with no prevail

We are even testing out a peanut butter flavor in our labs, to appeal to all the peanut lovers.

you hear soft weeping on the other side of the door

So who wants to join me on this fantastic, edible ride of a life time?

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1 hour ago, Cyborgspaceninja said:

-- -.-- / -. .- -- . / .. ... / ... -.- .- -.- . -.-- / - .... . / -- .- ... - . .-. / .-.. --- .-. -.. / --- ..-. / ....- ..--- ----- / -... --- .-- / -.. --- .-- -. / - --- / -- . / .. / .- -- / -.-- --- ..- .-. / -- .- ... - . .-. / .- .-.. ... --- / .-- . / .... .- ...- . / .-. .- -. / --- ..- - / --- ..-. / - .- -.-. --- / -.-. .-. ..- -. -.-. .... / -... .- .-. ... / ... --- / -.-- --- ..- / .... .- ...- . / - --- / .-.. .. ...- . / - .... . / -. --- .-. -- .- .-.. / -.-. .- .--. - .- .. -. / -.-. .-. ..- -. -.-. .... / -... .- .-. ... --..-- / - .... .- - / .. ... / .- .-.. .-.. / --. --- / -... .- -.-. -.- / - --- / -... . -..

NOOOOOO!

TACO CRUNCH WAS MY FAVORITE ;~;

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Ladies and gents here is a product by walrus inc. that will knock your socks off!

Here it is i call them rubber kitchen appliances. 

Now now now I know what you are thinking already "wow!... but hows it work?" I'll tell ya

 Spatulas, too dangerous right? Not anymore, with this new product it works like a charm.

Let's see it in action!! *Obviously cuts to a video of a man using a regular knife.*

Wow I am amazed this is so awesome. Now starting at 56 easy payments of 23.99 you can have all your appliances fixed, now send your money to this address

 

 

 *anyplace in India *

 

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Hi! Thieverpedia here, and if you're like me, you love to eat butter, but hate how pure it is...

What you need is my revolutionary Satanic Butter! This evil pack of butter glows red and tastes downright evil, perfect for spreading on bread or throwing at people!

For 255 easy payments of $6.66, one stick of Satanic Butter can belong to YOU!

(Warning! Consumption may result in the burning of your soul, debaucherous acts, love of the dark lord, obesity, and fiery sweat. We are not liable for any of this and this product may just be butter with red food dye)

Order yours today at 1-800-Fakenum!

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Ladies and gentlemen!

Gather around now!

I have some very important and useful products to show YOU today!

*gets handed a bag from assistan off-stage*

*Jand begins pulling random items out of the bag*

*Different items, such as snake oil, you might be bloated posters, and nigerian prince crowns fall out of the bag*

Jand: Dude! I said fads, not frauds!

Camera guy: Huh?

Jand: Ugh. *facepalm*

Ok, gotta get something quick.

Jand pulls out a jar from the bag.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you:

Image result for empty jar

Nothing!
 

...

 

Nothing can help you with any ordinary tasks, such as finding 2 - 2.

Also, when you totally broke the cookie jar and your parents confront you about it;

whip out some nothing!

Nothing will ease the pain of SOMETHIGN!!? OUR OTHER PRODUCYT
 

*UGH UGH UGH*
*INSANITY*

Ha, ha heh heheheh,...

Image result for creepy stare

Buy.. now...!

*takes out knife and runs after the crowd*

*comes back a few seconds later with the corpse of a man*

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

 

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On 3/19/2017 at 3:19 AM, Thieverpedia said:

Satanic Butter!

Also known as Margerine... I CALL UPON THE WRATH OF PAULA DEAN!! O__O

*coughs*

Hi there, Asparagus here!

Have you ever felt that nothing you do makes any difference, like you feel miserable all the time, and just want to get out of this cycle of sadness?

Well, I've got... the same problems! :D

...

:C

:'(

...

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Hey donke here have you ever felt lonely,sad, and like your never meet that special someone? Well of course you have that's why your here isn't it? But put your self loathing ice cream away as I have the perfect deal for you! 

Don't worry about your social awkard personality no more,beacause all that can be solved using the great power of MONEY!

Think about it no first impressions no screwups just pay them the money and they are yours forever As long as money still stands.

So come on down and buy some friends and enjoy what most already have.


ONLY 78.50 per hour

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Spoiler
8 hours ago, Cyborgspaceninja said:

Now, to this extent, I sommon the hype train @Pyromailmann to the rescue

I didn't post here, you didn't need to summon me. I know why you did. And no, no hype for you. You've summoned nome, you've summoned me. You didn't need to do this. Menting isn't "Bring this person here because it's cool or funny." It's like if you're trying to get a person to see something relating to what they're talking about or mentioning them for a reason such as "I agreed with what @username said". It's not a reason to bring somebody to a thread for a meme.

Again, this is not on topic, your posts were not on topic. And my apologies in if this sounded rude. This section of my post is not on topic. So I suggest if you want to talk about this somewhere else where this is the topic, you can talk to me through messages, or in a thread you've made (I do recommend you do it via PM though, that will get you in a lot less trouble). My information is not 100% accurate as well since I'm not a dev or mod.

So here's my product.

Spray on shoes.

*drops pencil*

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Hey everyone DimWhat here and here's the new hit product, but first had this ever happened to you?

*The screen over to a different scene in which a party is happening. There is some sick beats going on in the background. There is a obviously cool guy talking to a bunch of his friends when the screen finally finishes wiping.

And that's when I said hey where's the mustard?

*Suddenly some nerd bumps into the cool guy spilling the drink all over the cool guy. The music stops with the sound of a record stopping. Everyone stares at the nerd.*

HEY! What you do that for!?

*The nerd starts stuttering*

I...er...uhm...

*The cool guy punches the nerd. The nerd falls to the ground, he's knocked out.*

INTRODUCING...

*The screen wipes to a pair of brass knuckles.*

...The physical apologyTM.

*The brass knuckles are shaped in the word "sorry."*

With these you will be able to say an apology without the hassle of thinking of what to say. Now let's try that again with The Physical ApologyTM.

*The screen over to the same scene as before.*

And that's when I said hey where's the mustard?

*Suddenly some nerd bumps into the cool guy spilling the drink all over the cool guy. The music stops with the sound of a record stopping. Everyone stares at the nerd.*

HEY! What you do that for!?

*The nerd looks the cool guy in the face and punches him in the face. The cool guy hits the ground. The word "sorry" is embedded in his forehead.

OH MY GOD! I THINK HE'S OUT COLD!

*Everyone crowds around the cool guy while the nerd walks out of shot like he's the real cool guy. The screen wipes back to DimWhat.*

Only 39.95 order now it's guaranteed to work every time. In fact if it doesn't you get to buy another for double the price.

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My mother once said "MAKE ME SOME SOUP OR GET A JOB GODDANM IT" 

So now I bet your all thinking "What's the new product by Walrus inc. Tm "

It's the SUPER SOUPER folks for all your souping needs

It's handle is crafted from fetuses of seven dead babies, ostrich repellent, five different spoon types, and lastly a two dollar bill despencer(must insert two dollar bills, batteries not included) 

also it makes soup

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