Auth

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  1. I was actually going to write down a structured argument for who would win, but alas, all the mario kart games play differently, and I would need to know what exactly which game's physics, items, and mechanics are being used, and if it's a more modern title like Mario Kart 8, I'd need to know what kind of kart they were using with what wheels/glider, and most importantly, I'd need to figure each survivor's weight.

    For now, I'll just go with the original mario kart.

    After doing Very Advanced Math(™)...

    Standard Willow would probably win the race.

    Wurt would be the first to be knocked off rainbow road.

    Wait. She's not an option. Crap.

    Wilba, then, I guess. Not going to factor in alternate forms for anybody as that seems like a waste of time, and I feel like giving Wigfrid a gun would cause her to just up and kill whoever's in first. While an interesting alternative to the blue shell, I don't feel like I should calculate the airspeed velocity of a battle spear fired from a speargun.

    That and Woodleg's "All Legs" option makes me think that he has his 2 formerly missing (presumed dead) legs, and also has his peg legs glued onto his sides somewhere or something. Either way, not a pleasant thought and even less pleasant Very Advanced Math(™).

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