PandaWaffles

You have a very nice pair of pet torches. They look so cute when they're napping by the fire pit. Are they twins? How old are they?

Killing tips: If you're in a rock biome, lead it to a tallbird. The tallbird will win the fight with a bit of health left, but you can help the koalefant win the fight, then finish off the adorable mass of meat. It'll result in like 10 meat + a tallbird egg if one's been laid. If you're near a swamp, lead it to a tentacle. It really won't be hard at all. The only problem with this method is getting the meat since it'll be surrounding the tentacle. As long as you're patient and not too greedy, you probably won't get hit though.

Those sound like very expensive instruments. Where did you buy them?

Maybe a giant poster of Seth and his potato cup. I'd definitely hang that in my room.

I'll admit, I was kinda expecting Charlie to be a vicious mole-worm.

Yeah, I'd love to run around with a piece of paper on my head. Wait, you mean that wasn't a hat?

Collect a lot of grass and sticks, then use them to craft a hell of a lot of traps. Just plop them down near a spider nest and then lure some spiders into them for silk, spider glands, and monster meat (you'll probably need all three, including the monster meat). You can use the silk for all your bee box fantasies, the glands for tell-tale hearts/healing salves, and monster meat for a bunch of great stuff I'll explain later. Also make sure you have these things built: birdcage, crock pot, and night light. You'll want to catch a lot of butterflies and plant them as flowers near your bee boxes. After you have a pretty decent amount planted (I'd say about 15), get someone with the least lag, or minimal lag (preferably the host) to go butterfly hunting for the next couple days. It's really easy; just study the butterfly flying motions, and when they stop moving for a bit, move closer to attack them and they'll drop butterfly wings (or butter, if you're lucky). If you find that clicking them is too hard, press ctrl + F on your keyboard to perform an auto-attack; it makes it a lot easier. You will want to collect at least 40 butterfly wings, but that shouldn't be too much of a problem if you stay focused. Also, make sure you be wary of Krampus; killing butterflies does raise naughtiness levels, so you're likely to spawn a Krampus. Not too hard to kill if you have friends. Once you have your butterfly wings (will take approx. 2 days, if you have the flowers planted), take 4 pieces of your monster meat and feed it to a friendly test subject pig. Drop all your butterfly wings on the ground and shed a tear as the werepig plows through your 2 days' worth of work and leaves behind a fat stack of manure. Oh yeah, you might wanna do this in the middle of some beehives so that your pet werepig attacks a random beehive instead of you after he's done eating. Bonus meat when he dies! Just make sure you're far enough so that he doesn't target you. You can now use the manure to fertilize your bushes. When winter gets here, you won't be able to use butterflies or farms or berry bushes for food, but if you have your bird cage and a steady supply of monster meat, you'll be fine. Cook the monster meat and feed it to your bird and it'll exchange it for an egg. If you use this recipe: 2 eggs + 1 morsel + 1 monster meat at the crock pot, you'll create bacon and eggs, which is a pretty nifty recipe. Fills up a decent portion of hunger. For the morsel, you can hunt for rabbits or build a bird trap with all that extra silk. Probably also won't hurt to hunt MacTusk every now and then. I've heard that walrus meat is very satisfying.

I don't know what I'd do without at least 20 tentacle spots in my inventory at all times

Of course it would make Wilson stronger than everyone else; everyone knows that Wilson's the best character ever. It would only make sense if he could run around beating things up with a weapon that he grew himself. Also, have you seen the length of Wilson's beard? xD

Okay so it's being apparently noticeable that the meat effigy sucks for multiplayer (why waste perfectly good meat and wood on something that costs only like 5 grass). Now I know what you're thinking: just don't make the meat effigy then. But with multiplayer, you can expect to see about 3 primitive dapper gentlemen scientists scurrying around your world at all times. And then, when winter ends and all of them are still alive (since they're such an invasive species), they'll be ready to shed their thick woolly beards. And in a couple weeks, you could have chestfuls of beard hair. The only uses for beard hair are the meat effigy and fuel for the firepit, and it seems horribly wasteful to just throw a character-specific item into the fire to fend off the darkness; I know his beard is free, but come on, most Wickerbottoms probably wouldn't throw their 2 free pieces of papyrus into a fire just because it was free. So, here's a modest proposal. We bring in a new craftable item: the beard hair whip. If we can make horsetail whips in real life, why can't we make whips out of beard hair too? Not necessarily a suggestions, I'm looking for your opinions, so there's no need for anyone to ask me to move this to the suggestions thread. inb4 Wilson singing "I whip my (beard) hair back and forth"

I can't hear you over the sound of the insanity ambience Plus I decided to rip my ears off to see what they taste like. It tastes like regret.

Oh my gosh, that's the most adorable spider I've ever seen.