Friend can't see/join my hosted server, nor can I see/join her hosted server

So basically we can't see each others servers

oddly enough we can see all the other servers on the lobby browser and join any of them, just not each others.  she lives about 2 hrs away from me.

she sent me a sreenshot of what happens when she tries to join me through steam:

and heres my screenshot for when i try to join her:



what do i need to do lmao