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WebbertheFourteenth

Grue's chitchat with Maxwell.

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(QUESTION FOR MAXWELL) Maxwell, can you please destroy these 13 pig houses Wilson put around my spider den? I can't do my stupid job to kill him if these pigs kill me instead :c. If you are asking how a spider got a computer, I kind-of stole his old one at night while he was sleeping in a straw roll.

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Dr.Cox    10

Chitchat 7 incoming to satisfy you.

Grue: You see this? [Click]

Maxwell: Damn Wilson looks insane on this picture. Even a butterfly says ''Hey! Listen!''.

Grue: YOU DON'T SAY.

Maxwell: [Facepalm]

Grue: Yeah, his legs are fabulous on this picture with the glowing butterfly.

Maxwell: Kinda cartoonish.

Grue: You don't have a damn taste in art.

Maxwell: True. [LowersHead,SuperSad]

Grue: [ThrowsPaperAtMaxwell] We are stockpiled now.

Maxwell: What the... [PicksUpPaper] These are questions again.

Grue: Mhm. Now read.

Maxwell: I tought-

Grue: READ.

Maxwell: [sigh] This question is for Grue and questioned by TheKillerCat6486.

''Q: if you had the world at your finger tips what would you do with the hole world?''

And I know definealy what Grue will do-

Grue: PONIES AND RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS AND HETALIA CHARACTERS EVERYWHERE

Maxwell: Bingo...

Anywho, to the next question. This question is for Grue. And questioned by Dr.Seezme.

''Mr.Grue, are the hands that steal my campfire's fire yours?

If they are, could you tell me the name of that wicked awesome music box solo you play?''

Grue: Yeah, I think so. And about that music box I think you mean a Harmonica. I don't play any instruments. But I do love violins and plan to buy one in future.

Maxwell: I tought you like Harmonica most?

Grue: Harmonica is my second favorite and I have one. I usually play random tunes while its dark in your godforsaken purgatory.

Maxwell: Mhm. [NotPayingAttention] This question is for Grue and questioned by stormfront.

''oooh grue I just pondered do you get along with the shadow monsters?

what are they like? do you hang out with them ever? because you all like biting people on the butt...''.

Grue: Shadow monsters?

Maxwell: From the insanty update. When Wilson gets insane a little they'll show up shortly.

Grue: I don't like these guys.

Maxwell: They are going to kill you and try to be in the rank ''Grue''. Like a frickin' alpha wolf pack.

Grue: Daddy.... [HidesBehindMaxwell]

Maxwell: You do realise you can't be hurt by other creatures nor shadow monsters? your invicible.

Grue: Really? [sniff]

Maxwell: Yes. Now get off my fabulous coat before you snort it.

Grue: Gonn' snort it.

Maxwell: No. NO NO DONT YOU

Grue: [snooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooort]

Maxwell: GODDAMNIT.

Grue: [GigglesInsanely] I like lullaby.

Maxwell: [sigh] Heres another one. It is for me and questioned by WebbertheFourteenth.

''Maxwell, can you please destroy these 13 pig houses Wilson put around my spider den? I can't do my stupid job to kill him if these pigs kill me instead :c. If you are asking how a spider got a computer, I kind-of stole his old one at night while he was sleeping in a straw roll.''

Sorry but not my problem. Hehe.

Grue: Damn your so mean.

Maxwell: I know. [smokes]

Grue: [smashesTheCiggarAway] Smoking is bad!

Maxwell: [LightsANewOne]

Grue: Damn you.

...

I uploaded the two pictures on Instagram and Wilson commented.

Maxwell: Uploaded what? [NotPayingAttention]

Grue: The two pictures naked at youreself and Wilson is laughing like heck right now.

Maxwell: [staresAtGrue]

Grue: ...

Maxwell: [LeEyeTwitches]

Grue: Sorry....

Maxwell: [smashesGrueWithAFrypingPanAndThenAnotherSuperFightGoingOnOmfgYouSatisfiedYet]

Even more father and son love!

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stormfront    26

for both Maxwell and the grue what are your opinons on Wes you know being that hes a creepy mimealso is there any truth to the rumor that Maxwell ate too much discounted after v-day chocolate and is now a fat ass?(also I have swapped all of Maxwell's keys for smelly european cheese)

Edited by stormfront

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Aries    10

This is directed towards Maxie-poo (Maxwell)Why did you make the Grue, well the Grue. By that I mean did you intentionally make his personality like that or was it on accident?

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Dr.Cox    10

Chitchat 8 incoming to satisfy you.

Grue: EY DADDY

Maxwell: [VoiceComesFromUpstairs] DONT CALL ME DAD.

Grue: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Maxwell: FACEBOOK.

Grue: WHY?

Maxwell: Y'KNOW WHY, GRUE. YOU KNOW WHY.

Grue: COLLECTIN' FANGIRLS?

Maxwell: TRYING.

Grue: OKAY, I'LL.. I'll... Go and do the questions by myself. Not.

[swishes to Krampus's room.]

Hey.... Krampus.

Krampus: Yo.

Grue: 'Cha doing?

Krampus: Nothing.

Grue: Your writing something.. Oooooooh is that a diary?

Krampus: NO IT IS NOT GO AWAY.

Grue: [GrabsTheBook] Yoink!

Krampus: GIMME IT OH MY GOD ASEDRTGHJUW

Grue: [TakesALookInTheBook]

BAHAHAHA OMFG ITS A DIARY!-

Wait.

Krampus.

It's not a diary. Nor book.[shaking]

Krampus: I KNOW I TOLD YOU IT IS NOT A DIARY ITS A FRICKIN MAGAZINE!

Grue: Oops.

Playboy?

Krampus: Yep. Have the whole collection. Want some?

Grue: Sure. [TakesABuntWithPlayboyAndSwishesAwayQuickly] DADDY! KRAMPUS IS READING PLAYBOY..!

Krampus: YOU ******! I TOUGHT WE WAS GOOD BROS THAT DIDN'T TOLD SECRETS N' STUFF.

Grue: SORRY BRAW BUT YOUR THE WORST BROTHER.

Maxwell: WHAAAAAAT?

Grue: KRAMPUS HAS IRONY AND BEEN VERY BAD.

Maxwell: GIVE THAT TO ME.

Grue: Here you go. [ThrowsItAtMaxwell]

You'll come downstairs soon, aren't you?

Maxwell: And why is that? [TwitchesEye]

Grue: Question time.

Maxwell: OH GODDAMN !½¤?!£###¤"¤!¤)%)t#"()/%jcjyhsdiuhyur!"#(!!!!

Grue: Tallyho! [swishesDownstairs]

[Meanwhile]

Grue: Ooh dear god.

Maxwell: ITS DEAR ****.

Grue: Jajajajajajajaja, here. Look how much questions we have.

Maxwell: Not bad. [smokes]

Grue: Shall we begin?

Maxwell: GO.ALL.READY.

Grue: Damn, you've smoked to much, dad.

Maxwell: STOP CALLING ME DAD. YOU WAS JUST A FREAK THAT I GAVE BIRTH WITH MY HANDS.

Grue: I came from your hands?

Maxwell: NO. YOU CAME FROM... EH.. EHH.... THAT UGLY SPIDER QUEEN'S HANDS.

Grue: But she doesn't have hands-

Maxwell: GO ALREADY IM NOT YOUR DAD.

Grue: Okay, here is the first question, questioned by RetroGamer2000 and it is for Maxwell.

''One Question for Maxwell, i heard that you are working on putting Winter into your World... Erm.. Mind...

Are you excited to see Wilson Freeze to death. *Question mark*''.

Maxwell: YES IM SO EXCITED TO SEE THAT LADY STEALER DIE.

Grue: Your creepy.

Anywho, heres another question. Also for Maxwell and questioned by WX-78 itself!

''A question for Maxwell, why did you activate the WX-7 generation robots and put them into your "NotPurgatory"?''.

Maxwell: SO THEY CAN TURN INSANE AND SAY ''CRUSH KILL DESTROY SWAG'' WILSON

Grue: That's... That's from that My Little Pony funny version... Thing... Rainbow dash.. Swag robots.. Creators of... Apple.mov

Maxwell: DAMN YOUR SLOW.

Grue: Your scaring me totally.

Anywho, heres another one. Questioned by WebberTheFourtheenth, and is for me.

''New question, now for the grue:

What do you do in your spare time, besides talking to Maxwell?''

Ehm.

Eeeeh..

Eeeh. I usually go and draw. Browse forums... Play games... And... Tease my brother Krampus. And maybe talk with my cousin Spider Queen... Usually TRY to atleast to hang out with the shadow monsters... But they try to bite my arse. Depsite being invincible.

Maxwell: OKAY IM OUT OF HERE.

Grue: Daddie wai-

Maxwell: IM NOT YOUR DAD.

Grue: Jajajajaja, but there is some questions left that is ment for you.

Maxwell: OKAY JUST

FIVE

GODDAMN

MINUTES.

OKAY?

Grue: Okay.

Heres another one.. I do believe I answered stormfront's question in the comments.. About.. Link.. Pictures...

Oh well. Here it is. Questioned by TheKillerCat6486 and it's for me and Maxwell..

''Q (for both of you Maxwell and grue) : now that Wilson can go insane what's the funniest thing you have seen him do? '',

Well, blood came from his mouth if he gets that insane. I saw him run around with just his FABULOUS MAGICAL GRAY boxers on, believe his clothes got ripped by hounds. And then drowned his head on a pond nonstop and rolled around the grass like he was on fire.

Maxwell: KILLED BY GRUE.

Grue: Okay I think that's enough.

Heres another question. Questioned by stormfront and is for me and Maxwell.

''for both Maxwell and the grue what are your opinons on Wes you know being that hes a creepy mime

also is there any truth to the rumor that Maxwell ate too much discounted after v-day chocolate and is now a fat ass?

(also I have swapped all of Maxwell's keys for smelly european cheese)''

Maxwell: NO IT IS NOT TRUE I DONT HAVE TIME TO EAT V DAY CHOCHOLATES. AND WES DESERVES TO DIE. HE HAS NO SOUL AND CANT DO ANYTHING

Grue: Now your getting very mean at poor ol' Wes. [sniff]

I think hes a cute mime, he just needs to find what he is great at. Afterall he can ride the invinsible bicycle like no other mimes, like Raven said.

Maxwell: [EyeTwitches]

Grue: I think you should go to a hospital.

Anyway, heres another question, questioned by WX-78, and is for me.

''Ey Charlie, ask Maxwell whether he likes Kevin''

Dear ol Maxwell. Do you like Kevin?

Maxwell: I

I

UH.

I

LIKE

KEVIN

JUST A NICE DUDE. ATLEAST HE ISNT STEALING MY PRECIOUS FANGIRLS.

Grue: Seriously, how many do you have left?

Maxwell: [sniff] Only 20 fangirls left.

Grue: Damn.

Heres another question. Questioned by Aries and is for Maxwell.

''This is directed towards Maxie-poo (Maxwell)

Why did you make the Grue, well the Grue. By that I mean did you intentionally make his personality like that or was it on accident?''

Maxwell: The worst mistake of my life. EVER.

Grue: I like balloons and ponies. [sticksTongueOutAndSnickersLikeCrazy]

Maxwell: YOU SEEING THIS? ARIES!?

THE WORST

MISTAKE OF MY LIFE

CREATING HIM

WITH MY HANDS.

Grue: [sniff]

Maxwell: [PatsGrue'sHead] Goddamnit Grue, don't cry.

Grue: Your a meanie.

Maxwell: Give me the paper.

Grue: No.

Maxwell: Just give me the-

Grue: Noo!

Maxwell: GIVE IT

TO ME

ÄAAAAAAAAAERTFGRÖÄÅPÖTRHÖRT

Grue: [GivesThePaperToMaxwell,FrightenedAndCreepedOutByMaxwell.]

Maxwell: [DeepBreath] This question is questioned by TheKillerCat6486. And is for me.

''Q to Maxwell : if you made grue why do you HATE him so much ? ''

.....

Pass.

Grue: NO YOU BETTER TELL ME.

WHY DO YOU FRICKIN' HATE ME, TELL ME IM A MISTAKE, A FREAK THAT WAS BORN DISFORMED IN CHERNOBYL BUT ACTUALLY BORN FROM YOUR HANDS AS YOU USED MAGIC AND STUFF

WHY THE HECK CANT YOU JUST SEE ME AS A REGULAR SON OR DAUGHTER OR WHATEVER, I DONT EVEN HAVE A GENDER. IM JUST A HYBRID.

Maxwell: Because, BOYS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO WATCH MY LITTLE PONY

AND DISOBEY IT'S OWN FATHER AND TRADE ALL MY COPY HOUSE KEYS FOR PONY PLUSHIES FOR SOME RANDOM GUY

AND THEN ALLOW HIM TO TRY PUSH A BEEFALO INTO MY KITCHEN BUT ENDED INTO MY CAR

EVEN THE WORST OF ALL, SHOWED THE GODDAMN NAKED PICTURES OF MYSELF IN THE SHOWER FOR WILSON.

Grue: FIRST. IM NOT A BOY. SECOND, I DIDNT PUSH A BEEFALO INTO YOUR KITCHEN BUT ENDED IN YOUR CAR

THIRD, I DID TRADE THE PLUSHIES AND THE NAKED PICTURES STUFF

HAPPY NOW

HAPPY

WHY DO YOU HATE ME MORE THAN WILSON

YOUR SUPPOSED TO HATE

HIM

HES

STEALING YOUR FANGIRLS

WHAT THE HECK DID I DO TO EVEN YOU?

Maxwell: Just, let's finish these questions.

Grue: NO WE SHALL NOT

EXPLAIN TO ME

WHY ARE YOU HATING ME SO MUCH THAN WILSON

WHY

Maxwell: SHUT UP AND ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS ALREADY!

[TakesADeepBreath,EyeTwitches]

This question is questioned by Lordfiscus and is for Grue.

''Question for the Grue: do you exclusively hunt Wilson, or pigs too?''

Grue: Usually hunt them for sport.

So for example, theres a pig that Wilson allied with, and hes called maybe

uh

Demertine or something. And when night comes, I go and eat Demertine and when the day comes, another pig will replace Demertine and Wilson will think that he's Demertine. So. Yeah.

He found out that he wasn't Demertine very fast. Demertine only had one ear. The other one was cut. The clone Demertine had two ears.

So he got suspicious fast.

I mean fast.

Pure genious. You should hire him.

Maxwell: Heres another one. For Grue aswell and questioned by Will.

''Are those hands that steal the fire your hands?''

Grue: Yes. I play the lullaby to distract you as I extinguish it.

I hate lights.

Yet you force me to go to school, Maxwell. That is fullpacked with lights. So I had to simply live with it forever. Classmates looks weird at me. They are afraid of me too.

Maxwell: [NotPayingAttention] Another one, questioned by Mr.MonsterMeat, ohoh, what a suprise. It is also for me.

''Maxwell, Why did you make me able to hurt people when they eat me? I want to be eaten! Not used as bait for hounds!''

Clearly I made you for entertainment to make the whole fun with hounds and death if you eat to much monster meat. So sorry.

Grue: I'll go to bed.

Maxwell: You don't even sleep.

Grue: Still, i'll steal Krampus's bed. He can sleep under yours as punishment.

Maxwell: Uhm.. Night.

Grue: Night, ******. [swishUpstairs]

Maxwell: I also wonder why I hate him. I'm one of a bad father.

Also, heres the upcoming suprise.

There shall be a little story, that will delay the chitchats for a while. It shall be called, ''In search for fangirls'', a funny humor fanfiction about of course, Maxwell, and me to aid him.

I will write it tomorrow. Need to go to Krampus's bed, depsite I never sleep.

Well.

Tallyho, and thanks for all the support. Without you all, the chitchats wouldn't even be made in real life as you have questions. Without questions. Chitchats would be nothing. Soulles. Empty.

I thank you so much for that, and for that, I shall give you bacon and eggs.

[Gives]

Enjoy the meal. Got it from Wendy's.

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Aries    10

To my favorite Grue,

How exactly do you look in appearance? Are you humanoid, bug-like or what? Also maybe a bit of other details would be nice.

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Dr.Cox    10

Yes, Webber. All of the spiders are my second cousins. Clearly i'm related to almost all of the monsters. Those Jackalope rabbits are my brothers, too. Pigs are also my cousins. Gobblers is my cousin aswell.

Also, to answer these questions quickly before I start with my ''In search for fangirls'',.

Grue: Here ya go. [smashWithThePaper]

Maxwell: Again?

Grue: C'mon, it's just three questions.

Maxwell: No.

Grue: DADDY!

Maxwell: YOUR NO-[Hestihates] Ugh, fine.

Heres a question, questioned by TheKillerCat6486, and for Grue.

''Q for grue : if your brothers with Krampus and cousins with a Spider Queen how r the family meals (carnage?)?''

Grue: Just good. We usually get our own special food. I don't eat but I only eat just to feel the pleasure of taste. So... I usually eat Pig meat and Jackalope meat.

Spider Queen eats her husband after mating. And it's not fun because her husband's dead corpse is taking the whole place on the table. So we have to hold our plates. Krampus... Well... Only naughtyness satisfies him but atleast he eats those berries Gobblers like, and Monster Meat. Sometimes french fries. Maxwell eats... Uh...

Maxwell: I eat normal food just like any ordinary human. But if I get that evil I mightaswell eat human.

Grue: Not fun either. Takes most of the place in our table.

Maxwell: True. Hehe.

Heres another question, for Grue aswell and questioned by Aries. Again.

''To my favorite Grue,

How exactly do you look in appearance? Are you humanoid, bug-like or what? Also maybe a bit of other details would be nice.''

Grue: I don't know. I'm just plain darkness. But Maxwell thinks i'm some kind of a shadowy ghost ... With long rabbit ears... Also heres some details that are true. My insane smile, that always smiles. And my white empty eyes. Just. Those two.

Maxwell: Yep.

Here is the last question. It has two questions at the same time and for Grue. Questioned by our dear ol' stormfront.

''Grue if you could bite any celebrity on the butt who would it be?

also grue if you are invincible what would happen if you fought chuck norris?''

Grue: First, I would bite Justin Bieber and tear him to pieces.

Maxwell: That's my son.

Grue: BUT I TOUGHT YOU SAID I WASN'T-

Maxwell: GO ON WITH THE QUESTIONS.

Grue: And second... Even Chuck Norris himself can't hit me. Clearly i'm the one who can hurt you.

And here it is, ''In search for fangirls!''

Instead of typing the story like this:

Maxwell: hi

Grue: bacon likes sirmentlegen

Maxwell: lol

It will be then instead typed like this, however i'm awful at it and takes longer time, So i'll try my best.

''Grue, breakfast is ready!'', Maxwell shouted as I was upstairs sleeping under Krampus's bed. It was nice and comfy there, and I was to tired to leave. But no one says ''no'' for breakfast. Not for Maxwell. Ever.

It's just me, Grue. Maxwell is my dad, but he says all the time i'm not. My big brother is Krampus and Hell Hound and the hounds. I'm related to so many people and monsters. My uncle, Maxwell's brother, helped him to make this ''NotPurgatory'' and made him a Spider Queen for this ''NotPurgatory''. So, let's say we are cousins. Spider Queen also got childrens. Way to many. They are my second cousins. And Maxwell's father, my grandpa. Is **** himself. I don't know Maxwell's mother tho. Never meeted her. I usually reffer her to ''Miss ****''. We usually have heritage dinner and meetings together.

And I gotta tell you.

**** is creepy. I hate heritage meetings and dinner. Luckily we only have it once a month.

But I swoshed downstairs and quickly sat at the chair next to the table. The breakfast was ready. It was some slices of Jackalope meat to me, Krampus was already there too. For him it was also some slices of Monster Meat. Maxwell probably already ate. So. Yeah.

''I got here first.'', he bragged. We usually have competitions of who got up first and to the breakfast table. Krampus beats me all the time. Not fair.

I folded my arms and tried to look angry at him. The thing is, I can't. I always smile. It is permament. It's impossible for my smile to turn into sad or angry. Just impossible. Atleast my eyes told him i'm pissed off at him. I can glare at him tho. So atleast that's possible. I sticked my tongue at him. But Krampus fought back and spitted at me. While sticking his tongue out.''Eew! Daddy, Krampus spitted at me while he sticked his tongue out!''

''Just eat your goddamn dinner already!'', the voice came from the living room. Seems my dad is watching Wilson getting killed. The only thing that entertains him. Makes him laugh and smile.

Krampus looked at me teasefully and sticked his tongue out again. ''KO:ed!'', he wishpered, grabbing the fork and stabbing the small slice of monster meat. I quickly wipped off all the spit and digged in. But then I got a nice plan as payback to Krampus. I ate everything at once, and waited. And waited. I snickered phsycopathly as Krampus looked at me and realized i'm going to do something.

''BUUURP!'', I burped right at Krampus's face.

Krampus's most funniest reaction was delivered just in a nanosecond. ''Oh bloody hell you **** buttlicker, sometimes you chase helicopters!'', I laughed like insane immedieatly. When I burped Krampus's accent quickly switched to Brittish and he says weird comebacks, he usually says ''sometimes you chase helicopters!''. I love burping when i'm close to him. I can even hear Maxwell snicker from the living room. Burping is Krampus's worst weakness.

okay ppl are you satisfied yet kk next part im going to like totally make it more entertaining plz can u let me go eat breakfast now.

plz?

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"Spider Queen eats her husband after mating."

O_o too much detail

- - - Updated - - -

also with the idea of making it like this " 'Grue, breakfast is ready!'', Maxwell shouted as I was upstairs sleeping under Krampus's bed. It was nice and comfy there, and I was to tired to leave. But no one says ''no'' for breakfast. Not for Maxwell." its a good plan :)

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