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Grue's chitchat with Maxwell.


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Sir Grue, I dare-ask what becomes of you beasts when you die! I understand that you yourself have never died, but how does your relative, Krampus, describe it? Does he feel nothing but blindness and numbness in his death until Maxwell realizes he's not home in time for tea and re-spawns him? Is there a collection of meat effigies in your backyard? Is he simply playing dead and teleporting away so he can avoid being pummeled further?

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Heres page two. I gotta say guys, questions are delayed and I promise, once chitchats are back I shall answer them.

''Aren't you supposed to be in school today?'', Maxwell glared at me. Wait, what?

''What school?'', I shrugged.

Maxwell facepalms as he mumbles trough the hand. ''Your in a elementary school so I can increase your dumb IQ.''.

''Naw, to lazy to go. Tell them I vomitted and feel horrible today.'', I snickered. Maxwell sighs and I can hear his fabulous shoes clamper as he goes upstairs. He looks depressed as usual. He is upstairs mostly to check how many fangirls he have left. Remember the last chitchat?, he said he only have 20 left. And now it's a crisis. About 10 decided to follow Wilson instead of him... So.... 20-10... Is... 10... Right?.

''Krampus!'', I swoshed upstairs aswell and dived into Krampus's tiny room. It only contains a bed. He sleeps ontop on it and I sleep under the bed. And theres a shelf, with some stuffs and books and a cute mini tabble with a mini TV ontop. Nothing more. ''Kra-...Mpus?'', he was taking a nap and then I started to smile even bigger. When someone is sleeping, then it's my tradition to wake it up. In a rainbow way. I flew out in the hall and onto Spider Queen's room, lended her computer a little and then swoshed back to Krampus's room. Our house is a huge, creepy mansion in countryland. So who lives there is many, Maxwell, me and Krampus, Spider Queen and deep under the mansion is like a catacombh, a maze full with spiders and spider warriors. Those are my secound cousins and they sleep there. Where my brother jackalopes live, I do not honestly know. Probably outside, with a hole and the underground being a maze aswell.

I placed the computer next to the mini TV. Started to go in youtube, and typed. ''HEYYEAHYEAHHEHE 10 Hour''. In full volume. In full FRICKIN' volume. Techno party. Yay. The music did the rest of the job as the reaction came not in just some few seconds. Krampus startled like some fish and rolled around in the bed as he ended up falling to the floor and I laughed insane. I coughed for real because laughing is such a tough job for me. Krampus stared me with his angry kitty cat eyes and he hissed. ''Ey, big brother, what is 20-10?'', I screamed as loud as I could to win over the sound from HEYYEAHYEAH song.

It almost looked like Krampus wants to tear of his face. But instead he punched the pillow as he screamed ''IT. IS. 10. YOU. NAUGHTY. LITTLE. ******!'', he hissed. Oops. Gotta go. I quietly flew out of the room and closed the door quietly behind me. The hall was quiet if you count the music away. ''Sniff..'', I just heard. Is someone crying?

Then I heard the tissue getting blown from the wind of nostrils. Like a trumphet. Someone is really crying. Or just sniffing. A doggie?

I swoshed trough the hallway as I heard the sound of sniffing getting closer. I ended up in Maxwell's room. ''Daddy is sad.'', I wishpered and flew closer. He was sitting there with the computer and a tissue box next to him. Don't tell me more fangirls start to follow Wilson?

''Daddy?'', I flew closer untill I saw the screen. It was the list of how much fangirls there where. Maxwell usually looks into it half of the day. Most likely daily.

I gasped when I saw how much there was left.

Four. Four goddang fangirls was left. Daddy's popularity is about to die.

Father and son love?... Not?..

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More.

More.

Here you go.

I tilted my head at the screen. But then I smiled hugely. ''Lightbulb....'', I wishpered proudly.

''Go away. Enough of your lightbulbs.'', Maxwell frowned, took another tissue and blewn it.

My ears lowered and I shwoshed slowly out of the room, and to downstairs, sitted at the couch. Krampus sat next to me and watched Wilson as he satisfies him by death. ''Daddy is sad'', the word just came out.

''Really?'', Krampus wasn't paying attention. ''That's nice.''.

I got furiously, yet I still smile and slapped him to make him get into reality back again. Krampus punched me in the face.

''Daddy is sad.'', I repeated.

''Why?'', he grabbed a bowl of krisps, digging in.

''Daddy only got 4 fangirls left. Any advice for new lightbulbs?''.

''Force daddy to dress into a furry Tiger. And then go to some kind of a animecon or tigercon. Girls will love it.''. He said mouthfully with krisps.

I smiled and hugged Krampus, tightly but he pushed me away. ''I'm not gay!'', he spitted krisps at me. I quickly swoshed upstairs now.

Be ready for makeup, dad.

okay so sorry for being short but umm

ur satisfied.

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Someone needs to draw a picture... This is so hilarious. I NEED to see what the grue looks like (even if he's just a dark blob) sitting at school with a bunch of children just staring at him... I also need to see Maxwell as the tiger

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Going to make more tomorrow. Miss Wickerbottom gives me to much homework.

I hate her. That's why daddy sended her to purgatory too, because she was old and not good looking too. So now we have replacement teacher for eternity most likely.

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Charlie! *glomps the grue from behind clinging to his back like a baby monkey while her face in his shadowfur* Storm taught me how to use the paint program and I made you a fanart *waves a crudely drawn doodle in grues face*

post-7492-13764591676989_thumb.png

I think grue has a fangirl

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Oh, it's a masterpiece. [Keeps it close under Krampus's bed next to the lamp, puts on the wall.]

And now.

More.

More.

More.

More.

Just as you demanded, young folks.

''Oh daaaadyyy~~'', I sang.

''Grue we are gonna have heritage meeting. So don't tell me you got another stupid lightbulb. Or Krampus's lightbulb. Plus the heritage meeting is today. So dress nice.'', Maxwell walked past Gme, going downstairs to take a look at his little starving world, including Wilson and the others.

My ears slowly fell down, and my eyes turned insanely shocked, I still smiled.

Stop smile.

Stop.

My eye twitched.

It hurt.

Owwie.

I hope daddy puts bandage.

''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'', I screamed and flew like Rainbow Dash to Krampus's room. ''KRAMPUSWEAREGOINGTOHAVEHERITAGEMEETINGITSUPERDUPERHORRIBLELIKEOMFGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'', I talked to fast and dragged my ears like insane.

''Wut?'', He was sitting in his bed, listening to music with his headphones.

''KRAMPUS.''

''What?'',

''WE.ARE.GOING.TO.HAVE.HERITAGE.MEETING!!'', Every word I said, my voice raised and I twirled around my body, dragging my ears even more with thousands of arm from my darkness body.

''CONTACT SOVIET RUSSIA, WE GOT A PROBLEM HERE!'', Krampus ran out from his room, and ran downstairs. But started to hear falling sounds. Like a fatty falling downstairs. Hard. Dunk dunk, dunk, dunk, it sounded. Then stopped. I think Krampus fell downstairs.

I swoshed downstairs ghostly to see how he is doing. Well. I was right. He was so shocked he fell downstairs. He got slowy up, and stared insanely at me. ''WE NEED TO ESCAPE. YOU AND I. BROTHERS. BROS.'', this was the first time ever he wanted to do something with me in centuries. God.

''I KNOW WE SHOULD TOTALLY GO DOWN TO LIL BROTHER'S JACKALOPE'S HOLE.''

''I KNOW.'', Krampus started to drag his ears too.

''Your grandmother will come'', Maxwell walked past me, and sat at the couch with a dunk, and watched Wilson survive in the purgatory. Aswell other people, like Wolfgang.

''Oh.''

''Yeah... Right. Maybe not escape.'',

''Don't even think the tought of it.'', Maxwell's voice was super pissed off.

''Okay.'', we both said in a low pitch feared voice. We limped upstairs, to Krampus's room.

Atleast I'll meet Miss ****. Will be exciting but defineatly not ****.

Maybe my makeup plan won't be happening soon. I'll invade your face dad. Maybe one day.

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More.

Here you go.

Huzzah.

Krampus and I was sitting on the bed in Krampus's room. We stared at the clock. Each time it ticked, we sweat even more and our eyes became more insane. We dressed nice just like our dad told. Krampus put on a vest that is like Wilson's. It's black. And mine is same, except that the colour is pink. Krampus keeps teasing me that i'm gay. But i'm not. I put it just specially for my aunt because my aunt loooooooooooves pink. She likes red at the same time. So I didn't knew what to choose. So I took pink.

My aunt.

Well, shes insane as Mika. Mika is just a insane classmate of mine that is naked, but she has a kitty cat coat on. Her hair is purple. Tied by two pigtails.

I think I have a crush on her.

Anywho, my aunt looks like Alice from Alice Madness Returns. She has the same thights and dress type. Her necklacke isn't this sign that shows a end will come tho, it's a upside down cross.

Her hair is black and sleeky. Shoulder length.

I have a uncle aswell. Uncle and aunt are younger than Maxwell. So Maxwell is older than them. Eldest.

I love aunt. Krampus loves uncle. Krampus usually highfives with uncle when they do something fun together.

But I returned to reality and my eyes started to twitch even more when I heard door smashing and alot of voices. ''Grue..! Krampus..!, go downstairs, they are here!'', Maxwell shouted to overhear the other low voices.

''C...Con...Contact Soviet Russia...'', Krampus shaked. He stood up from the bed and slowly walked downstairs, I followed behind him.

**** and uncle and aunt, and Miss ****, Maxwell too was in the living room. Spider queen was there, lil brother jackalopes, my nephew gobblers.

My cousins spider. Living room is crowded with all species from the purgatory i'm related to. Except the shadow monsters. They are created by Wilson onceh is mind goes merry-go-round.

We sat at the huge chair. All the species from the purgatory looked at us. Uncle sat thight next to **** and she almost cried when she saw me and my cute vest. My aunt loves me sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much.

''Ohmygodohmygodohmygod your such a cuuutieee!'', Aunt ran up to me, her red eyes where big and shining, and grabbed my cheek, like she usually did when I was little. And had feets, too. Now I'm nothing but a feetless ghost. But seeing the sight of my happy aunt is what makes me happy.

''Oogie Boogie boogie...!!'', Aunt shook my body, tickling me as she dragged my cheek. She used it to cheer me up as a baby. I still laugh when she does this.

''Auntie can we play the death game!?'', I shook from the grips of aunt and twirled around my body tight, grinning at her.

''Well of course...!'', she jumped and sat on my shadowy hand. ''But not now... Daddy wants to speak!'', her voice was innocent and sugar sweet, but deep inside her shes mad and insane. She was stuck in a asylum many times, across the world. Like Mika.

Death game is my favourite. Aunt and I murder eachother. Sometimes Mika is in my backyard smashing zombies, she competites the game aswell. Only very rarely.

I love that game so much.

But.

Wait.

Where is miss ****?

''Daddy?'', I interrupted Maxwell in the middle of his talk to ****.

''What...!?'', his teeth grinned madly. He was pissed off.

''Where is miss ****?'', I tilted my head.

''Tricked you. Miss **** aint here.'', Maxwell snickered and took a smoke.

My eye twitched hard. I'm going to sit here for 7 hours. Atleast I'll play death game with aunt and smash zombies in my backyard.

Yippie dippie.

Also, heres a extra, it's when Grue is in school. This happened before Grue came home and the heritage meeting began.

I was in the classroom. Everyone stared at me. Except Mika.

Oh yeah, about her.

I SIT NEXT TO HER TODAY.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I can even feel my heart pound. Or it's just my brain. I don't even think I have a heart.

Shame.

Miss Wickerbottom walked back and forth with her ruler in the hand. ''Allright, now WHO painted that graffiti behind the school building?'', Wickerbottom eyed us, each pupil.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaardy hard hard.

Her eyes are sharp than Maxwell's pissed off eye fire itself.

Is she a demon?

If she is....

PREPARE THE WEDDING BECAUSE I FINALLY FOUND MY FOSTER MOTHER.

ORDER RUSSIAN MATROUSKIJA DOLLS AND RUSSIAN SIBIRIAN TIGERS

ITS GONNA BE A PARTAAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Or maybe not. I don't even think Maxwell will marry such a oldie anyway.

Eww.

I don't have a mommie.

But now that she mentions about the graffiti, I know who did it. But I won't tell.

It was Ryan, the class's cool hipster. He bullies me. I grinned.

''What's so funny, Grue?'', Miss Wickerbottom looked at me. Looking pissed off than ever. EVER.

''Tshkk..'', I snickered. I decided I should take the blame on me. ''I did it.'', I said sugar sweetly.

''DE.TEN.TION.'', Miss Wickerbottom tilted her head, her eyes burning even more fiercly.

Ryan looked at me, I stared back. I saw Ryan's eye glew of gratefullness. Even tearing up. That lil' wanna-be tough hipster is crying!

Hah.

''Mika did it too.'', I said.

''YOU TOO.'', Miss Wickerbottom pointed her ruler at Mika.

I love getting detentions with Mika.

So much. But she doesn't care that I drag her too with the blame and so. She just sits and stare at the wall with her grinned face and insane eyes. She stares at the wall every single class, and day. I only heard her say ONE word. Ever.

Guess what she said?

I blush so hard that I nosebleed when I think about that.

She said ''Grue'',!

ohmygodghndfghtrherhrtjdhesfegvrbthydrtv

[Meanwhile]

I sat at the classroom, it was empty. Mika and I sat close. We had paper infront of us and a pen and eraser. We was going to get the math test earlier.

I slowly turned my head and stared at her. She was still staring at that wall.

I whistled. ''So....'', I said as usual. ''You.... Like...T...Towels?'', was the only thing I could came up with.

IM

A

IDI

OT.

GOD.

OR ****.

I DONT CARE.

OMFG

RUSSIA HELP ME

TIGERS

PONIES

ANYONE.

For the first time in weeks, Mika turned her head, slowly slowly to me. I even hear her bones cracking. Grinning more than ever. She held the knife and started to snicker slowly, then higher and insaner.

AND MORE INSANER.

SHE LIKES ME.

TOTALLY.

OMFGHJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

[Meanwhile]

I'm home. Full with blood patches around my ghostly-ish body.

There you go. How do you think I got the blood patches?

No, not myself. I cannot have wounds, nor feel pain.

Mika murdered someone.

Edited by Dr.Cox
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Okay you may drag my ears now.

''So....'', **** leaned forward, face to face. ''Is there a special girl you like?''. His eyes burned.

ohmygodohmygodwhydiesheaskthisallthetimeomfggggggg

''T..T...Towels...?'', I used as a excuse to protect my secrets.

**** tilted his head. He was confused. ''Towels?''.

''Yeah...Towels... Super fluffy. Ehehe... Eh..'', I laughed, all freaked out.

''You, Krampus?'', he turned his awful attention to Krampus. I see fear in Krampus's eyes as he tries to muffle behind uncle's back.

''Aww c'mon dad, when are you gonna quit pumping secrets out of them?'', Uncle laughed as he took a bottle of wishky.

''I MUST KNOW THEM.'', he banged the table as my relatives around it fears for him so hard. ''Okay you two can go out and play. Grownup talk.'', he waved his hand away as a sign for me and Krampus to go to our room or somwhere. This was really unusual. But this was a awful good chance we got, so we ran like crazy upstairs. Aunt followed me because I told you, she loves me so much.

Okay this should do. sosorrybutimlikeawfullytired

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Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Clock is ticking.

I'm becoming insane.

eheuheueheueheueheueeheh

I'm under Krampus's bed.

Krampus is on his bed.

Heritage meeting over.

Yippie.

Sleep.

Sunrise.

Get up.

Brush teeth.

Mess around with Krampus.

''Dad..'', I flew to his room, he just stood and looked plainly himself onto the mirror.

''Go away.''.

This isn't like himself. He never told me to go away. Not in that tone.

But then I turned my head swiftly on the computer, and flew slowly closer.

What if...?

1.

ONE.

ONE FANGIRL.

KK TIME TO GO TO DONT STARVE CON.

Maxwell sniffed a little. ''All I did was putting a guy on my purgatory and everyone hates me.''.

''You keep saying your world isn't a purgatory.'' I flew closer, just behind his back. ''But it isn't a purgatory, daddy.''

''Right..'', he kept sniffing. ''I'll be right back,'', he walked back. ''After i'm done with my fourth suicide.''.

I tilted my head.

Hard.

I think I broke my neck.

But I don't feel pain.

eheueheueheueheueheuheueheurheurtyherhrtyrftgrgtyhjuk

time to go to krampus lol

10101011110000011.exe

notresponding.exe

exe.exe.exe.exe

timetogotokrampus.exe

swosh.exe

opendoor.exe

''Krampus.''. I rolled my body like a cheeseroll.

''WHAAEEEEETTTTTTTTT''. He was listening to his music.

''Daddy is going to suicide.''. I said, twitched my eye while I dared to smile.

stopsmiling.exe

please.exe

yourhurtingyourdaddysfeeling.exe

stop.exe

10001011100101000100100.exe

notresponding.exe

error.exe

error.exe

shutdown.exe

S H U T D O W N

I felt my body dizzy as I twirled my body even harder to hold myself.

''Huh...?'', Krampus was confused as he put out his earphones.

''Suicide..?''.

I fell to the floor because I felt bad.

Because I am bad.

fanficshutdown.exe

notresponding.exe

goodbye.exe

seeyoulater.exe

ifeelawful.exe

10000101010101010101111110000101010101010101.exe

h3r3 yu0 g0.exe

uwaga.exe

shutdown.exe

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I am a computer. I am made in a computer. I'm programmd to be related to most of the little monster brothers on the game.

So is Krampus. Maxwell aswell.

Remember I'm from the game Zork or whatever?

I like towels.

Here you go. Another part.

''Ghji!'', my body flashed with all the 10010101101110000 numbers.

''Big brother, I do not feel good.''.

''Of course you aren't, you all be flashy and bling bling!''.

''You said dad was gonna suicide?''.

''Mhm. This is the third time.''

''Oh.'', Krampus scratched his head.

''Yeah.''

''I'll go get the tiger suit and drag him to Don'tStarveCon. He likes me the best anyway.'', Krampus jumped out silently with his little hoove legs and opened a little secret door on his floor. That is his closet n' all the shizzle he keeps there. I can see the air getting dusty as Krampus drags out a orange suit with black stripes. And a hood with ears. He punched the suit like a berzeker to get out all the dust.

I hiccuped all of sudden when my body flashed in another green letters with 1001010101001110.

''NOW GET THE MAKEUP.'' Krampus screams again, returning to his usual self.

''Dude it's..''.

''I DONT CARE GET IT.'', Krampus stomped with his hooves.

''It's by your hip.''.

''WHAEEUT?'', he sounded like a goat. But he saw a makeup set attached to his chain belt. ''Dafuq where did it came from?''.

''A gift from your uncle.''.

''Oh.''

I snickered. ''Let's go capture dad.''.

''NO YOU GO CAPTURE HIM ILL STAY HERE AND STUFFY STUFF.

UH.

TOWELS.''

''You know towels is my phrase..''. I mumbled and swoshed to dad.

[Later]

''Daddy sleeps so well.''.

''SHUT UP I SAID HE WAS DEAD YOU FRICKIN' IDIOT BLAERHHGLNNUGTJUH''.

''But he'll get back eventually. He always gets in hell and granddad **** always revives him.''

Krampus dragged in the suit onto Maxwell while I worked on the makeup. I like to paint things on faces.

I hiccuped again and my body flashed with the letters. I should drink some water soon.

''DUDE DAFUQ MAN..!'', he became berzeker once again and dragged his horns. ''WHY DID YOU DREW A HITLER MOUSTACHE ON HIM HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A TIGER NOT HITLER WHO IS IN A TIGER SUIT WHILST IN A AMUSEMENT PARK!'', he stomped his hooves and took the makeup gear from me. And did his magical thing.

''Friendship is magic...''.

''SHUTUP WE ARE NOT FRIENDS''. He smashed me with a lipstick. I just snickered like insane in return.

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