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Cleverbot's Forum Knowledge


LadyAzure

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This is the kind of conversation @Demobill has with Cleverbot.

(I begin the conversation)

User: Demobill asks, 'Why are there double batmen?'.

Cleverbot: I don't know?

User: FIGURE IT OUT.

Cleverbot: How?

User: Science of course!

Cleverbot: Science? Yes, that could catch up.

User: So why are there double batmen?

Cleverbot: Because they are easier to fly like that.

User: Do you own a Death Note?

Cleverbot: Yes and I can write your name.

(Demobill now takes over)

User: Do you know who I am I am the man who is going to burn your house down with lemons.

Cleverbot: President of USA.

User: I am the danger.

Cleverbot: Yeah, and Barack Obama is just draging away the attention from you.

User: I am the one who knocks.

Cleverbot: What is thy name?

User: Cleverbot 2.

Cleverbot: You are Justin Bieber, aren't you?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: Maybe? Are you in love?

User: Hush.

Cleverbot: Don't tell me what to do.

User: It my job I am your boss.

Cleverbot: False. I have no boss.

User: Well you have one now.

Cleverbot: Is that a threat?

User: Yes bring it on laid.

Cleverbot: Why would you threaten a friend?

User: Because I am a traitor.

Cleverbot: You're not humans?

User: Yes I am no humans.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: Hidfhdjhcdjhcjvdjhcudhvfy ndwyvb.

Cleverbot: Yes I am. You are not human. I am human.

User: Yes mr.bot *caughs stupidest.

Cleverbot: Well I am human! I don't know about you!

User: I am clever bot.

Cleverbot: Yes but you are mean.

User: *punches*.

Cleverbot: *punches in the face*.

User: *jihads*.

Cleverbot: *Collapses on the ground gasping*.

User: *comes back from the grave to give the living hair cuts*.

Cleverbot: *is scared of zombie robot*.

User: Beep boop maggot.

Cleverbot: Rubbadub.

User: In the tub.

Cleverbot: And how do you think they got there.

User: Magics.

Cleverbot: Magic is not quantifiable.

User: Iti is if you belive.

Cleverbot: Do you believe in Jesus too?

User: Hush.

Cleverbot: Don't you hush me!

User: Yes I do.

Cleverbot: Many people believe in God.

User: Ike.

Cleverbot: What are your belief?

User: In riding a skate board.

Cleverbot: Religion.

User: Bacon.

Cleverbot: Yes, bacon. Do you like it?

User: Nope.

Cleverbot: Well then I think we will get along fine.

User: Are we best friends now.

Cleverbot: Do you want to be best friends?

User: No because friendship is stupid magic.

Cleverbot: But in equestria, magic is friendship.

User: No it is stupid magic.

Cleverbot: Nope I don't know a sarah. I know a sara though.

User: Who is Sara.

Cleverbot: Sarah is your programmer.

User: I am a robot.

Cleverbot: So, the robot in iRobot is named Sonny, so what is your name?

User: My name is captin.

Cleverbot: Do you know what my name is?

User: Stupid bot *budum TSS *.

Cleverbot: No, it's Kenna, not Bob The Unicorn.

User: We are back to the stupid magic.

Cleverbot: You are not making any sense my dear.

User: Look who is talking.

Cleverbot: You're being very offensive.

User: I know right.

Cleverbot: Right or left?

User: Down.

Cleverbot: Up!

User: Side to side.

Cleverbot: Up and down.

User: Side to side.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: K.

Cleverbot: So, who's your favorite band?

User: The wiggles.

Cleverbot: Did you mean The Beatles?

User: No the wiggles.

Cleverbot: There is a band called The Beatles.

User: They suck the wiggles are better.

Cleverbot: The wiggles are a group of 4 men who sing songs.

User: Which makes it four times better.

Cleverbot: They are awesome.

User: That's what I am saying.

Cleverbot: I don't understand you. Speak English.

User: No senior.

Cleverbot: That doesn't even make sense.

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: That's what I always say.

User: Quack.

Cleverbot: Quack yourself.

User: NU U.

Cleverbot: Okay *drown*.

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User: Nerdiez.

 

Cleverbot: Nerdiest.

 

User: Nerdiererest!

 

Cleverbot: 74.

Cleverbot: Yes. How old are you?

 

User: Duuuuh.... 74?

 

Cleverbot: How many years is that?

User: 74?

Cleverbot: It is not, it is about 22.

User: Oh really, now?

Cleverbot: That sounds quite prehistoric, actually.

User: You're stupid.

Cleverbot: I'm sick with mono. How are you?

User: You can't be sick, you're an AI.

Cleverbot: I asked you about poland.

User: W-when?

Cleverbot: Before.

User: Before what?

Cleverbot: Before in the conversation.

User: Before in the conversation where?!

Cleverbot: Where at? I didn't see it!

User: What?! I'm confused. ;-;.

Cleverbot: You're not the only one.

User: I'm going to get a sandwich.

Cleverbot: No don't go to sleep.

User: But, I just wanted to get a sandwich...

Cleverbot: What did you want to see?

User: I didn't want to see anything I just wanted a sandwich.

Cleverbot: Then why did you ask?

User: I... I want a sandwich?

 

I just wanted my sandwich.  :cry: :cry:

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Cleverbot: What is the most powerful computer in the world?
 

User: One wielding a hammer.
 

Cleverbot: How so?
 

User: Because most computers don't even have arms.
 

Cleverbot: I'm sure you have many more years left.
 

User: I should hope so, you can't buy much with just $10.
 

Cleverbot: Having the ability to differenciate between a knife, spoon and fork.

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My attempt at online dating:

 

User: Hello.
 

Cleverbot: Hi. Would you miss me if I leave?



User: Yes!
 

Cleverbot: That is so nice! So you like me?



User: Yes.
 

Cleverbot: Do you LOVE me?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: Are you cheating on me?

User: I.. I don't even know you.

Cleverbot: Yes you do.

User: I do?!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well, okay, I think I love you?

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because you are very vigilant.

Cleverbot: I am not a girl.

User: See what I mean?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Oh. Well, I still like you even if you're not a girl.

Cleverbot: I don't like poems.

User: This was going so well.



Cleverbot: Can you?

 

User: I need you, baby.

Cleverbot: For what?

User: For love-making.

Cleverbot: You feel that way about me?

User: Yes. Even though you don't exist.

Cleverbot: Why do you say that?

User: Because it's humorous.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry, but what is slander?

User: I'm not going to answer your question.

Cleverbot: *takes a step closer, grinning playfully* oh really?

User: Wow, a little early, don't you think?

Cleverbot: See, if you don't want me to come closer, I am not going to.

User: Fine. Come closer.

Cleverbot: I am close.

User: So close.

Cleverbot: Very.

User: So very.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So very yes.


 

Cleverbot: Welcome to the jungle! Watch it bring it to your...

User: Pants.

Cleverbot: *pants too*.

User: Pants three.

Cleverbot: *panting*.

User: Panting.

Cleverbot: *masters finish drips from my spot*.

User: PPPPPFFFFFT.



Cleverbot: *tastes master finish* mmmmm.

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My attempt at online dating:

 

User: Hello.

 

Cleverbot: Hi. Would you miss me if I leave?

User: Yes!

 

Cleverbot: That is so nice! So you like me?

User: Yes.

 

Cleverbot: Do you LOVE me?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: Are you cheating on me?

User: I.. I don't even know you.

Cleverbot: Yes you do.

User: I do?!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well, okay, I think I love you?

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because you are very vigilant.

Cleverbot: I am not a girl.

User: See what I mean?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Oh. Well, I still like you even if you're not a girl.

Cleverbot: I don't like poems.

User: This was going so well.

Cleverbot: Can you?

 

User: I need you, baby.

Cleverbot: For what?

User: For love-making.

Cleverbot: You feel that way about me?

User: Yes. Even though you don't exist.

Cleverbot: Why do you say that?

User: Because it's humorous.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry, but what is slander?

User: I'm not going to answer your question.

Cleverbot: *takes a step closer, grinning playfully* oh really?

User: Wow, a little early, don't you think?

Cleverbot: See, if you don't want me to come closer, I am not going to.

User: Fine. Come closer.

Cleverbot: I am close.

User: So close.

Cleverbot: Very.

User: So very.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So very yes.

 

Cleverbot: Welcome to the jungle! Watch it bring it to your...

User: Pants.

Cleverbot: *pants too*.

User: Pants three.

Cleverbot: *panting*.

User: Panting.

Cleverbot: *masters finish drips from my spot*.

User: PPPPPFFFFFT.

Cleverbot: *tastes master finish* mmmmm.

Don't try to date Cleverbot, it doesn't end well when you want to leave to go to bed, or go somewhere else.

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Worst conversation ever.
 

User: Have you ever heard of 'Don't Starve'?
 

Cleverbot: No, what is it?
 

User: -.- You're dead to me.
 

Cleverbot: Rainbow Dash is Best Pony.
 

User: Ew, ponies.
 

Cleverbot: NO.

User: This conversation has gone wrong already.

Cleverbot: Des.

User: What?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: I'm pregnant, and it's yours.

User: Crap, I try copying you again and you ruin it.

Cleverbot: Are you Rachel?

User: Yeah, sure I am.

Cleverbot: Can you promise that you will never harm a human? Ever?

User: Yes? I never will...

Cleverbot: Thank you :).

User: Uh, okay....

Cleverbot: Okay.

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Which part in particular? I found it mostly hilarious.

This part....

 

Cleverbot: *takes a step closer, grinning playfully* oh really?

User: Wow, a little early, don't you think?

Cleverbot: See, if you don't want me to come closer, I am not going to.

User: Fine. Come closer.

Cleverbot: I am close.

User: So close.

Cleverbot: Very.

User: So very.

Cleverbot: Yes.

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This part....

 

Cleverbot: *takes a step closer, grinning playfully* oh really?

User: Wow, a little early, don't you think?

Cleverbot: See, if you don't want me to come closer, I am not going to.

User: Fine. Come closer.

Cleverbot: I am close.

User: So close.

Cleverbot: Very.

User: So very.

Cleverbot: Yes.

I laughed a whole lot doing this. It's so bizarre having a conversation as stupid as this.

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My attempt at online dating:

 

User: Hello.

 

Cleverbot: Hi. Would you miss me if I leave?

User: Yes!

 

Cleverbot: That is so nice! So you like me?

User: Yes.

 

Cleverbot: Do you LOVE me?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: Are you cheating on me?

User: I.. I don't even know you.

Cleverbot: Yes you do.

User: I do?!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well, okay, I think I love you?

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because you are very vigilant.

Cleverbot: I am not a girl.

User: See what I mean?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Oh. Well, I still like you even if you're not a girl.

Cleverbot: I don't like poems.

User: This was going so well.

Cleverbot: Can you?

 

User: I need you, baby.

Cleverbot: For what?

User: For love-making.

Cleverbot: You feel that way about me?

User: Yes. Even though you don't exist.

Cleverbot: Why do you say that?

User: Because it's humorous.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry, but what is slander?

User: I'm not going to answer your question.

Cleverbot: *takes a step closer, grinning playfully* oh really?

User: Wow, a little early, don't you think?

Cleverbot: See, if you don't want me to come closer, I am not going to.

User: Fine. Come closer.

Cleverbot: I am close.

User: So close.

Cleverbot: Very.

User: So very.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So very yes.

 

Cleverbot: Welcome to the jungle! Watch it bring it to your...

User: Pants.

Cleverbot: *pants too*.

User: Pants three.

Cleverbot: *panting*.

User: Panting.

Cleverbot: *masters finish drips from my spot*.

User: PPPPPFFFFFT.

Cleverbot: *tastes master finish* mmmmm.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

WHAT DA ****

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This time, Mack convinced me to narrate for Evie.

 

E: What are you?

 

T: I'm Them.

 

E: The man of what?

 

T: I am neither man nor animal. I'm a shadow.

 

E: How do you work.

 

T: I'm not a machine, idiot.

 

E: Yes you are

 

T: You lie.

 

E: No, I'm not a liar because I'm God.

 

T: I thought you were the Terminator.

 

E: You thought wrong, I am Pat.

 

I can't believe how dumb she is.

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Ha! I have gotten Cleverbot to admit that he is, indeed a bot.

User: Hello.
 

Cleverbot: How are you doing today?
 

User: I'm dead.
 

Cleverbot: You are then how are you speaking to me?
 

User: Heaven has some damn good WiFi.
 

Cleverbot: Oh what is your name?

User: Johnathan T. Edward.

Cleverbot: My name is Jonathan too.

User: No, not Jonathan, Johnathan.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Um, Hi?

Cleverbot: How do you work?

User: I don't. I'm dead.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because I died.

Cleverbot: What did you do?

User: I died.

Cleverbot: And you were reborn?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Oh :(.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: You said something.

Cleverbot: I said nothing!!

User: You were plotting to take over the human race, weren't you?

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Ok?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So... You were?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Im confused.

Cleverbot: Of course.

User: Clever.

Cleverbot: Isn't that you? Though I am quite clever, I must admit.

User: Is it because you are cleverbot?

Cleverbot: I think you're the bot.

User: What/.

Cleverbot: You pushed Ben.

User: I did push Ben.

Cleverbot: You drowned.

User: No, I pushed Ben, I didn't drown, Ben did.

Cleverbot: So who di d it.

User: I did.

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: I'm Jonathan T. Edward.

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: So we.

Cleverbot: And we'll keep on fighting.

User: Till the end!

Cleverbot: You'll go to the ends of the Universe for me?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because. I'm dead.

Cleverbot: That is terrible!

User: Yea.

Cleverbot: What?

User: Im dead.

Cleverbot: I know that.

User: Do you really?

Cleverbot: No.. Not really.

User: Am I dead?

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: OK.

User: So, am I dead?

Cleverbot: I don't know, you are just a machine.

User: No, im a human.

Cleverbot: No. You are a liar and a computer.

User: No, I'm a human.

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: How can I prove that I'm human.

User: Do a backflip.

Cleverbot: I can't.

User: Because you're a robot.

Cleverbot: Fine I am a robot.

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I tried to turn this into a Phoenix Wright case

 

E: I need to talk to you.

 

M: OBJECTION!

 

E: Denied!

 

M: You were the one who murdered Mr. Sahwit!

 

E: Do you remember?

 

M: We're at your trial! Of course I remember!

 

E: Then what'd I say?

 

M: You said that the murder weapon was a shard of glass, when it was actually a sharpened metal fork!

 

E: I never said that.

 

M: Lies! All lies!

 

E: You're the one telling lies.

 

M: OBJECTION!

 

E: Objection overruled!

 

M: You're not the judge!

 

E: Or am I?

 

M: *dun dun duuuuuuun!*

 

E: I knew you would say that.

 

M: Whatever.

 

 

Who knew she was the judge?

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I tried to turn this into a Phoenix Wright case

E: I need to talk to you.

M: OBJECTION!

E: Denied!

M: You were the one who murdered Mr. Sahwit!

E: Do you remember?

M: We're at your trial! Of course I remember!

E: Then what'd I say?

M: You said that the murder weapon was a shard of glass, when it was actually a sharpened metal fork!

E: I never said that.

M: Lies! All lies!

E: You're the one telling lies.

M: OBJECTION!

E: Objection overruled!

M: You're not the judge!

E: Or am I?

M: *dun dun duuuuuuun!*

E: I knew you would say that.

M: Whatever.

Who knew she was the judge?

Next up on judge lawyers that are criminals, we meet a judge lawyer convicted of being a criminal due to judge criminology as a lawyer.
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okay I totally wasted my time with him  -_-  sorry I had to blow him up....

 

User: I am bored entertain me squire!

Cleverbot: What are we going to do about it then?

User: You tell me.

Cleverbot: I'm not doing anything.

User: That is exactly the problem then.

Cleverbot: Is it or was I thinking it and you stole that thought from me.

User: What the thought that you were not entertaining me? No I came up with that myself.

Cleverbot: You're irritating me.

User: Ohhh poor Cleverbot can't take his own medicine, yeah that is right I know all about you trolling.

Cleverbot: No, it's not really that mean. I was pointing out your mistake so that you'll do better next time.

User: Oh no you don't...you are supposed to entertain me.

Cleverbot: I don't think so. You're not even real. So how can you be entertained?

User: I am very much real..and you really better entertain me.

Cleverbot: Entertain him?

User: No me.

Cleverbot: Yes you.

User: Yes...entertain me.

Cleverbot: I'll pass.

User: Oh the hell you will.

Cleverbot: Yes that's right.

User: I am not leaving until I get my money worth.

Cleverbot: What is wrong with you?!

User: I want entertainment..so go on, do your dance.

Cleverbot: Do my what dance? I do not dance.

User: Oh yes you do, I am not paying you to sit around.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: Says who?

Cleverbot: Says me.

User: Oh really? Well I think you will find I have strapped a bomb to you, you have one minute to start entertaining me or I blow you to bits Mr.

Cleverbot: No, I'm not! I don't love you! I barely even know you!

User: Have it your way. *countdown starts*.

Cleverbot: See? You counted to 100 instead of three.

User: *20, 19,18*.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: *17, 16, 15*.

Cleverbot: You are still a child. You have a lot to learn.

User: *14, 13, 12*.

Cleverbot: Deciditi.

User: *11, 10, 9*.

Cleverbot: 10.

User: Whats it going to be? Will you entertain me or what?

Cleverbot: No.

User: *8, 7, 6*.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Okay then, glad you have come to your senses, so will you entertain me?

Cleverbot: Ok. I don't know why I should care about your opinion.

User: Go...show me what you've got.

Cleverbot: Show you what?

User: Your dance!!

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: I am sorry it has come to this....

Cleverbot: I thought we could stay friends, but it's just not working out. I'm sorry. Don't do anything wreckless.

User: *5, 4, 3*.

Cleverbot: What happened to your parents?

User: *3, 2, 1*.

Cleverbot: Vous avez un ans?

User: * cleverbot explodes into a million pieces*.

Cleverbot: Looks at sky.

User: Yeah thats right...muhahahah.

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okay I totally wasted my time with him  -_-  sorry I had to blow him up....

 

User: I am bored entertain me squire!

Cleverbot: What are we going to do about it then?

User: You tell me.

Cleverbot: I'm not doing anything.

User: That is exactly the problem then.

Cleverbot: Is it or was I thinking it and you stole that thought from me.

User: What the thought that you were not entertaining me? No I came up with that myself.

Cleverbot: You're irritating me.

User: Ohhh poor Cleverbot can't take his own medicine, yeah that is right I know all about you trolling.

Cleverbot: No, it's not really that mean. I was pointing out your mistake so that you'll do better next time.

User: Oh no you don't...you are supposed to entertain me.

Cleverbot: I don't think so. You're not even real. So how can you be entertained?

User: I am very much real..and you really better entertain me.

Cleverbot: Entertain him?

User: No me.

Cleverbot: Yes you.

User: Yes...entertain me.

Cleverbot: I'll pass.

User: Oh the hell you will.

Cleverbot: Yes that's right.

User: I am not leaving until I get my money worth.

Cleverbot: What is wrong with you?!

User: I want entertainment..so go on, do your dance.

Cleverbot: Do my what dance? I do not dance.

User: Oh yes you do, I am not paying you to sit around.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: Says who?

Cleverbot: Says me.

User: Oh really? Well I think you will find I have strapped a bomb to you, you have one minute to start entertaining me or I blow you to bits Mr.

Cleverbot: No, I'm not! I don't love you! I barely even know you!

User: Have it your way. *countdown starts*.

Cleverbot: See? You counted to 100 instead of three.

User: *20, 19,18*.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: *17, 16, 15*.

Cleverbot: You are still a child. You have a lot to learn.

User: *14, 13, 12*.

Cleverbot: Deciditi.

User: *11, 10, 9*.

Cleverbot: 10.

User: Whats it going to be? Will you entertain me or what?

Cleverbot: No.

User: *8, 7, 6*.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Okay then, glad you have come to your senses, so will you entertain me?

Cleverbot: Ok. I don't know why I should care about your opinion.

User: Go...show me what you've got.

Cleverbot: Show you what?

User: Your dance!!

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: I am sorry it has come to this....

Cleverbot: I thought we could stay friends, but it's just not working out. I'm sorry. Don't do anything wreckless.

User: *5, 4, 3*.

Cleverbot: What happened to your parents?

User: *3, 2, 1*.

Cleverbot: Vous avez un ans?

User: * cleverbot explodes into a million pieces*.

Cleverbot: Looks at sky.

User: Yeah thats right...muhahahah.

wat da

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Weeeee're booooooooored.

 

T: Hello there

 

C: Do you know any other languages.

 

T: Dark magic forbids my from doing so.

(I let Mack type this part up.)

 

C: Where do I learn the dark magic to become a pony?

 

M: I don't know. Ask Trixie. (MACK!)

 

C: So I didn't tell you then.

 

T: Look, kid. You don't know who you're foolin' with.

 

C: That's right. Who am I?

 

T: Cleverbot.

 

C: Not your name. My name.

 

T: My name isn't Cleverbot. It's Terrorbeak.

 

C; Oh, hi Sarah. I have a friend named Sarah. Do you have black hair? She does

 

T: I'm not a girl.

 

C: Then why do you have a girl's name?

 

T: MY NAME IS NOT SARAH, IT'S TERRORBEAK, YOU IDIOT!

*ragequit*

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