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Hugo M.

By Hugo M.,
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Hugo M.

Hugo M.

Posted
Posted

I started those (weird) texts just as an joke, but it seems everyone liked them so much so this thread will be a place for me to post them. They are like any stories, but i removed the logic and eated LOTS of mushroons before making those, so here it begins:

chapter 1 sun glasses

 

Vingw is walking trough a dirt path, there are skeletons around him everywhere. After a while he finds a building, which is filled with bad guys who could kill a man in a few seconds. Vingw enters into the building, puts on  sunglasses and say: " Hey there, say hi to my little friend!". He pulls out a gun and start shooting against them, many die, but theres still a lot of them. The gun gets out of bullets and vingw starts attacking them with karate punchs. He gets surrounded by lots of them, when almost all hope is lost a tall bird wearing sunglasses enters and starts fighting togeter with vingw, they defeat all enemies and then leave the building. Out side of the building theres another enemie holding 4, no, 7 bazookas. He was about to shot but then a small bird landed from an airplane and kills him using a katana. The enemie dies and then the bazookas explone. Then vingw says to the smallbird::" Thats my boy"... CONTINUE

 

chapter 2 trip to baconopolis

 

vingw was calm now, the enemies were gone...for now.Vingw said to the smallbird and the tallbird: "we need to go to baconopolis, its a city filled with the pure bacon, bacon trees bacon bushes and bacon. Its ruled by a bacon king, i believe his name is sirmentlegen". I think that to get to baconopolis we need to go to the north, vingw stated. Puff, a smoke cloud apeared and a cave spider wearing a feather hat was in it. 

"Who are you!?"

"No." the spider says

"Where did you came from?"

"No."

vingw facepalms."Are you going to say anything other than no?"

"No."

vingw is angered now, "will you help us?!"

"Hmmmm, maybe" the spider says.

vingw says: "Then lets go to baconopolis! wait will the path to baconopolis be easy to go trough?"

"No." says the spider.

...CONTINUE

 

chapter 3 the great travel

 

The group stole some food and water from the building, so they can travel to baconopolis.The small bird flied a bit and landed on the head of the tall bird, and then went to sleep.The tall bird didn't cared and started carrying the small bird.

Vingw said: AWWWWN so cute! >_< 

Xjurwi said after it: Are you 100% sure you are really a male?

Vingw replied: Shut up!

Xjurwi:No.

Vingw: whatever lets go.

 

They started walking the plants changed, and everything was being more and more baconized as they were getting close to baconopolis, they walked a lot, resupling after some time by harvesting bacon apples from the bacon trees close to baconopolis. But for their surprise baconopolis had some huge bacon walls, made from the strongest bacon.They walked a bit more and there was a bacon gate guarded by bacon warriors. They got closer and the guards said:

You there who wants to get in?!

Vingw replied: Its me, a smallbird a tallbird and this spider.

Guards: WHO?! Those weird creatures would never get into baconopolis, how can we be sure you aren't from the religion of the flying spaget monster?

Xjurwi: Racist ***holes.

Vingw: calm down, they insulted the cutest creature on the world and im not mad ("for now". he whispers). We do not follow this weird spaget religion.

Guards: This time we will be good with you, just because you are young.We will keep close to you of course, war is no kidding.

Vingw replied: WAR?! Baconopolis is in state of war?

Guards: we will explain on the way.

...CONTINUE

 

chapter 4 YES ANOTHER TRAVEL

 

Vingw,xjurwi, the tallbird and the small birds are walking trough baconopolis, the guards are close to them.

Vingw says: Can we talk to the king?

The guard replies: Yes, you may. There are guards every where i doubt you could defeat them.

 They walk until they find the castle made of pure bacon.

Inside the castle sirmentlegen was eating his 45th bacon meal of the morning, as its stated in the bacon bible.The group comes in and they start talking with the king.

Guards: king, these strangers want to talk with you. It looks like they want to stay in baconopolis.

Sirmentlegen says: What are your names? he says with the mouth filled with bacon.

Vingw says: Im vingw, this is xjurwi and those two are a small bird and a tallbird.

Sirmentlegen: Welcome to baconopoilis ving and xjurwi.

Vingw: ... MY NAME IS VINGW, don't ever call me ving!

Sirmentlegen: i make my own rules, deal with it. He puts on bacon glasses.

Vingw: whatever then, whats the deal with this war?

Sirmentleen: Its a war against a religion that hates bacon followers. We had defeated some like those before, the church of pancakes for exmple died easy.And since Teo is a bacon lover we are allied with the HAPPY TORTILLA CHIP religion. But theres one religion that won't be defeated that easy, and that religion its ...(GOD THIS IS SO DRAMATIC!)... Pastafarianism. They are trying to destroy baconopolis!

Xjurwi: So, we can't stay here?

Sirmentlegen: You may, for one night, but you guys will have to do a job for me tomorow, a dirt job. Well today to today you will have to do a dirt job if you want to sleep here.

Xjurwi: what job?

Sirmentlegen: The job for tomorow i won't tell you untill tomorow.

Xjurwi: and whats the job for today.

Sirmentlegen: The worst job i can think about: YOU MUST CLEAN THE DISHES! MUAHAHAHHA!

Xjurwi:no.

vingw: just agree for now xjurwi.

Xjurwi: Meh, ok (No, xjurwi whispers)

 

At night vingw is seeing a photo, when looking closer we can see AlbinoWyvern in it. "we well meet again, soon" vingw whispers to himself.

On the next day the group, is together in front of sirmentlegen, whos holding a bacon gun.

Sirmentlegen: You guys will need to invade and destroy the pastafarinism strong hold, as you can see in this really well drawn drawing.

Xjurwi whispers to vingw: That drawing is worst than a 2 years old drawing.

Sirmentlegen: Another thing, you'll need to take Daver with you, hes annoying me and i think it would be fun if he did the same to you, ha!

Daver: hey guys we are going together to destroy the strong hold!

Xjurwi says: this will be a long travel.... CONTINUE

 

chapter 5 the battle agains spaget begins

 

The group was walking in the direction of the strong hold, until they decided to stop for rest some time during the night.They made a camp fire and fried some bacon sirgentlemen gave them for suplies. Something falls from Daver's pockets, small rainbow colored objects that looked like pills.

Xjurwi: hey what are those?

Daver: what do you mean by rainbow pills?! There aren't any rainbow pills here! Why are you asking that?!

Xjurwi:Hmmm, im not sure, what should i do in this situation.

Daver: Forget this and say "No.".

Xjurwi:No.

Daver:good.

 

On the next day they walked a bit more and they were in front of the strong hold's walls, there was a group of guards close to it. "We should stay quiet, and find a way to get into the strong hold" vingw whipered.

Guard: Hey! I can hear whispering close to the wall!Intruders!Lets get them!

Vingw: Wat a ?

The smallbird woke up and grabed his katana's using his beak, the tallbird was also ready to attack.But then one of the guards grabbed something from his pockets, a pan flute! He played the pan flute, and the smallbird,tallbird and xjurwi went to sleep. Apears that the pan flute can only put animals (and arachnids) to sleep.

vingw: I still can fight! Vingw checks his backpack and sees that hes out of ammo. "Maybe we could talk like gentlemens?" he says

Guards:....Seriously?

vingw:At least i tried.

Daver: Don't worry vingw, i will take care of this! Daver grabs three rainbow pills from his pockets and eats them."Rainbow power activate!" He screams.Then Daver starts getting quickler and stronger, he also is now colored like a rainbow. He runs and attacks the guards, many of them die, but then daver strunbles on a rock a falls, getting uncousions on the fall.

The guards sorround both of them and when it all seens lost they can hear something from the sky. The guards can't see whats on the sky as they are almost blinded by the sun, but then vingw sees something familia, its albinowyvern, she comes from the sky and falls into a guard. The other gards are terrified as they've never seen a creature like this before, some of them run and one plays a pan flute, but it doesn't affects Albi. Albinwyvern fights against the ones who choosed to stay and makes them uncounsious using her poisoned tail.

The guards who were surrounding them are now uncounsious. "quickly, we need to find a place to hide!" Albi says. Vingw and Albi drag the ones who were uncounsious and take them to a hiden room close to the strong hold.

Albi: Sigh, that was close.

vingw: Albi, you...

Albi: Im sorry that i am late, i found a chocolate factory a few miles from here and... you know what i probably should talk about it now. Albi burps.

vingw: How did you didn't sleep when they used the pan flute?

Albi: What? she  takes her earplugs out. "Sorry i wasn't listening to you"

vingw:... smart...

Albi:sirmentlegen explained me everything, as you can see they can use magic, this could make the war a lot harder to us.

vingw:How can they use magic?

Albi:we don't know by now, we should go into the strong hold to get the secrets.This will be hard, the strong hold is like a hive, there are many rooms in it.Some of then contain weird secrets and things.

vingw:How can we get in?

Albi:Theres a secret path in this hiden room. It can easily get us into the strong hold, but it won't be way too easier.

 

They enter into the path and start going into the strong hold.

 

...CONTINUE

 

chapter 6 Wat!?

They are walking trough the path, Daver And Xjurwi wake up. What happened? Xjurwi asks, where are we going?

Albi: You've been put to sleep by a pan flute, we are going inside the strong hold using this path.

They go a bit longer and the path ends up into a wood door, in front of the door theres a guard.

vingw: He seens different from the guards outside.

Albi: Hes an new member AKA noob. They are common at this part of the building.

vingw punches the door's glass and hits the guard. He also puts on sunglasses.They open the door and find themselfes in a large dark room, theres blood everywhere and a single book in the table. Vingw open the book and ... the book is empty, not even a single word.

They hear an eletric guitar playing a song, and blood comes from the floor. Bats,crows  and scorpions come out of the floor.

Xjurwi: Hi, how's your mom?

Scorpion: Shes fine thanks for asking, hey buddie maybe you could come at my house some day, i have some meat and dead insects for dessert.

Xjurwi: Thanks i'll, can we talk a bit more?

Scorpion: No, sorry i have to do my job, the boss will be angry if i don't.

A shadow guy comes from the blood, playing  a goat guitar with the number 666 on it.Red flames come from the book and the room gets lighter, and so we can see whos the shadow... Its Lord_Battal! Hes wearing sunglasses but they melt and he starts talking: "Daver! What did i tell you about leaving the torture house! I will make you go back there using my own hands!"

Daver: Hmm, well I will run now! Daver starts running and Battal comes after him, like a cat and a mouse.

vingw: SHould we help him?

Albi looks at daver running for his life and says: Nah, lets keep going.They walk and pass the door, and find them selves in a empty hall with one room on each side.

 

...continue

 

hapter 7 BBBBAAAAAATTTTTLLLLLLEEEEE!

 

vingw:Lets go trough the left door.

Vingw gets close to the door and see a math problem in it, and a line were he can put the result. I think i know how to solve this, vingw says.Vingw puts on a bandana and gets a pencil from his pockets and starts solving the math problem. I take this and remove that, and the result is 2! He says while putting the result in the line. The door makes a noise and a red light shines on top of it.

vingw:... You know what Albi and xjurwi lets go trough the other door.

They go to the door on the right side of the room and its possible to see a guad on the doors window.

Xjurwi I don't think vingw can easily defeat this one.

Albi: I think i know how to defeat this one. Everyone keep some distance.

Albi knocks the door and the guard opens it, and sees Albi,whos making a chibi face. You're so fluffy im gonna die, the guard says. 5 seconds later the guard dies of a hearth attack.

They go trough the door, and the other room is almost empty, theres only a alleyway to another room.They go trough it and a wall separates vingw and xjurwi from Albi the sleeping smallbird and tallbird.

vingw: No, no! Why WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! 

The room looks like a battle ground, and theres a man on the other side.

Man: Lets battle, trash pokemon go!

vingw: I accept the battle, Xjurwi go!

xjurwi:No.

vingw: pretty please?

xjurwi:No.

vingw: I will pay you later.

xjurwi:No.

 
 

chapter 8 (SECRET)

 

The enemie alread ghad an figthter ready for fight, the trash-pokemon, but vingw was in danger since xjurwi didn't want to fight. The sun was seting, and a red moon was coming.

vingw:The stars are in the right position for the ritual, the greatest warrior will fight tonight!

Opopponent:What a?

vingw grabbed a small notebook, and started drawing, it took a few minutes and then he finished it.

Opponent: Dude, what a hell are you doing?

vingw didn't replied, he just grabbed the notebook with the drawing  and said:  spawnius spellius, bringus theus greatius warriorus tous earthus againus. He dropped the notebook on the ground and a shdowy figure came from it. The shadowy figure jumped over the trah-pokemon and stepped on it, the pokemon was scared he couldn't move. The shadowy figure was getting less shadowy and a few seconds before anyone could see who it was vingw screamed:

This is EET!

Every one was shoked except for vingw, who putted on sunglasses.Eets kicked the trash-pokemon.The pokemon's trainer was scared and ran away, Eets went on vingws direction.Vingw gave Eets a piece of cake he had in his pockets and Eets ate it, making a cute face after it while vingw was petting his head. The red moon's efect end up, the moon changed into a normal moon and  Eets went away in a cloud (like a ninja!)

xjurwi: Mhmm dude what a hell you just did!?

vingw: Forget about what happened.

xjiurwi:no.

vingw:yes.

xjiurwi:no.

vingw:yes.

xjiurwi:no.

vingw:Whatever lets just keep going, theres another door right in front of the battle field.

 

chapter 9 The cave/basement

 

Ving was going to the door, and when he was about to open the door... A GIANT-FIRE-SCYTHE FROM HELL NUMBER 666 COME FROM THE ROOF AND BREAKS THE FLOOR VINGW WAS! So vingw and xjurwi fall and end up in the basement. Meanwhile in the sky Lord_Battal was fighting against Daver.

Lord_Battal:You stupid mortal! You will die eventually, you should just give up!

Daver(he is in the effects of the rainbow pills):blublublublublu... Daver says, just like a nyancat says nyannyannyannyannyan...

 

They land on a small river filled with a red water.

vingw:Gah! Is this blood?!

Xjurwi tastes the water once and say: im not sure, then he tastes the water again and says: This is, This is !... strawberry juice.

vingw tastes it too and says: mhmm.

.The basement's walls looked more like a cave's wall. In the cave vingw notices normal thigs: rocks, gems, and a walking humanoid posh bacon wearing a top hat.And weird things: Glowing mushroons,  flying potatos,  and bat-mans hideout.The posh bacon gets close to them and says:

Posh bacon: Hello my friends, would you like to know the way out here?

Xjurwi eats the posh bacon while the posh bacon screams: NO! what did i do wrong?! Please im sorry whatever i've done! And when xjurwi finishes eating the posh bacon vingw says:

vingw: what was that for?

xjurwi: he was evil, every one knows you can't trust on talking foods.Its not like i was hungry or any

vingw:Hmmm, i'll believe on this for now.

 

chapter 10 WAT?! 2 the attack

 

The cave was dark, and silently, when the posh bacon came from the shadows.

Xjurwi: If you're here then what i ate?

posh: My bacon clone, made by myself.

Xjurwi: i want to barf right now.

posh: Enough! i don't appear to be but im a warrior! I just use that clone to see whos friend! Now prepare to fight!

Xjurwi:?

Posh:BY THE POWERS OF (SOMETHING) I WILL KILL YOU USING THIS DARK SWORD!

xjurwi:No. I have a marble suit.

posh: Sigh, i didn't want to do this but i'll have to to.

Xjurwi: WAT?!

posh: BACON BACON HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

xjurwi is hit by an giant ball of pure bacon energie. The marble suit breakes and xjurwi is at the ground.But then daver and battal came from the roof, and falled on the ground slapping each other. Both of them kick the other on the face and both pass out. The posh bacon was feeling like the real winner , but then suddendly death the kid came from the smoke and said:

Death: You asymmetric fools! My weapons may not be here but i'll kick you all!

posh: GET OVER HERE!

An epic battle begins between the posh bacon and death the kid, death was winning and the posh bacon was almost dead, but then the posh bacon said:

posh: Your is asymmetric too! And after those words, it was the end for the posh ;-;

Death: Hey, you're right. After saying this death the kid passed out, meanwhile vingw was starring at them and he said:

vingw: WHAT A **** JUST HAPPENED!?

 

JoeW: meh, i should just make the time go backwards, you'll be the only one who will rememeber this vingw, so be ready for the time travel!

 

And so JoeW reseted everything, so a new storie will begin.

 

 

Chapter 1 The storie re-begins.

 

Narrator:And so in the beggining of the universe a single lonely particle was ... you know what i'll skip until the less boring part.There was him Vingw at Daver's apartment with his assistance, Rabbitfist. Daver was dead on the ground.Vingw was smoking a lolipop( because drugs are bad, and if you use drugs you'll be bad, Mmmmkay.) he takes the lolipop out of his mouth and says:

Vingw: So, what excatly did the the killer did to him?

Rannitfist: He ripped off all his limbs, took his face, stabbed him  multiple-times and wrote "Lord_Battal was here" using the victims blood on the walls.

Vingw:Dang! I guess we'll never know who was the killer.

Rabbitfist: So case dismissed?

Vingw: Yes.So lets buy some ice-cream.

Rabbitfist:I want mine to be a carrot flavored one.

 

Vingw was , a few hours later, walking through the city,  with some taffy on his pockets.

Vingws narrating for now: So, you've seen the place of my work.Thats all i do i find out who was the killer of a crime.The job is simple ,but i get some money for it. I do also draw some drawings as a hobby, but my life is boring and every single day is just like the day before it.Vingw was a t his house, thinking about video-games while watching TV, but then suddendly ...

 

 

chapter 2 ...MURDERER!

 

... Vingw went to sleep.On the next day vingw and Rabbitfist were walking throught the , while a secret person walked going to the oposite direction.

Rabbitfist:*Snif*, that men he smelled like... Daver's blood! MURDERER!

The men heard Rabbitfist's scream and began to run, and both Rabbitfist and vingw were chasing him.After a few minutes the man stopped and said:

Secret man (who totaly isn't Teo):Silly kids, do you realy thing you can beat me?

Vingw:No, we just want answers, to our questions.

Secret man (who totaly isn't Teo):The answer to all your questions is bacon, im off now! He goes away on a puff of smoke.

Rabbitfist:Hmm, bacon.Do you know what he meant by this?

vingw:Well theres another city,close to here, that has a lot of this non-sense thing.I believe we can get an answer from the city's leader ., its a wild part and its surronded by tall trees, we should be careful when going in there.

Narrator:And so, in the next day  vinny and Rabbit were going to the forest. They were walking in a calm way, but the suddendly a giant scorpion came from some big bushes. The scorpion was about to kill them a man came from the trees and killed the scorpion using a spear. THey've seen this man before ... it was Craig_Perry the bug hunter !

Craig:Grrr, those bugs are bugging me!Oh and btw are you guys ok?

Vingw:We're fine, thanks. Ermm, could you tell us how to get to the city's leader?

Craig:Hmm, i don't know, but i think i know someone who  knows, Hugo M. the owner of the cookie factory.To find him just keep going to the north, his factory is next to the cookie  mines, and in front of the cookie farms.No need to worry, i hunted all the bugs from this area.

And so vingw and Rabbitfist went to the north, to talk with Hugo M., the owner of the cookie factory. 

 

chapter 3 dun,dun...DUUUUNNNNNNNNNN
 
 
Vingw and Rabbitfist were in front of the giant cookie factory, a small red button was on the left side of a big iron gate, vingw pushes the button and a çittle person comes from the gate.
Little guy: What do you want?
Vingw: We want to talk with the owner of the factory.
Little guy: Its very rare of Hugo to talk with someone of the outside of the fabric, he's very buzy.
Rabbitfist:There's  any way for us to talk with him?
Little guy:Indeed there's, he wants one of the items from the this list.The man gives them the list.If you bring at least one for my selfish and lazy boss, he'll say whatever you want.
They start reading the list Willette's tablet; (exclude this one, Rabbitfist says) Teo's bacon bacon storage; (That guy isn't making it easy, vingw said) or  a  blue gem from the caves(That one!, Rabbitfist said)
Vingw grabbed a lantern and they went to the a cave close to the factory.
Rabbitfist:All the old memories.
After a while they separated from eachother. A few minutes later Rabbitfist  found a blue gem, lying on the ground.Rabbitfist grabbed it, and then heard a sound, it was a weird sound. A few seconds after it  5 depth worms came from the darkness and surrounded him, death seemed to be close, but then Vingw came! He was ridding a  worm!
post-257081-0-22116300-1381793252.jpg
Yes, sometimes this stories will have crappy drawings! I've been reading "Dummie doodles for dummies", wrote by @vingw and so the dummie doodles will be here sometimes!
(On a more serious note, this art thing is harder than i tought. I tried to edit the drawing a bit but this was the best i made, but some day I'll be just like willette, or miss or vingw![maybe])
vingw:Ayoooo! Silver! 
Silver (the worm) scared the other worms, and took vingw and Rabbitfist to the outside of the cave.
Vingw: Well silver, thats EET, we'll take different paths from now.Silver then went back to the cave, without looking back to vingw.
Rabbitfist(holding the gem):What a Battal's homeland just happened?!
Vingw:Its a long story, a long story about a kid and a homeless worm.
Rabbitfist:How long can that story be, we stayed only 10 minutes in the cave.
Vingw:Thats long for me.
Rabbitfist:...
 

chapter 4 The jackalope that necroed his thread and then was killed and cooked because he necroed his own crappy thread The dark king.

 

Vingw:Now that we have the gem we can trade with Hugo.

Rabbitfist:yeah, lets g... when did you turn into a green wyvern?

Vingw:Uh? I've always been a green wyvern!Haha, Rabbitfist i think you ate a spoiled carrot or something.

Rabbitfist:...I got an eye on you ...

 

Vingw and Rabbitfist went to the factory, and they gave the gem to the little man, so they got in and talked to Hugo:

Hugo(Me,I): What you guys are looking for?

Vingw:We are looking for a way to talk with the leader of the city.

Hugo:Hmm, indeed i do apreciate this gem you gave to me.My gem collection is getting like a rainbow.

Vingw:So, you'll take us to the leader?

Hugo:I don't think i have the vehicles for that, but what about some cookies?

Rabbitfist:I can see a helicopter when i look through this window.

Hugo:Erm, its out of fuel.

Rabbitfist:I can also see a little man carrying some fuel, right next to the helicopter.

Hugo:****.

 

And so,Vingw and Rabbitfist went to the center of the city.And they went to the place where the leader was, and they started talking with him.

Leader:What you guys want?

Vingw:We are looking for informations about the case we call "Daver was pwned by a misterious killer"

Leader:Who?Daver is alive!

Rabbitfist:He is?

Leader:Yes, he had a toughstone inside the caves, he probably is still there.]

Vingw:Hmm, i see.Sorry for wasting your time.

Vingw turns back, but then he feels something on the back of his head, something cold, ITS A GUN!

Leader:Sorry strangers, but me and my soldiers can't let you go, just stay here and die here.

Vingw quickly jumps and attacks the soldiers, using the poisoned spikes of his tail.Rabbitfist attacks the soldiers too, he bites and punches them, after some time there are very few soldiers around them, but then the leader calls even more soldiers.

Rabbitfist:I don't think we can defeat all those soldiers

Vingw:Sigh, i think I'll have to use this. Vingw says while taking a purple little eeg from his pockets.He throws the eeg at the floor and then a group of four smallbirds and a smallishbird, they join to form...

Spoiler 
 

Vingw:THE TALLZORD!

Soldier number 27: I'm not sure if im being punched or pecked!

Vingw and Rabbitfist use the opportunity to scape from the building , they run and they get into an alleyway.

Vingw: I think we can be safe for now.

The air gets colder around them, and a misterious voice says:" Do not worry, we arre on your side.

 

i will keep including new members wherever they can go, its quite easy as i don't need to write anything logical or with proper grammar, so i'll keep doing as i can.(i found a green mushroon circle so i have enough for some time)
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Hugo M.

Hugo M.

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chapter 3 the great travel

 

The group stole some food and water from the building, so they can travel to baconopolis.The small bird flied a bit and landed on the head of the tall bird, and then went to sleep.The tall bird didn't cared and started carrying the small bird.

Vingw said: AWWWWN so cute! >_< 

Xjurwi said after it: Are you 100% sure you are really a male?

Vingw replied: Shut up!

Xjurwi:No.

Vingw: whatever lets go.

 

They started walking the plants changed, and everything was being more and more baconized as they were getting close to baconopolis, they walked a lot, resupling after some time by harvesting bacon apples from the bacon trees close to baconopolis. But for their surprise baconopolis had some huge bacon walls, made from the strongest bacon.They walked a bit more and there was a bacon gate guarded by bacon warriors. They got closer and the guards said:

You there who wants to get in?!

Vingw replied: Its me, a smallbird a tallbird and this spider.

Guards: WHO?! Those weird creatures would never get into baconopolis, how can we be sure you aren't from the religion of the flying spaget monster?

Xjurwi: Racist ***holes.

Vingw: calm down, they insulted the cutest creature on the world and im not mad ("for now". he whispers). We do not follow this weird spaget religion.

Guards: This time we will be good with you, just because you are young.We will keep close to you of course, war is no kidding.

Vingw replied: WAR?! Baconopolis is in state of war?

Guards: we will explain on the way.

...CONTINUE

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GreenWyvern

GreenWyvern

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chapter 3 the great travel

 

The group stole some food and water from the building, so they can travel to baconopolis.The small bird flied a bit and landed on the head of the tall bird, and then went to sleep.The tall bird didn't cared and started carrying the small bird.

Vingw said: AWWWWN so cute! >_< 

Xjurwi said after it: Are you 100% sure you are really a male?

Vingw replied: Shut up!

Xjurwi:No.

Vingw: whatever lets go.

 

They started walking the plants changed, and everything was being more and more baconized as they were getting close to baconopolis, they walked a lot, resupling after some time by harvesting bacon apples from the bacon trees close to baconopolis. But for their surprise baconopolis had some huge bacon walls, made from the strongest bacon.They walked a bit more and there was a bacon gate guarded by bacon warriors. They got closer and the guards said:

You there who wants to get in?!

Vingw replied: Its me, a smallbird a tallbird and this spider.

Guards: WHO?! Those weird creatures would never get into baconopolis, how can we be sure you aren't from the religion of the flying spaget monster?

Xjurwi: Racist ***holes.

Vingw: calm down, they insulted the cutest creature on the world and im not mad ("for now". he whispers). We do not follow this weird spaget religion.

Guards: This time we will be good with you, just because you are young.We will keep close to you of course, war is no kidding.

Vingw replied: WAR?! Baconopolis is in state of war?

Guards: we will explain on the way.

...CONTINUE

 

*Dies from lack of oxygen while laughing*

 

You know me too well! Suspiciously well... hmmm...

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Hugo M.

Hugo M.

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My only complaint is that I don't curse at all.

 

Other than that it's quite fine!

Ok . On the story you're the funny guy who everyone loves.

 

I am wondering who my State managed to go to war with.

well in this world theres another religion who doesn't like bacon people. On the new text theres a tip.

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