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poulaillere

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TangoBean    10

What is a blind dinosaur called?

-Doyouthinkhesawus

Why is there no paracetamol in the jungle?

-Because the parrots eat them all

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iDrew    11

Redneck Logic;

Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.

"What's logic?" the first redneck asked.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!" said the redneck.

The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazing!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"

The redneck was catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"

The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked the friend.

"Math, history, and logic!" replied the first redneck.

"What in tarnation is logic?" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck.

"No," his friend replied.

"You're *****, ain't ya?"

steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/lpapplejackswag

Edited by iDrew

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Dragonewt    10

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Kk, tryin to help out a friend, hope I win :D

Steam: Dragonewt64 - Don't know why my url isn't working :/

P.S. http://www.youtube.com/user/gamegrumps

Edited by Dragonewt

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oflo24    10

The police still haven't caught the thief who stole swimming pool inflatables.

The thief friends think he's lying low

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woz777    10

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.

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woz777    10

Just heard this one, had to post it:

So, a priest, dressed in a black robe, gets robbed in the middle of the street, in broad daylight. A drunk guy that saw the whole thing approaches the priest and tells him:

-You disappoint me Batman!

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soggyman    10

a cop on a horse says to a girl on a bike "did santa bring you that bike for christmas?"

The girl replies "yes"

Cop says "well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her 5$.

The little girl looks up at the cop and says,"nice horse you've got there, did santa bring you that?"

The cop chuckles and replies, "he sure did!"

"well," says the little girl, "next year tell santa that the d*ck goes under the horse,not on top of it!"

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ShiftyCake    10
Is there any date where the winner will be annouced?

I do believe he simply stated whoever makes him laugh gets the key.

Therefore he'll probably stay silent until someone makes him laugh, which undoubtedly means he's hard to make laugh. So puns and the usual jokes will not work for all those who are attempting them. Think of something original. In fact, it's pretty hard to make someone laugh in such an environment as this. They'll enjoy the joke, sure, but they won't laugh.

Besides, even if he is sitting there laughing at you guys for attempting this, at least everyone else is enjoying it as well. Well worth it if I do say so myself.

But what the heck, I'm buying it anyways so who cares. Now brb, I'm going back to my pirated totally legit version.

(god this game is awesome, thumbs up to the creators)

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Techphos    10

Hey! I want you to read and tell me what you think about this

Le teacher: Derp, use harassment in a sentence

Derp: I was in love with a girl, and her-ass-meant a lot to me.

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Nyko111    10

Nyko: your nuts are going to be coasters on your desk?

Nyko: wow.

Aeon: yeah

Aeon: ive been prcticing

Aeon: LOOOL

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