Hi.

[GetNerfedOn]

As Cebu picks up from the scourges wrought by Typhoon Odette and power returns to my home i suppose I have decided in time, to share a bit of myself as others have done in this offtopic. 

Ironically enough, ten years ago I would have spilled all of myself into this space in an attempt to gain sympathy, lonely as I was. Now I've grown more wary of doing so, and for good reason. Thus i'll just share a little for those who care. 

I was born in Cebu, Philippines to a tough yet loving family. (Now that i'm older, i greatly grieve being born here.) Throughout my life I have been a self made social pariah due to my severe social ineptitude and lack of confidence. Had intellect to compensate but either succumbed to laziness or pride and fell pretty hard in class standing as a result, never to be part of the honor roll. It doesn't help that i crushed very hard on our valedictorian and residual feelings last strongly to this very day. Sadly, she is forevermore out of my reach, few will ever equal her, and I am currently unworthy and unprepared to engage in another relationship as the previous one (with someone that wasn't her, but was also a very wonderful woman I have no regrets loving) didn't work out despite the best circumstances. In the end, both the laziness and the pride in my intellect remains, to the point of the latter manifesting itself as a severe pride in the polls i make for instance. 

Grew up addicted to video games in the purest sense of the form - myopic, argued constantly with parents because games were killing my grades in their PoV, would even play simple flash games for hours on end, you get the gist. Currently though, now that i have *barely* struck a balance with grades and games, I'm given relatively free rein over my laptop, and got a Nintendo Switch for my trouble, which I thank my parents for and do my best to repay with even better grades. 

Used to be very trusting with people, but my weirdness and pride drove them away (apart from something i cannot mention here). Very lonely and talk to myself a LOT (even in public) as a result. Entered an extremely powerful self pity rut 2017-2019 due to something which really messed me up, but with the help of really good friends I made ot through. Now i strive to be friendly but it hurts when people befriend me just because

I have become relatively cynical, self-piteous and brooding in my lifetime, developments i deeply regret and find difficult to counteract. At times this has shown itself on the forums, and I sincerely hope it has not affected you too terribly. Despite the roiling rage brewing deep in me, I do my utmost to take after the kindness in Rosalina, who despite being orphaned, set out to become a warmth to the Lumas and provide them with a home in the vastness of the universe. I hope then that, despite the darkness present even in our mote of dust in the universe, you all are safe, sound and loved. Let's make what small spaces we exist home to all of us humans.

[minespatch]

I'm glad you're safe. Hold on to that hope and good things will come your way.

[Owlrust]

On 1/17/2022 at 6:44 AM, GetNerfedOn said:

I have decided in time, to share a bit of myself as others have done in this offtopic.

I love reading your guy's personal stories, it always amazes me to have my expectations about a person be defied whenever I see a glimpse of their life. Hope you're doing better friend.