Sign in to follow this  
Hopperruss

Forbidden Knowledge in words!

Recommended Posts

Hopperruss    33

Hi you guys, this is my first story I've ever made. It's a Forbidden Knowledge video mixed with words and became a story... so... YEAH! Enjoy!

---------------------------------------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~--------------------------------------------

IN the deep and scary forest, there lived a gentleman scientist named "Wilson". Wilson was trying to make a mixture at home but in vain, the mixture suddenly blow up and Wilson got all dirty. So Wilson sat down on the chair and thought it was hopeless to make another mixture.

BUT in his home there was a speaker/radio which a mysterious man said he has secret knowledge to share with Wilson, "If you think YOU are READY for it." Said The mysterious man. Wilson nodded his head with a happy mood! Then all of a sudden, the radio quickly disposes all the secret knowledge to Wilson, then Wilson suddenly smiles! ( That means he thought of something. )

SO Wilson followed the steps to make the mysterious thing, he wrapped up two rats, type words with the typewriter, setting the correct things of the machine, build the incomplete machine and he even cut his hand and use the blood in the mixture. Then the machine was successful! Wilson don't know what it is.

THE radio/speaker said Wilson to throw ( pull ) the switch, but Wilson was curious, he thought of it for awhile, then the radio/speaker Said loudly " DO IT! " So Wilson throws the switch then the machine activated, The machine quickly break out some wooden planks and the top of the machine came out, It was a Giant mysterious thing! Then a lightning strike strikes the place, and it was a scary smile! Then the radio/speaker laughed nefariously, suddenly, black hands came out from the wooden floor, and grabbed Wilson to nowhere! Outside from Wilson's home, a face in the sky was nefariously laughing, then the screen turns black and vanished.

-------------------------------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~----------------------------------------

Thanks for watching my story, see you all soon! :wilson_smile:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
kilozombie2    31

Well, it's a nice way to tell the story, but it seems a little bland. Try spicing it up with words you don't often use, or feel free to make things long! Length is important with this kind of stuff, and I think that the shortness made it seem very non-dramatic.Also, the end is kind of drab. "Then the screen turns black and vanished" took me out of the story, as the rest was being told from a book's perspective- not a retelling of what you saw ala the writing you made.

Edited by kilozombie2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this