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hello! this is my first Don't Starve story i will post the first part and if you like it i will post the second part and so forth. hope you enjoy! pt.1the noise from the ground grows louder the closer i get to it,but i NEED the amulet, i know what will happen when i try to grab it. i just can't do it, i slump to the ground, i NEED the amulet... A-HA! my fishing rod! this will be risky i know that, but i have to try. i position myself right in front of the amulet and cast, DANG! to far! i reel in and try again.Time seems to go in slow motion as the line fly's ... Time goes back to normal as the line lands on the amulet and the tentacle burst through the soft ground and i black out... what did you think?

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toejam    24

HAHA! The exchange:Dude1 - "What do you think?"Dude2 - "I think its not done."Dude1 - "Screw it, Bye."...Stories need a Beginning, Middle, and End. This is part of a good Middle.

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BarovSoap    878

HAHA! The exchange:Dude1 - "What do you think?"Dude2 - "I think its not done."Dude1 - "Screw it, Bye."...Stories need a Beginning, Middle, and End. This is part of a good Middle.

They asked for feedback so I gave it to them. I was just being honest. :p

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stormfront    26

I hope @update questioner246 comes back aside from it needing proper setup its well written and it would be a shame if it goes unfinished...

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kilozombie2    31

Time doesn't seem to go in "slow motion" when the writing is as fast paced as it gets.Slow down a bit! Feel free to extend things into multiple paragraphs, otherwise it doesn't even seem like you tried.

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HAHA! The exchange:Dude1 - "What do you think?"Dude2 - "I think its not done."Dude1 - "Screw it, Bye."...Stories need a Beginning, Middle, and End. This is part of a good Middle.

:p i know right?

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