Paxtonnnn Posted October 6, 2016 Share Posted October 6, 2016 Life is hard. And these poems (and art, but that's in another castle thread) are how I vent. Hope you enjoy them. Spoiler I can't help but smile; I'm broken inside I can't help but laugh; I just want to die I can't help but wonder, why I'm still alive My least favorite place, is inside my mind They ask how I'm doing; 'I told you, I'm fine' What none of them know, is that that's all a lie I run away, crying, over tiny mistakes I'm just a big baby, that's cried a whole lake I'm an idiot, 'though everyone tells me I'm not But inside my mind, my confidence rots. I can't do a thing, without losing all hope And sometimes in daydreams, I hang by a rope. Spoiler The brightest souls hide the darkest shadows. Many times, Hell is in the mind, and Heaven is in the smile. Spoiler Why do I feel empty? Because I can feel Life cracking my heart until it breaks, everything I once held in it poured out where I can't see, feel, or hear it anymore, leaving me with nothing... Except, ironically, the one I don't want in it. Its slow, cold beat. Spoiler I hear lies, as you say compliments. I despise, myself so much. I'm just a piece of trash, and Life's a garbage dump. I see my death, in my daydreams. I'm a wreck, yes I know And Life's so freakin' hard, 'cause depression grows and grows.. And I know that "no one's perfect", but no one's bad as me~ And I've heard that "time heals all wounds", but that's too good to be~ 'Cause I'm just a waste, an utter disgrace, and I never belonged in this GODAWFUL PLACE Spoiler your words as sharp as needles you held my happiness, thin as string you could've used your words and my happiness to keep my heart together instead your took your words and stabbed me in the heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minespatch Posted October 6, 2016 Share Posted October 6, 2016 Ever thought about putting this to music? Strumming on a guitar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paxtonnnn Posted October 6, 2016 Author Share Posted October 6, 2016 22 minutes ago, minespatch said: Ever thought about putting this to music? Strumming on a guitar? I actually have written lyrics to my own 'songs', (since I was really young I've been doing things like that) but I don't want to record myself singing and I can't play an instrument. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minespatch Posted October 6, 2016 Share Posted October 6, 2016 There's always a place to start. Try a few tunes on the free audio program, Audacity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paxtonnnn Posted October 6, 2016 Author Share Posted October 6, 2016 10 minutes ago, minespatch said: There's always a place to start. Try a few tunes on the free audio program, Audacity. I might try to learn how to play an instrument, but for sure I'm not going to record my singing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minespatch Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 3 hours ago, Paxtonnnn said: I might try to learn how to play an instrument, but for sure I'm not going to record my singing. Instrumentals work too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonMage156 Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 Idk why but I randomly thought of this: Maybe it fits poem types Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mobbstar Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 Not knowing how to play an instrument may be an excuse (unless you have a few good friends who might play for you), but "not wanting to" sing is not a legitimate argument. These are not exactly the kind of texts that require a clear, strong voice... and hitting the notes is just a matter of practise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minespatch Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 Take your time, Pax. Strum out the bad issues away. Those Poems and drawings are a good start for getting your insecurities out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paxtonnnn Posted October 7, 2016 Author Share Posted October 7, 2016 4 hours ago, Mobbstar said: but "not wanting to" sing is not a legitimate argument. The truth is I'm just uncomfortable revealing my voice online. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mobbstar Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 19 minutes ago, Paxtonnnn said: The truth is I'm just uncomfortable revealing my voice online. Now that is a perfectly legitimate argument in my books. I shall sing in your stead. JK I sound awful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeklo Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 1 hour ago, Mobbstar said: I shall sing in your stead. JK I sound awful. I sound awful too but will sing in your stead in Paxton's stead. ... But probably not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonMage156 Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 I have that same problem except I hate even hearing my voice on camera X( Also: Spoiler (Language. Wait is every video I post got language? 0_0 ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paxtonnnn Posted October 10, 2016 Author Share Posted October 10, 2016 Last Friday I wrote a- poem? It's more song lyrics for a song I'll never make. Spoiler I hear lies, as you say compliments. I despise, myself so much. I'm just a piece of trash, and Life's a garbage dump. I see my death, in my daydreams. I'm a wreck, yes I know And Life's so freakin' hard, 'cause depression grows and grows.. And I know that "no one's perfect", but no one's bad as me~ And I've heard that "time heals all wounds", but that's too good to be~ 'Cause I'm just a waste, an utter disgrace, and I never belonged in this GODAWFUL PLACE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minespatch Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Uh... Who is that directed to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paxtonnnn Posted October 10, 2016 Author Share Posted October 10, 2016 14 minutes ago, minespatch said: Uh... Who is that directed to? Well that beginning part is directed to people who compliment me. The whole thing is basically about my self-hatred. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minespatch Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Stop being so harsh on yourself. I really need to work on a noogie picture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paxtonnnn Posted October 10, 2016 Author Share Posted October 10, 2016 24 minutes ago, minespatch said: Stop being so harsh on yourself. I really need to work on a noogie picture. Yeah maybe I should just remove that poem from here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minespatch Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 No...? You're venting. There's nothing wrong with that. It means you're human. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonMage156 Posted October 11, 2016 Share Posted October 11, 2016 I wish I could be more supportive than just saying "Don't hate yourself" but I can't help but to say "Don't". Everyone is so much better than that and everyone has potential... unless you're a murderer or some crime committer who never learns 0_0 I know you're not that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paxtonnnn Posted October 18, 2016 Author Share Posted October 18, 2016 Okay, one excuse for not posting here much: Today and yesterday, I haven't been feeling as depressed as usual at school, which is good. Even though I'm much less depressed, I'm also more stressed, so not all my problems are gone. I won't be posting here much anymore, if I post here at all. (My poems weren't very good anyway.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minespatch Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 Write what your want, it's not something you should force out of yourself. It'll come to when you least expect it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonMage156 Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 Well atleast your not depressed and hating yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paxtonnnn Posted October 19, 2016 Author Share Posted October 19, 2016 11 minutes ago, DragonMage156 said: 1)Well atleast your not depressed and 2)hating yourself. 1) Well I still don't know for sure. 2) I still do hate myself at times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiturcaClaudiuStef Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 8 hours ago, Paxtonnnn said: 1) Well I still don't know for sure. 2) I still do hate myself at times. if you just need to write something no need to be depresed like this: if you're sad and want to sing just do it until the walls cling be a fallen so the world can be broken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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